No One Gives A Shit About What I Do, So Why Should I Care? I Don't Know. Maybe I Am Depressed, Maybe Not.

     Hey there, I just got back from the cafe.  It is cold outside.  Long title for this blog, eh?  I figure since no one gives a fuck about what I do, that it really doesn't matter what I say or do, because it doesn't matter anyway.  Maybe I need a therapist or a shrink, I don't know.
     I was jealous of my friend next door as a kid, because he got to go to a psychologist when he was a kid, and have someone to talk to, and have someone listen to him, but I never had anyone interested in me.  No one talked to me growing up much, I was really alone, so I spent a lot of time alone.  Now I like it, but I went through some lonely times, but everyone does, so it is not a big deal.
     Anyway, all I want to do is turn on the PlayStation One and play some Pac Man and make a video.  That sounds like fun.  Namco Museum Volume 3.  It has Ms. Pac Man and Galaxians on it.
     I just looked on youtube.  They already have complete Namco Museum videos, so there is no point in making a video of it, unless I do something with it, like put in an audio track of me talking.
     My computer has a little lag, sometimes it is good to log out, and clear it all out.  Sometimes programs get stuck.  Google Talk usually does that after a make a phone call, and I don't use the program for a while.
     Fuck, it is stop and go traffic trying to write this entry.  The cursor keeps getting stuck.
    Anyway, I was at the cafe, listening to these two women talk for over an hour.  I don't know how they breathed, they were talking so much.  Maybe they were making themselves high due to lack of oxygen, and it gave them a buzz.  Maybe it was some A.A. thing.  People from A.A. meet at the cafe, and give therapy.
     Fuck, I don't even know what I am doing today.  If I had gone to yoga, I would have been done with it by now, and I'd be feeling all good and stretched out, and all limber, but instead I feel all closed off and tight.  Happens.
     It is a monumental event that I have The PS1 on.  I have not turned it on in over six months.  It works fine.  :)
     I think I am high on caffeine and nicotine right now.  It feels good.  I like it.
     I just want to paint today.
     I saw some cute girls at the cafe, even though I really was not into looking at girls today, but then a girl in black stretch pants bent over right in front of me.  That made me notice.  Damn, I love when women bend over, and their ass cheeks spread, and it has a physiological effect on me.  I can't help it.  I feel what happens to their bodies physically as they bend over, and I get the slightest little yearning to do something about it.  It makes me feel alive, and gets my blood pumping about being alive, and being on the look-out for trim.
     Haha.  Yes, I listen to a lot of Howard Stern, but when I was in school, all the guys talked a lot of shit.  It was funny at times.
     Yeah, maybe I need a therapist, I don't know.  Just someone to talk to, who can listen to me.  Problem is, I have to pay someone.
     I am all fucked up today.
     I played Ms. Pac Man.  That was fun, I haven't done that in a while.  I can still play, though the ps controller isn't the same as a joystick, but it is close enough.  Hell, to have real video games available at home is still amazing to me in a way.  We had Atari 2600 growing up, and that sucked after a while, but it was all we had.  It was all anybody had.
     Now the band is playing which ruins my video, because their crap music will get into it.  Damn, that bass player needs some lessons.  I think it is a girl playing, it's gotta be.  Just terrible bass lines and bad playing.  It is almost unbelievable how bad she is considering how long she's been playing, as if there is no intelligence there, and no effort to improve on her instrument.
     Damn, I need to piss.
     Well, I played my Ms. Pac Man game.  A ten minute video.  That is a long one.  Damn.  I wonder if I should go through with making the video of that.  Maybe I should.

David Lovins 67 - KDAV Radio - Text Edition

     Hi, welcome to KDAV Radio.  It is my show on youtube that I do once in a while, but to me, writing it is the same as broadcasting it.  My brain works better in text form sometimes.  The words don't always come out easily for me, then there is the question of, 'Who in the hell wants to listen to me talk?'  No one, at least not many.  I don't even want to listen to myself talk.  I sound like a fucking retard.  Most people sound dumb when they open their mouths, unless it really is about something, or there is a sense of urgency.
     I'll be back after this commercial break.

     Drink 'Stars and Stripes' soda!  You'll get the daily allowance you need of High Fructose Corn Syrup, giving you a splendid sugar rush sure to make your brain not function as well as it could throughout the day.  Comes in many delicious flavors at a bargain price, too!  Wow.  Buy 'Stars and Stripes' soda at a corner liquor store near you.

