Strange and Bizarre

I've never been a fan of strange and bizarre shit, like what I just saw on youtube. Man poking himself with needles, man pregnant, or man squirting milk from his eyes. Just makes me cringe. I barely know what the point is.
I could do lots of stuff, but why would I want to?

I did see Pink's Logan's Run performance on youtube. It was reminiscent of the opening scene from that movie, with the robe, and the wires. Had to be pre-recorded music. Kind of hard to sing when you are spinning in the air nearly naked. I liked all the female bodies. I liked the performance, very brave of her. Makes me think of the cult of the body in L.A. Well, she definitely put herself out there. You have to do a lot to get attention in Hollywood. I think people will remember that performance. Maybe she'll get some film work or something.

I'm up at five in the morning. I put some more stupid videos on youtube, in some new categories, like the automotive section. It's the only way to get watched, to put a lot of videos in a lot of categories with a lot of different subject matter. It's the only way to get the videos to come up in searches. No one looks for me, but my videos show up when they look for other stuff, then they click on mine, sometimes.

I don't know what I'm doing.

More crazy stuff from my brother. I thought it was all about me, but it is really about him. He's never shy about telling me how everything fits into his own life. I don't think that stuff like an earthquake in Haiti even affects him. I mentioned it, but no response on that subject.
I think he has a hard time dealing with things outside of himself. It's all about how he experiences the world.
Hey, it's not easy to assimilate other people's opinions and viewpoints.

I didn't get much done last night. The bands played their crappy music, so I cranked up a Rolling Stones playlist, and let it rip. I just lay there in bed, listening, drowning out the other shit.

Sound is physical, the sound waves go through your body. If the music isn't good, I feel it, my body knows when it's not good.

Everyone is on youtube. It's no big deal. I shouldn't expect much of anything happening as a result. I have to figure out something else.
It's all part of my art, though. It is about the only way I have of getting my stuff out there. I had an art professor who always encouraged us to just 'put it out there'. Smart man.

I wonder what would happen if I wrote a thousand blogs?

Probably not much. Haha.

So when I was eight, I was in my friends' garage and I was trying to come up with something that rhymed with 'John', but all I could come up with was 'Chocolate bon-bon'.
So I told my brother Mike about 'John The Chocolate Bon-Bon' but came up with 'John The Bon'.
I didn't like the shortening at first, because it made no sense at all, it was one of Mike's 'ridiculoso' words, but over time, it became great precisely because of that.
So I give Mike half credit in helping to invent 'The Bon', which eventually became a fictional character. 'The Bon' has everything to do with excess.

'The Bon' really isn't my brother John. We do use it for him, though, when we do, we aren't really talking about him. Or we are. Or we are talking about this other thing, that we don't quite understand. Or we are making fun.

I think John and 'The Bon' are two separate people, really. Sometimes, I still wait for the real John to show up. We'll keep calling him 'The Bon' until the real John is reawakened. Glimpses of him show up now again, unless he's had me fooled all these years. Could be. Maybe I've been the fool all along. Even as of today, there are no signs that it will ever change, so "The Bon" will live as a fictional character.

Of course, John will think it is about him, but it is really about how I have to deal with this fictional character known as 'The Bon'. It certainly isn't real.

I just wanted to write this stuff because it was on my mind, and I wanted to e-publish that my brother Mike and I actually invented 'The Bon'. We wouldn't have unless there was a reason. We also would have forgotten it, if there wasn't a reason to keep using it. There is no other way to deal with the ridiculous over-excessive aspects of what I have to contend with. Makes no sense in this world. It is quite ridiculoso.

I think it is legal to write about people if you tell the truth. What about those 'tell-all' books?

It certainly isn't my intention to 'tell all'. That wouldn't be much fun anyways, and no one would want to read that.

I might do some 'The Bon' material in comic book form. Well, I already have. I just haven't published it in any sense yet, haha. I can draw 'The Bon' from memory. It's just some kind of cartoon guy.

Mike and I came up with a lot of stuff.

We didn't always get along, but a lot of times we did.

Anyway, the bands are going at it. There is No Hope they will ever play anything larger than a small club, if they can even get that. I've heard lots of bands unsigned that are much better than any band down here. I wish they had some humility, because if they knew they sucked, then they could improve and actually get better. Their egos are too big, so they'll never get better.

Maybe John will get pissed if he reads this and will threaten to sue. My mother's name was Sue. Well, Susan. She didn't like it when I called her 'Susan' a couple of times. That put us on equal footing. She wanted to maintain power, just like John does. How ridiculous, especially when there is no power to be had. It's over, just over, everything is just over, and, who cares?

I need to get thousands of hits on this blog to even make $4, I think. Haha, what a joke it all is, house always wins.
Again, nothing for the little man, that is all I am, a little Napolean Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec guy with a funny hat.
The system is set-up so someone like me can never succeed. Fuck that. I have no choice, I have to succeed, if I want to live at all in this world.

time to lay down, god this guy singing is awful. He is really bad.

