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Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Tuesday, April 20th, 2021

      Hello.  I'm at Starbucks, on Plumb St. at Arlington in beautiful Reno, Nevada.  I'm listening to an audiobook of Robert Bloch's material presented by Horror Babble on youtube.  Robert Block is a very good writer, following in the footsteps of Poe and H.P. Lovecraft, and he does a good job of it.

     I'm writing because I don't know what else to do with myself.  

     Inside I just groaned because two loud people just sat down near-by, and now I have to listen to them, and curb my smoking.

     Fuck it, I'll go around the corner for a cig, and to escape their dreadful, hideous chatter.  

* * * * *

     2:22 p.m.  I'm feeling sluggish, and almost in a food coma..  I feel like taking a nap, but I"m trying to make better use of my time.  Sometimes the body needs a refresh, though.

     I'll try and fight through my desire to sleep.  Maybe a catnap wouldn't hurt.  

     I can't upload the two videos I made to this page.  The file size is too big.  I would have to post those somewhere else, and then provide a link.  That is way too much work, and due to the content, I wouldn't know where to post them.  I really wouldn't.  I was hoping this would be the place for them, but it is not to be.

     So, I'm listening to this audiobook by Robert Bloch, about some Chinese man who murders people, and then feeds the canaries with dead bodies.  I almost was falling asleep during the listening.

     Maybe I'll walk to the car to wake me up.  


*****

     I did enjoy 'The Lighthouse', began by Poe, and finished by Bloch.  It was like hearing a new Poe tale that I had never heard before, and that was true.  So I got some joy out of that.

     If it was up to me right now, I'd be playing Entropia Universe, but I have no nearby power or electricity.  That's too bad.

     Okay, I'm gonna walk to my car.

*****

2:41 p.m.  I ate some more peaches, and finished up the can.  They were delicious, and I enjoyed drinking the juice, too.

     A thought in my head that popped up was, "I want to go back home to Van Nuys."  I don't know what I would do there, I have no place to go, and the last time I was there, it wasn't the same.  Things change when you grow up.  The feelings you have as a kid change, and things look different because you are taller.

     Anyway, it's a beautiful day, I'll try and make the most of it.

     I can't make a video, because there are people around, and it would make me feel uncomfortable to film around them.

     So, in a recent website I joined, it stated in their policy that they didn't want any images of masturbation or of sex.  That's pretty standard, but those two things were actually on the queue of what I wanted to do, haha.  I guess I'll have to find some place else for those things.

     Even porn has rules.  They have one I don't understand, that the guy always has to come on the outside of the woman, and not inside.  That's a law for some reason.  I don't get it.  It makes no sense to me.  

     2:53 p.m.  I guess I'll have a cig.  

     2:59 p.m.  I've been thinking in the last day of making a Life Drawing blog.  It might be a good idea for me, just so I can have a place to put all my drawings up.  Then I could do what I want there.  Or I could just put those drawings up here, and not bother about making a new blog, since no one will look at it anyhow.  I have time to decide, there is no rush.  Life Drawings, while a part of my work, isn't the main thing.  I'll have to think about what I want to do.

     For me, the problem is, "Is it art or is it porn?"  The poses I want to draw are  not the traditional art poses.  I want to do open-legged drawings.  That's all anybody wants to see anyway, at least I do.  Standard life drawings are for noobs.  I don't even know if it is art, or just art training.  In the art world, no one gives a shit about Life Drawings.  They aren't the thing that makes or breaks an artist.

     You take someone like Lucien Freud, well, he's more my style, and he wasn't afraid of displaying crotch areas in vivid detail.  I like him for that, and everything looks beautiful when it is painted.  

     Yeah, I will have to spend some time thinking about Life Drawings.  They are still taboo on the web, and it requires a person to be 18 to even look at them.  It's just how it is.  

     Hmmmm.

     So, it's Rated G art for General Audiences, or it is 18 and over art.  I want to do both, so that's what I'm going to do.  The problem with the 18 and over art, again, is, "hmmmm, life drawings, harmless, showing the human body using tactile art materials....or going a step further, and showing provocative poses, and models in sexual situations.....hmmmmm....I guess I want to do it all.,"  

     All I know is that a hard penis crosses the line for a lot of people and institutions.  But, with that being said, a lot of people, both men and women, like to look at hard cock pictures, so I don't know, to each his own.  

     All I know is that Eroticism is a time-honored tradition.  I guess a lot of that stuff is idealized, and they weren't going for realism.

     I did find some 19th century drawings of people having sex.  Those drawings were hard to find, but I am glad to know they exist.  

     Porn is what makes us human, and happy.  That's my opinion, of course, but a lot of people share that opinion.  

     3:15 p.m.  The two people left, and I was glad, and now there are two old ladies in the patio.  That's no fun for me, especially ruining my plans to have a cigarette right here.  Now I have to go around the corner.  

     Hmmm, I just had a thought....by putting no tags on this post, it will ensure that no one will read this.  I'm not worried in either case.  Even with a hundred tags, no one will read this blog.  It's been up for years, and no one gives a shit, to be honest.  I enjoy it, because I like to type and write, so that's what it is good for.

     Hmmm....should I make a video?  I will have to think about that during the course of a cigarette.

     3:31 p.m.  I'm still stinging after the loss of my TMNT pillow.  It was left in the hotel room, and disposed of.  That's too bad.  I loved that thing.  I didn't at first, but I grew to love it.  I'll never trust my stuff with another person again.  It was accident on both parts.  Shit happens.

     I need to use the bathrooom.  Maybe that will help.

     3:36 p.m.  I feel better now, and had some thoughts about Life Drawing.  Well, there is Life Drawing, where there is a nude model, either male or female.  Then there is Life Drawing which is a little more suggestive with the poses, and where details are given.  Then there is Porn Art, where everything that porn does is done in an illustrated manner.  Well, is that even true porn?  Then there is Porn, being soft-core and hard-core.  But isn't the standard Life Drawings just a form of soft porn?  Hell, I got into art because of the bodies.  I wanted to see them, and draw them.  And I did, and it was great.  Except for me, drawing male models just isn't as fun as drawing the females.  Anyway, so, there are lots of grey areas.  Is Life Drawing the study of the human body, or not?  What is the difference between physical and sexual?  Why can't there be both?  I don't know.  All I know is in actual Life Drawing classes, you are expected to behave yourself, and do your work.  No shenanigans are accepted, or tolerated.  

     For my Life Drawing blog, I would want videos and photos of the model, of every pose.  That's what I would want to do.  

     Who Knows?  Maybe I'll start a Life Drawing Blog.  Of course, it would have to be 18 and over.  I would not want to rustle anyone's feathers.



     Just for my own self, I wanted to put this picture up, just because.  The girl on the left reminds me of someone I used to know  from long ago, and I can't quite place her.  She had short curly blonde-brown hair with a cute face.  I liked her.  I wonder what ever happened to her?  She may have been from the cafe in L.A.


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