     Okay, I'm back.  Nature called.  I'm sure that is more information than you need to know, but since no one reads my blog, what do I care?  Haha.
     Anyway, I had a good yoga class.  The teacher is a chill chick.  She is really mellow, and I like being in her class, because it is really relaxed. 
     She looks great.  I was looking at her legs and thighs, and she was looking really good in a way that indicated strength, muscle tone, and health.
     She is a little out there, kind of in a space cadet way, but she is a good yoga teacher.  I really do like her class.  She knows what she is doing when it comes to yoga.
     There are lots of yoga people in San Francisco, and they all look great.  Their bodies look really good, and they have life in their face.  It's much better than being a lard-ass in Utah or Michigan watching television all day.
     Anyway, there was some other cute girl in class, but I tried not to stare to be polite.
     Then there is this woman I like because she just seems like a nice lady.  She revealed today she used to do circus performing.  That is really cool.  She always wears low-cut tops, though, and it drives me insane.  I can't help but notice what is hanging.  Her breasts look pretty to me.  I've never spoken to her, she would probably be in horror that I was writing about her, but I don't even know her name.  It doesn't matter, I don't go to the YMCA for socializing.
     Some people do go there for socializing, though.  The Men's Locker Room I hear lots of conversations, and I would rather not listen to what people talk about in there.  At least in high school, the locker room talk was pretty goddamn funny.  At the YMCA, I really don't want to listen to grown men talk about what they put in their salad.  High-pitched, nasally feminine voices from men is not my favorite thing to listen to.  It is kind of irritiating.  And men walk around naked, as if they really want other men to look at them, instead of wrapping a towel around themselves.  And there are guys who squat on the bench in the steam room with their cocks hanging, and I don't want to look at that.
     Anyway, it was raining earlier, but it seems to be clearing up a little now.
    
     Wow, Borders books is filing for bankruptcy.  No one buys books anymore, at least, not like they used to.

     Let's see...what else is going on?  Well, all the actors who make big money in Hollywood, well, Howard Stern seems to make more than just about anybody.  He did it.  With persistence and hard work, he made all his dreams come true.  That's kind of great.  His content is juvenile, but he has a lot of fun, and I can't get enough of his show, so grats to Howard and his staff.  He got into something he loved to do, which is radio, and he worked his ass off.  That should be a lesson to people.  All the people who used to bash him I bet would love his salary.  Howard was about the only thing that kept me going during the Bush years of stupidity, where the world was flat and moronic.  I still think Bush played the American people for all they were worth.  Just business as usual for him, while he sold us out.  Thanks, W.  What a guy you are.  I hate what you represent, though I wouldn't mind having a beer with you,  but I think he was a terrible President.  He was one of the most successful politicians who ever lived, though.  It all depends on how you look at it.  But yeah, he stole that first election, and then the American people were dumb enough to vote him in his second term.  Makes me puke.

     Anyway, today, I'm just going to do some more painting, play some games, and try and get some work done.
 
     This segment of KDAV Radio brought to you by the people that care at McDonald's, a loving corporation that puts so much salt on their french fries that it could give a heart attack to a horse.

'The U.S.S. Enterprise', acrylic on framed glass by David Lovins 67

     Thanks to a friend, I'm not going to put another lick of paint on this one.  It is done.  All I have to do is sign it.  If you squint your eyes ever so slightly, the dimensionality of the ship comes out.  This painting will be at my next art show.

