What the hell to do with myself now?

I don't know, maybe go sit in the steam room at the Y and chillax.

Wow, Halloween is coming up.

Go giants.

According to my adsense account, I made my first 66 cents. That is amazing.

Wow, people in countries that have viewed my blog now include the U.K., China, and France, haha.

The web is an amazing thing.

San Francisco is a beautiful city, and most of the jobs here are service oriented. Not easy to survive as an artist. I guess I had better work harder or something.

I just spent an hour playing Free Realms during 'Power Hour'. I have almost 150,000 coins now. You can never have enough, since housing in that game is pretty pricey.

It is amazing He-Man and The Masters of The Universe has survived all these years. That show is an institution for those who grew up on it.

Youtube is pretty amazing, to be able to watch so many different things.

Redtube supplies me with all my porn needs, haha. I can see a different naked chick every night, and they have porn anime on it, haha. I watched this blonde cartoon get fucked by guys in the office for product testing. Not sure, but one of the products this company produced in the cartoon was dildos.

Facebook is great because it makes me feel like I'm not alone, but then when no one responds to anything I do, I feel really alone.

So when I get lonely, there are online games, and always someone there, and I can be another character besides myself. That is nice.

Thank god for coffee is all I can say. Probably if it wasn't for coffee, I'd be drinking some serious amounts of alcohol.

Yoga has been good for me after two and a half years. I'm certainly a lot skinnier than when I started. My smoking habit doesn't help, though.

This blog entry does not have a picture, because the picture icon is not there for some reason. Maybe I can add a picture later.

Life is good. I like it. Now to pay for it. I've been working hard on my web stuff, like on my youtube site at davidlvins67, making video after video, hoping I get hits. All you can do sometimes is wait, or not think about it too much. I want it all to happen for me. I want to be a success story because of my perseverance, dedication, and belief in myself. No one can do it except me.

What is good about the present day with computers, is now I actually have the tools to get my art and writing out there, which was impossible for me before. Instead of making a piece of art, and putting on a shelf where it would sit there for six years with no one ever seeing it, at least now I can post a picture of it.

My dream is to make and show art all over the world, and make a living at it. That would be nice. Also to have a fur-lined hot tub, not sure, working on it. I could definitely use some more studio space. That would be very helpful to me. And more space to live in.

It's kind of exciting to go back into the old Disney cartoons, and watch them with my eyes wide open at every detail. Also to see them as an adult. The same thing holds true now as when I was a kid. Warner Brothers cartoons are funnier.

I love porn, it makes me happy

Anyway, I just got back from the coffee shop, working on my 'Three Little Pigs' story that I will make a video out of. I never know what will happen when I sit down and write and draw a story like that. I don't know what will bubble up. Whatever happens is usually pretty interesting to me, and I have a good time doing it. I really tried to restrain myself to make it into a rated PG thing, it isn't always easy for me nor is it my desire, because hey, I'm 42, and the Hollywood ratings system kind of bores me to tears. Except to supposedly protect the kids, I don't know what the point of the rating system is.
Anyway, I am sluffing yoga today, I don't feel like a vigorous hatha flow class today...ugh. I'm not a big fan of hatha flow anyhow. I suffer through it once in a while, and if there were not cute girls in the class, I would barely want to do it at all. I'd rather be in the coffee shop drawing or sitting at home playing video games.
I don't think anybody is reading this blog, and that is not very important to me at this point. All that matters is to keep doing it, and then I'll see what happens. I don't even know what I am doing yet.
Anyway, I heard of some survey they did, and they asked people what was the thing that made them the most happy, and a lot of people said, "Porn". Haha.

Anyhow, I have to find a job. That will be a challenge for me. I'd love to do something where I can use my talents, but that is unlikely. Most jobs just want to pigeon-hole you into one task, or a limited number of tasks, and you do that ad nauseum until you snap.

I like being an artist. I get to do whatever I want every day, and I do whatever I feel like doing that day. I get to work on a variety of skills, and I have fun. Trust me, it is a lot of work, though, but it is work I like doing, because it is for myself. The problem is getting paid for it, eeek. I'm going to have to work on that, or I am fucked, haha.

Well, all the odds are against me. I wouldn't bet on me. Yet, I have to keep trying to survive and live in this world. It ain't easy.

Good Morning

The Giants are one win away from going to The World Series. I'll celebrate when that happens, and not before. It's baseball, anything could happen. While it is possible for The Phillies to win three games in a row and win the National League Championship, it is unlikely. It has happened before where a team down 3-1 has come back to win, but it is unlikely. It's baseball. I want the Giants to win.

Well, it's a strange world.

Good morning, I got my coffee and my Arizona brand drink of Kiwi Strawberry, my favorite, from the smoke shop next door. Good people there. I am nothing without coffee.