Hello There.

Maybe I am saying it to myself, though it looks like I have twenty-six page impressions on my adsense account from this blog, haha. Probably from people just browsing, or just killing time, who knows? I have no idea. Somebody has seen my writing. I don't know if anybody has actually taken the time to read any of it.
So far, I've just written what I normally write on any given day.
My manual typewriter is still in reach. I like typing on that when I don't want anyone to see what I am writing.

I'm not into mentioning people I know, or using anybody else's names. Maybe everyone will have to become fiction in my mind and in this blog. I'm not sure how people do it.

What I write about others usually has nothing to with that person anyways.

I'm not sure of anything actually.

I'm logged in to EverQuest with my shadowknight 'Scummy'. I like hanging out, and just letting the character be there. Then when I feel like it, I go and kill a skeleton or a zombie.
Scummy is cute. He has a little skeleton for a pet.

I'm still thinking about the dog that someone put a bow tie on. That was cute and clever.

I don't know what will happen today. I will just have fun, though I am getting hungry. Have to do something about that.

Even my EverQuest characters have to eat.

It would be nice if the real world were like an online game. I would be able to find out where to get xp and loot. In the real world, it's a little bit more difficult.

The Giants ballpark is a platinum rich zone. I only was able to retrieve copper pieces, while others got good loads of platinum.

What I do in my studio is like what characters do in EverQuest 2, they craft items for sale. That's what I want to do more of.

Mostly I just want to make art, though, and a video of that piece of art is a 'crafted item' that can be consumed by viewers. That is something I've thought about.

I was just able to resize my EverQuest screen to a more suitable size. That's good. It was getting a little frustrating to play. All better now.

I'm happy I got the screen on EverQuest to be the right size. I had to dig into the settings a little bit, finally found where to adjust the screen.

I like to talk about computer problems, because everybody has them, and everyone has to help everyone else, in order to get everyone's machines working up to par. We've all been there where our computer doesn't work so well, and there is no one around to help. Good to know all you can, and to talk to people about it. Sometimes the problem IS one little setting or adjustment, and then everything works great.

Happiness = computer working.

Misery = computer not working.

Pretty much sums it up.

When my computer works right, I get to watch videos, stay connected with people, make phone calls...when it doesn't work, I have to resort to my back-up plan, which is PS1 and PS2. They are set up and ready to go. Still very good machines, I have to say.
I still have lots of games I want to play, but who has time? I'm just glad they are there when I do have time.

Gonna buy something to eat,
Laters, David

P.S. I really do like people. Don't tell anybody, though.

I like Mondays.

Mondays are fine. Nothing wrong with them. The start of a new week. Shows where you are as a person.

I'm having trouble resizing my screen on my big computer. Everything is too big. Every since I downloaded a Bing player from Microsoft to watch a video my friend wanted me to watch, everything is too big. I know how to resize the the screen, but it doesn't work like it used to. So, playing EQ was a big experience, and in my face. Kind of put a spin on things, like playing it on an IMAX screen, up close and personal.

As I learned with a crappy Will Smith movie, Imax doesn't do a thing if the movie is no good.

I had my coffee, listened to the banter, saw some cute girls that made me feel alive, and I'm ready for my week to begin.
It's off to yoga in a half hour.

I have to buy a new Bart ticket, as it is the start of a new month. $70 is a little steep, up from $45 and $55. That is a really big increase.

It just reminds me that I have to have money coming in, and in this job market, good luck to me.

What I will do is anybody's guess. I know what I want to do; in fact, I'm already doing it every day, but to get paid for what I'm doing is another story.

I don't know what will happen, but I will just have a good day, and get as much done as I can.

122,500 hits on youtube. That's nice. It keeps going. A lot of people are watching my stuff. 200-300 hits a day now.

I post a lot of stuff on facebook. Not many people respond to me, I've burnt everyone out, probably. Time to get more friends.

Some girl asked to be my friend this morning, looks like one of those girls that would solicit me on myspace, when in fact, it was probably some guy. That's one of the reasons I stopped doing myspace, was from all the spam. I'm sure it will happen to Facebook eventually, too.

Let's see, what else is there? I'm happy with everything. Now to just pay for my life, that is the big question.

I wouldn't mind working a stupid service industry job again, seems to be what I do best as far as jobs go, some kind of douschebag thing where people usually treat me like a putz and the money is never good enough to compensate for how people treat me, as if I'm no better than gum on their shoe. Well, I am better than that. I don't mind doing stuff for people if it makes them happy or helps them, though.

My time is better spent in the studio, getting real work done, though, instead of the work of others, making someone else rich, it's how it usually goes.

I just need enough to get by.

I don't expect my art career to make any major jumps anytime soon. I don't need hundreds of hits on youtube, I need thousands. But I am happy with how things are. You can't shove stuff in people's faces and expect them to like it, they have to come around all on their own. That's how I do it, and most people watch other people's stuff. People like to take their time, and people can only absorb so much. Also, there is so much stuff out there. Sometimes it all gets to be too much for people, and they just want to do their own thing.