Today is Tuesday, February 15, 2011

     Yesterday there was rain.  Today there was wind, and cold air.
     I had my coffee at the cafe.  It is fun to sit there and smoke and write and take sips of coffee and watch people walk.  I like to watch the women and girls.  I like to see women in ankle length dresses because you don't see that often, but it looks beautiful.  More women should wear long dresses, just as a counter-balance to all the women dressing in skimpy outfits all the time, which can get boring.  Well, actually, I like skimpy outfits.  I like it all.  I like when they show their figures instead of covering up.  I don't know what I am talking about, I'm just writing a bunch of bullshit.
     Anyway, it is a good day.  How are you?  I am fine.  I am feeling good, not that anyone cares, but I care, so I might as well have a good time.
     No one reads this shit, so what do I care?
     Anyway, so yes, I had a good time at the cafe.  I saw a girl I used to work with.  She didn't have much to say to me, she is in her own world, and I am not a part of her thoughts.  No big deal.  She is who she is.  Live and let live.
     Anyway, I finally made my 'Star Trek Paintings' video.  It was the right day to do it, when I had a clear mind about it, which is usually why I procrastinate about doing certain things, because I have to wait until I am in the right frame of mind.  The video came out good, I am happy about it.  I still need to work on the actual paintings, and I still want to paint the Enterprise.  I do not know what I am waiting for with that.  So many things I want to paint is why.  The green Orion slave girl I want to paint.  Also, some of the Star Trek women who only show up in one episode I want to paint.  And Charlie X.  I want to paint him.  He was a confused kid, haha, kind of playing the lost James Dean teen character.
     Anyway, 37,000 hits on my new youtube channel, so that is coming along good.  I like to make videos on youtube, and have people actually watch them.  That is cool.  I am hoping that eventually I will get some sales, fame, notoriety, anything, just so I can be a full-time working artist.  That is what I want.  I'm sick of working bullshit jobs that pay peanuts.
     Anyway, I like doing my KDAV Radio videos, that is pretty fun.  I am glad I finally got my oldest brother 'on the air'.  He is out there, but it is possible he makes a good radio guest.  He certainly knows how to fill up airtime.  I think he is out there, though.  But that is not my problem.
     So, I like Howard Stern a lot, even though so much of his material is really goofy, and not really all that cool when you think about it.  On the other hand, I am thoroughly entertained by Howard and his crew, and I have been for years, and I can't get enough.  Fred is cool.  I like Fred.  He actually plays guitar really good.
     Anyway, we'll see what happens today.  I am hoping to get some painting done.

     I took this photo while sitting outside of the cafe.  Even though she is big and fat.....well, that doesn't matter.  As an artist, it would be great to make a big painting of her.  It would probably sell if I could do a good job of it.  If I can make enough money selling paintings, I can hire models and make more paintings.  I need an upgrade on my studio, with a cool place for my models to be.  That would be rad.  Someday, I hope to make that happen.  I hope it happens soon, I ain't getting any younger.
     It is kind of nice being 43.  It is the perspective that comes with age that is pleasant.  Certainly a lot less bullshit.  But, it all becomes about money in this day and age.  It is how people perceive you, that is the killer.  Fuck all the rules, it makes no sense.  I am an artist, I could give a fuck.  I just want to smash people's pre-conceived notions about me, whatever they may be.  I like people.  They have treasures of knowledge in their minds.

Star Trek Paintings by David Lovins 67

     The original title for this blog entry was 'Today' because that is all I felt like writing for a title.  Anyway, I guess I have to come up with crap that people might actually search for, instead of my own inter-personal bullshit that I am consumed with every day, haha.

     Anyway, here are my Star Trek paintings...

     They aren't done yet...it takes time.  I don't mind showing unfinished work.  It is all part of the process.
     I still want to paint The Enterprise and The Orion Slave Girl.  I want to paint everyone from Star Trek, even minor characters, just for fun.  I have nothing but time, might as well.
     I'm hoping that something will happen for my art career by doing paintings like this, but on the other hand, I really like Star Trek.    

