I was jealous of my friend next door as a kid, because he got to go to a psychologist when he was a kid, and have someone to talk to, and have someone listen to him, but I never had anyone interested in me. No one talked to me growing up much, I was really alone, so I spent a lot of time alone. Now I like it, but I went through some lonely times, but everyone does, so it is not a big deal.
Anyway, all I want to do is turn on the PlayStation One and play some Pac Man and make a video. That sounds like fun. Namco Museum Volume 3. It has Ms. Pac Man and Galaxians on it.
I just looked on youtube. They already have complete Namco Museum videos, so there is no point in making a video of it, unless I do something with it, like put in an audio track of me talking.
My computer has a little lag, sometimes it is good to log out, and clear it all out. Sometimes programs get stuck. Google Talk usually does that after a make a phone call, and I don't use the program for a while.
Fuck, it is stop and go traffic trying to write this entry. The cursor keeps getting stuck.
Anyway, I was at the cafe, listening to these two women talk for over an hour. I don't know how they breathed, they were talking so much. Maybe they were making themselves high due to lack of oxygen, and it gave them a buzz. Maybe it was some A.A. thing. People from A.A. meet at the cafe, and give therapy.
Fuck, I don't even know what I am doing today. If I had gone to yoga, I would have been done with it by now, and I'd be feeling all good and stretched out, and all limber, but instead I feel all closed off and tight. Happens.
It is a monumental event that I have The PS1 on. I have not turned it on in over six months. It works fine. :)
I think I am high on caffeine and nicotine right now. It feels good. I like it.
I just want to paint today.
I saw some cute girls at the cafe, even though I really was not into looking at girls today, but then a girl in black stretch pants bent over right in front of me. That made me notice. Damn, I love when women bend over, and their ass cheeks spread, and it has a physiological effect on me. I can't help it. I feel what happens to their bodies physically as they bend over, and I get the slightest little yearning to do something about it. It makes me feel alive, and gets my blood pumping about being alive, and being on the look-out for trim.
Haha. Yes, I listen to a lot of Howard Stern, but when I was in school, all the guys talked a lot of shit. It was funny at times.
Yeah, maybe I need a therapist, I don't know. Just someone to talk to, who can listen to me. Problem is, I have to pay someone.
I am all fucked up today.
I played Ms. Pac Man. That was fun, I haven't done that in a while. I can still play, though the ps controller isn't the same as a joystick, but it is close enough. Hell, to have real video games available at home is still amazing to me in a way. We had Atari 2600 growing up, and that sucked after a while, but it was all we had. It was all anybody had.
Now the band is playing which ruins my video, because their crap music will get into it. Damn, that bass player needs some lessons. I think it is a girl playing, it's gotta be. Just terrible bass lines and bad playing. It is almost unbelievable how bad she is considering how long she's been playing, as if there is no intelligence there, and no effort to improve on her instrument.
Damn, I need to piss.
Well, I played my Ms. Pac Man game. A ten minute video. That is a long one. Damn. I wonder if I should go through with making the video of that. Maybe I should.
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