Friday Night, 8:54

The band is still going at it. Luckily, I am fortunate to have figured out to hook my computer through speakers onward through my guitar amp. It's been very useful to drown out my neighbors.

It's a creative place down here in the basement. There are several studios. Some for bands, some for other artists, who come and go. It's always about money.
The bands have actually caused some artists to leave, or money limitations.

It does get difficult to listen to these bands, especially when they don't have much talent, but they have the egos.

I've met really talented musicians. Many are very humble about their talents. That is why they are good. They know they can always do better, so they move ahead of the people who get stuck on themselves.

It was another day where I got slightly disturbed by my oldest brother. I don't know why I keep contacting him if he upsets me so much. I must be a sicko for pain.
Meanwhile, I typed in 'first born' into Google, and there was an article that said that most oldest siblings have higher IQ's than the younger ones. Is it true in this case? Is my oldest brother smarter than me by several IQ points? He seems to be very word oriented with his speech, and maybe that was his way he tried to control us, because it was always an unfun power struggle with the siblings, over nothing in retrospect; but, from what I can tell, I write more than him. Who is to say? Maybe he is smarter in some ways, maybe I'm smarter in others.

I don't believe he has seen God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost, Moses, and Joseph Smith. He will not repudiate these claims. If he actually did, every news organization on the planet should interview him. But, Moses did not visit him, therefore, he shouldn't be interviewed that Vikings from Saturn visited him. He might as well throw that in.

I can write whatever I want, it's my blog.

I'm continuing my watching of Carl Sagan videos, that has been going on for some time. I love Carl. He is very clear and easy to understand. Science was my worst subject, hands down, I think. I just don't have a knack for it, but I love what is discussed in Science. I'm fascinated.

My knowledge of Chemistry is nil. Physics,...uh...I have a lot of reading to do.

As an artist, it's my job to continually expand my knowledge base. The Universe is expanding, I might as well, too.

I'm sorry about writing about my brother, kind of, sort of. I didn't mention his name. I don't think that would be fair. I could, because I am telling the truth of my experiences as if I was on the stand in a court of law. I'm not good at lying. People can see it on my face, and honesty is the best policy.

So let's suppose that my oldest brother is smarter than me. Then, because I am not so bright, I write this blog. Therefore, I can't be blamed.

I'm the third oldest. I might as well lay out all the cards on the table, after all, I have nothing to lose.

Thank god, the bands have stopped, maybe I can hear myself think. It 's very disorienting to be bombarded by noise of a lesser quality. Might as well have some construction workers next door, it sounds about the same.

These musicians make me miserable. I do leave at times to escape them. It's the repetition and the loudness that drives me crazy. They play loud at every opportunity, even when one musician is in there rehearsing. They must get pleasure from turning up the amp.

Silence? What is that? I am experiencing it now. Wow. It's really nice, but my ears are still buzzing.

I've written for years, and I might as well write it in a blog, a bunch of crap, I don't care. I might as well over-blog, because I don't think anybody will read this anytime soon, I'll be surprised as hell if they do, much less comment. Hardly anyone comments on anything I do, even the oldest brother barely commented on the video I made. I can expect reactions such as this from my family, kind of reserved, with no analysis or helpful comments. That is just what I can expect, but life goes on.

I'm in some kind of mood right now, not sure what kind. I'm listening to Carl Sagan talk about pseudo-science, but hey, my oldest brother loves that kind of crap. He'd rather believe that Moses visited him, than discussing something that is real, that we can both see.

I want to ask my brother, "Is the sky blue?" I might get an answer that leads to discussion about Ancient Greece, and some demi-god or something.

I had it easy. I had two older brothers, and I watched what they would do, and I'd just do it the opposite, or I found anything I could do, to separate and distinguish myself from them. Didn't always work. Some family traits and habits can't be modified too much.

"A Demon Haunted World" by Carl Sagan. That sounds like a good book. I'd like to read that. In the book, Carl Sagan dismisses pseudo-science.

I'm not a fan of astrology. Makes no sense to me, even as a game. Seems like nowadays, they use popular key words and phrases for their readers. Astrology is part of the system of control, as far as I am concerned, part of The Matrix that has been constructed for us, which basically benefits about 1% of the population.

Where am I going with all this? I'm in an exploratory mood. Hey, I'm not a writer, never said I was. I know I just enjoy writing. The keyboard is marvelous for producing a lot of words at the rate my mind thinks them. Better than the typewriter or with a hand-held pen. Though, with a pen, I think about what I am going to write more. Here, the faucet is just turned on, and out it pours.

I didn't want to write about my brother. It's a painful subject. I doubt he will ever read this. I don't care if he does. I haven't said anything bad. It's his life, he can do what he wants. I'm just trying to get to a point where I don't get disturbed by him, don't know if that is possible. He believes in the existence of invisible things as if they were an apple placed on a table right in front of you.

We were raised Mormon, that's part of the problem. Lots of first person narratives going on there, haha. I try to keep an open mind, I haven't been to church except for once in twenty years. I don't miss going to church, or hearing the songs they sing. I don't miss any of it. I don't pray, I stopped doing that long ago. There's an activity that doesn't do anything. I have brothers who pray, and I don't, I don't see that their lives are any better or worse, so what is the point? Praying is actually something you do to yourself, because there is no one to hear a prayer. Everybody's got their own prayer to improve their own life. God has a bunch of hungry puppies and kittens on his hands in the form of humans. He would hear us, I suppose, if he existed.

Hey, if you don't like what I say, or how I think, don't read this blog, is all I can say.