The Artist's Journal for Monday Night

     Hi there.  I haven't written for a while.  I was writing every day on this blog it seemed, but then my interest in blogging varies due to lack of response.  I love this blog, because, mostly it is for me.  I write it for myself, I do it for me.  I write every day in my sketchbook, and that stuff I never show any one, for it is no one's business but mine.  The text thing is weird, though, putting myself out there like this with words.  It seems easier with youtube and making videos, than with text, where in a way, I feel more naked.  At least with a video, I can act my way through it and have it be no big deal, but this is the real thing, I guess.
     I usually like to write a bullshit paragraph or two, so that the people who don't care at all will just go somewhere else.
     So, it looks like I have two followers on this blog.  Maybe I will have more some day, I don't know.  I have 968 hits or something.  I've made 75 cents on this blog so far.  Haha, what a joke.  As a boss, Google doesn't pay too well.  However, maybe with persistence, I can build an audience with this blog, or maybe I will start another blog, who knows?
     I guess I still am on Art Bistro, but I wasn't crazy about that site.  It is owned by 'Monster', and they kind of own what you put up there, and I didn't like that too much.  It is mostly a bunch of amateur artists and house wife types.  One of these days, I'll check in with it when I have some time to kill.
     I haven't bothered with 'Etsy' for quite some time.  My work keeps changing, so to advertise something for sale, well, by the time some one would buy something, chances are with me that the painting will have changed.  I need a whole store room for my inventory, and I just don't quite have it together enough to run a business out of my studio.
     Why haven't I written much on this blog lately?  Well, video games.  I've been playing Free Realms and Clone Wars Adventures a lot.  I love those games.  I still want to get back into EverQuest, Star Wars Galaxies, Dungeons and Dragons Online, Lord of The Rings Online, but it all takes time.  Youtube has been a big focus, because I actually get responses to my work there sometimes.  On my DavidLovins67 channel, I have 37, 500 hits so far in a year's time, and I feel pretty good about that.  My old channel had 270,000 hits the last time I checked.  All in all, I have over 800 videos on youtube, and more are coming.
     In a way, I wish I was into politics more, because then I would have more to write about that people might care about, but I mostly just don't care about getting swept up by all the shit politicians say is important.  It's all a bunch of bullshit, which is mostly designed to propel their own careers, and during my lifetime, things really haven't changed all that much since 1970.  Same old crap, different year.
     It is a relief to have W. Bush out of office.  I felt the scary curtain of ignorance cover the land like a spell, and people got stupider and stupider, but they seem to be awake now.  Also, Bush had an effect on women, so people didn't get laid as much, much like the great pussy shortage of the 1950's that Richard Pryor mentioned.
     Anyway, money is the bottom line in this country, but China seems to produce all of our every day consumer goods.  So, in a way, we are fucked, and there aren't enough jobs.  The country is in debt for trillions of dollars, and from my point of view, no one gives a shit about art, so as a professional artist, I am fucked unless I can get some sales soon. 
     Anyhow, life is good, and I am having fun.
     I did my yoga today, and I feel good.  The girls were cute, and I can bend as good as they can, which took about two years.  It is good to be flexible. 

     I guess I should put up some pictures so someone who happens upon this blog won't get bored....This Hello Kitty Backpack girl was pretty cute.  I hope she doesn't mind that I took her picture.  She was adorable, though.

     Here is my Nurse Chapel painting in progress.  Takes a while to get it exactly right.  The eyes take the longest amount of time, and if they aren't in the right position, they have to be redone.  Just part of the painting process.

     I guess Tony Clifton made a return appearance.  I would have loved to have seen that.  I'll have to check on youtube to see if anyone filmed it.

I haven't written on this blog in weeks. I just didn't get around to it.

     I had many ideas for blogs, but I was busy doing other things.  I've been busy painting, and getting ready for my art show, which is very time consuming.  At least it is lots of fun.  I enjoy painting.
     I just got through reading the blog by 'The Orange Wizard'.  I like reading it once in a while. 

     Here is my painting of Darth Vader.  It is coming along.  I don't know how much more I will work on it.  I kind of like the loose, sketchy feel of the picture.
     It is good to put pictures on blogs.  People like pictures.
     Anyway, I am just getting warmed up, I don't even know where to begin.  So much has happened.
     My feeling about this blog?  I like it, but there isn't any response to it, and I'm not making any money at it, so I don't see what the point is, except that I like to write.  This blog has garnished 75 cents.  Wow.  The Orange Wizard is doing better than mine, but he writes about different subjects that people care about, and I only write about myself, and my thoughts, and no one cares about that.  I don't even care after I'm done writing about whatever it is I'm thinking.
     Anyway, I'm just trying to get my studio cleaned up and organized, and that is no easy task.  I'm just trying to find places for things.
     I'd like to start another blog, but I like this one.  I feel like I can be myself here.  I like that.  I enjoy writing an unpopular blog, because then I can feel free to write what I want.
     My youtube channels are successful, but I don't get paid for those.  Bummer.  I wish that were different.  I guess youtube would go out of business if they paid a penny for every hit.
     I just feel like laying down, but here is another painting.

     This painting is coming along, too, better than I expected.  This one definitely needs some work.  I like that the gun looks metallic.
     I don't have much more to say right now.