So, I am glad that this blog is for people over 18, because I am over 18. Technically, I am an adult, and so is everyone over 18, legally. That means being able to join the army and shoot at people and kill them, look at and participate in porn, but you can't legally go in to a bar to have a beer. Haha. But at 21, you can be in the army, shoot porn videos on the side, and have a beer when you are done, so 21 is a good age.

I am still learning about blogs. I don't know how you get people to read them. I don't see how many hits I've gotten. Youtube is easier to monitor, and I get results with youtube. Here, I am on some kind of island floating around in space.
The energy I would use to type on my typewriter, I can just do here. That part of it is nice. I have so many pages laying around from over the years. I don't know what to do with them. At least here, I can publish. I hope my material won't be used against me someday for something I did or did not do. You never know who looks at your shit on the web. It's mostly harmless to reveal yourself to the world, sometimes it is an act of bravely. Sometimes it is recklessness.

Posting is fun, though. I'm starting to like to post. I'm getting addicted to it more and more. I like it.

I've blogged a little on myspace, but I kind of freeze up there for some reason; however, I ought to do more there just for the hell of it. I have nothing to lose.

I just want to be pretty casual in this blog, and not make it too serious. We'll see what happens. Maybe I will have some pieces that I work on a little, instead of just spewing and ranting, which is what I am really good at.

I am much more fluid with my writing than I am with my speech, which didn't get hooked up too good growing up. No need to talk, and not enough receptive ears for me, so I was quiet a lot.

Anyway...porn is everywhere. People like it. And they like bad, naughty talk, too. Youtube pretty much proves what the people want.

Websites will be my ultimate expression someday. I am working on my wix site, it takes time. One page I want to call 'David's Dungeon'. Haha. There I want to put all of my naughty stuff and my art. It will be 18 and over.

I am working on ideas about my redo of 'The Three Little Pigs'.

But reality is coming in, I need a job that pays. I will be screwed if I can't find a job that is at least somewhat suitable for me.

I've done a lot of menial labor jobs, and that stuff sucks. It just makes me wonder what the hell I am doing with my life, and those kind of jobs are kind of a waste of time. They sap your soul, and does not benefit me much at all. I get frustrated thinking about some of the crap work I've done in the past. My god. What a sucker I was to do that shit for such low pay, but when you don't have a lot of options, what are you going to do? I don't know.

Wow, it is the afternoon, and I have a ballgame to go to soon. Go Giants, is all I can say. I hope to god they win today.

:) and :P

The Advertising is Pornographic

Everywhere I go, ads present themselves like cheap sluts trying to sell themselves; if it is a hamburger, car, or clothing item, it doesn't matter. I still feel this 'I am trying to hustle you' from billboards or magazine ads, and they always have those fake smiles. The models get paid to smile, so they have a reason, but I don't.
I usually just buy what I need, advertising just ends up being annoying.

I don't know if I'm allowed to post porn pictures yet, I guess I'll have to read the terms of agreement. I don't see why not, since this blog is over 18, but I just want to make sure.

I don't like working much. If I do, I try to slack for at least a little bit of my shift, just to even out the score, since I am always underpaid, I might as well have some fun.

I just want to play some games, I don't want to write on this stupid blog anymore. What's the point?

Aw, Fuck

Anyway...I don't want to know the score right now, I left the game early. 5-5. I couldn't bear to watch no matter what happened. I'll find out tomorrow.

Well, I have to look for a job. Ugh. I have no skills except for what I do as an artist.

The Orange Wizard is coming along. I don't agree with some of it, but who cares? I'm just happy he has a creative outlet that could turn into something. I like The Orange Wizard.

Well, the above picture if it works, I snapped from a youtube video. They are not technically naked, since they are wearing string bikinis. haha.

Monday in October

Hello, I'm just having fun today. Who cares? No one. Haha. Anyways, it was a fun night playing Magic The Gathering last night.
Today I had my yoga class, and that was good. The teacher was attractive. I don't know if she is interested in me, I can't tell. She often is in close proximity to me when she teaches the class. I just get this vibe. Maybe she is just curious about me, I'm not sure. It's not really good etiquette for the teacher to date her student. I don't know if it would work anyhow. Besides this teacher, there are several yoga cuties I am interested in, but so far no one shows the slightest bit of interest in me as a person whatsoever. Just how it goes. Maybe the fantasy of being with them is better than the reality could ever be.

Anyway, I'm just going to have a nice day.
I'm assuming that no one will read this ever. Who would waste their time? I have no idea. I don't read other people's blogs, I don't have the slightest interest in reading blogs. I've read a couple, but haven't really got sucked into Blog World yet.

So, this blog is set for 18 and over. Does that mean I can post all the porn and smut that I want? Not sure, but maybe I can. I'll have to find others who are doing that before I do it. I don't want to get into trouble or anything, but technically, this is for people over 18, so I don't see why it should matter. Everyone either has looked at smut, or continues to look at it. Most people I know have looked at smut at one point or another. Judging from internet porn, half the world looks at internet smut, so I don't know if it is this big evil thing or not. In my opinion, smut makes people happy, once you get mature enough to handle it.

Anyway, I really didn't write on this blog for a while. I didn't know what to do on it, or what I wanted to share, or write, or anything. It makes it easier, I suppose, when you know you have readers, or an audience, but as far as I know, no one reads what I write, and why should they?

My main things on the web are my youtube site, and my facebook page. They are what I consider my 'home rooms'. Anything else I do on the web is kind of periphrial.

I'm going to start using the blog like I would my sketchbook, which is just to try out ideas. It's easier to type on the keyboard than my typewriter, which requires a lot more physical effort. On the other hand, it is completely private, and that is a plus. Here, people can see my thoughts, and I don't know how beneficial that is, but maybe it is time to join the human race, maybe.

I wouldn't mind getting paid to write, or paid to do anything. Wouldn't that be nice? It sure would. I would enjoy that. It sure beats wondering where the rent is going to come from.

So my interests are art, music, video games, comic books, and films. Maybe I could just write about stuff I like. That would be fun. Oh yeah, I like Magic The Gathering, too. I have plans for what I want to do with that.

So, I go to yoga, and there are cute girls in every class, and I don't know what to do with myself, but the whole thing makes me feel alive, and gives me energy, so that is something. I go in, do my work, and feel good the rest of the day. The pants I am wearing were falling down walking around, I keep losing weight from yoga, so I will have to buy some pants with a smaller waist size next time, which is fine with me. Better than being a lard-ass alcoholic chain smoking mother fucker.

I grew up Mormon, a lot of good that did me, haha. I don't know what that has to do with anything now.

Anyway, what now? I have no idea. I'm just going to make some more videos, and see what happens. I've been thinking about Star Trek videos, and cute puppies, so maybe I can combine the two. Cute puppy videos get millions of hits on youtube, that is amazing. I want to get millions of hits, that would be fun. Then my ego can feel good about itself. I've got to do something in this world to trick myself into thinking that there is a reason for me to be here. I don't have much going on in my life. Most people don't really care about art, especially my art. They are much more concerned with football and what's on television, or what gossip is in the magazines. That's America for you. Just a bunch of distractions, and I guess art has that function on some level. I guess it is just a vehicle to take you to another place, since reality can be so brutal and cold at times.

I am not a fan of cops. I have no reason to be. They are just doing their job, and I do mine, and that's that. I don't fit much in the way they see the world, which appears to me, to be pretty black and white in their eyes. I have other ideas about the world.

Anyway, guess I'll do my thing today, listen to Howard, maybe do some painting, and make some videos, and dream about all the girls I have the hots for. Not bad for a Monday in October.

I don't care about Halloween much, but as far as holidays go, it is one of my favorite ones. I like the imagery. I like the pagan aspects of certain holidays.

It is weird putting my thoughts here. I never know who may look at this ten years from now. I kind of don't trust blogs, because they are very revealing. The text world is different than the visual world. Amazing with all the hoopla surrounding books in years past with vulgar or profane material in them, since no one hardly gives a fuck about what is in books anymore. I mean, really, who cares? All people care about is what movie to see this weekend.

Anyway, I got to figure out my life, and figure out how to survive in this world. I could use some galactic credits coming my way, that would be nice. Laters.
:)

A Sunday in October

I haven't written on this blog for a while. I've had plenty of ideas, but I just didn't feel like writing them down. I don't have an audience on this blog yet. No one seems to care, and why should they? haha.
Currently, I am listening to a drummer next door in his practice mode. I wouldn't say that he is very good, yet I have to suffer.
It does make it kind of hard to think, and to write.
I upgraded my youtube channel last night, and I'm happy with the results. It takes time to make a good channel that people actually want to watch.
It's a nice Sunday, and soon, I will go up to North Beach for some games of Magic. I like the game, and the imagery on the cards, and the people I play with, all good fun.
I'm gonna have to figure out how to make a good blog. Takes time. Everything does.
The next thing is to figure out what to do with my life. I have a pretty good idea, but how to get paid is another story. My work has to have enough value to someone in order to pay me.
I just watched an animator working on a Snoopy cartoon. I'd rather do my own stuff. That's the problem. At least with youtube, I can do what I want. I don't want to just draw, I want to write, and film, and do it all. If a piece is by me, it is because I did the whole thing.
I saw a crappy He-Man cartoon...ugh...I can't imagine working on something so terrible. Sure it is a job, and I would get paid, but I would rather die.
I need more coffee.
I like doing this blog, it is therapy for me, but I already put so much of my life on youtube, it feels weird to put my whole life on blogger, too.
Oh well.
So, what is next? I have no idea. Make a living, I suppose. I've had trouble with that over the years, barely scraping by for the most part.
I like my life, though, I have a good time. I just want to keep doing what I love to do, but I have an overhead for my art studio that isn't always easy to cover.
Someday I'll find a way, I suppose. Or die trying. I would rather be dead than not being able to do what I set out to do.
Yes, I need some coffee.