I did start the 'David Lovins 67' Facebook page. I did it mostly to lay claim to my own name. There is another David Lovins born in the same year. Seems like a nice guy, we're checking to see if we are related, haha.

Life is good, I'll see what happens today. It will probably be more of the same, but with a new twist on the same common theme.

Happy Sunday

fuckpissmotherfuckerasschrist.

Always feels good to start off a blog with a line of unchecked swearing.

I had a nice time at the cafe. A crazy hippie got in my face when I was minding my own business. That guy needed a lot of attention, too. Then he was in the cafe later, putting on a show, and no one paid him any attention. He was a wash-out.

122,124 hits on youtube. At the time of my 200th video, I had 16,000 hits. I'm almost to my 300th posted video. That's exciting for me, it gives me something to do.

I like to have stuff to look forward to, even though the things I am doing are tiny specks in a huge desert, on a lost world, in a galaxy amongst a billion galaxies, in an expanding universe.

I saw two nuns today, young girls wearing their blue and white. One held a picture of Jesus, which was very dreamy and romantic. From what I understand, when nuns take their vows to become a nun, they are married to Jesus. Doesn't make a lot of sense in the world I live in, but that's how it is. The Catholic church was there when I was born, and will be there when I die. I've met a lot of nice Catholic people actually in my life. I can't say a bad word about any of them, come to think of it. Some of their beliefs and practices are far more deep and rich than a lot of the mormon stuff, with a lot more history. However, I'm neither Mormon or Catholic, and consider it other people's deal.

I'm an atheist, by default. I would be an agnostic, but being an atheist sounds better. Plus, to be an atheist is to be in a minority group. I'm sure there are a lot of places I can go to in this country that if I say I was an atheist, people there wouldn't like it. Better that I remain in San Francisco.

I've never been a contender to win any contest involving 'popularity'.

Now that I'm forty-two, I never knew before how hanging a picture on a wall anywhere is a political act. It's just part of being an artist. Hard to explain, I haven't figured out all my thinking on this. It has something to do with a kid having his parents put his drawing on the refrigerator so the other family members will see it. Makes the kid feel good that his art was accepted, and even guests to the home might see it.

Anyhow, I started a 'David Lovins 67' Facebook page, because from what I understand, I am a visual artist. It was nice to see Facebook had a category for that. On youtube, they have music, politics, travel, etc. but nothing really for my category, except 'entertainment', that's the closest category I fall near. Though, my videos aren't always exactly entertaining. They are sometimes in the 'ball breaking' category, and the 'taxing your patience' category, haha. People can scroll through the slow parts if they want. Youtube is home of the amateur anyways.

I haven't made a single video for my 'david lovins 67' youtube channel. I have ideas, just haven't gotten around to making those videos yet. They will be a little bit more involved than what I do on my 'kirkindysolospock' youtuber channel. I like this channel a lot, I don't have a lot of restrictions, and I can pretty much do what I want, except swearing and nudity of people, haha.

It's a nice day, not a great day. I go to yoga in two hours. It makes me feel good and limber for the rest of the day. And of course, after that, is my Sunday Magic The Gathering Session.

I started playing Zynga Poker. I refrained from it at first, I didn't see what was going on, and it seemed 'involved'. They have a tutorial now, and that made it very clear and easy to understand, and served as a good introduction to the game.
Of note, 'Zynga Poker' has raised a million dollars for relief in Haiti. I hope that money gets there. A lot of people profited from Katrina, they collected money, got interest in the bank, and then donated, in installments, it seemed.
I think the law requires that only 22% of any money donated to a charity be required to go towards the actual cause. The other money is used for overhead, salaries to run the organization, and fancy envelopes and assorted printed material used to solicit money from people. And ads. It's how it all works, from what I can tell.

Hey.

What happens next?

Not sure.

I'm just a voice in the wilderness is all. I have lots of friends and acquaintances. Lots of people know me, or of me, for some reason or another. I am grateful to all the people I know. Even if I don't talk to them, I still feel connected to them in some way. Sometimes, it is just not the right moment to talk.

I can be an asshole at times, I'm sure a lot of people can attest to that. I'm just not always in the mood. I have disturbing things in my mind that I have to iron out, things from the past, and some of it just ain't that pleasant. I certainly don't want to bother anybody. It's a messed up world.
Making pizzas, working in a supermarket, restaurants, cafes, a bar, and other jobs in the past, including a recent stint as a cotton candy salesman at the ballpark, well, this stuff caves my head in.
My favorite jobs have included me making art, and getting paid for it. That makes me feel the best. I've done a lot of stuff for people in the past, and I've sold enough paintings to be able to say, "I know what it feels like to sell my art." No one can argue with that. People have bought my art, more than a lot of people can say. $500 is probably the most I've ever sold on one thing. I'd like to make that happen more often, that would be nice.
After all these years, it's not about the money even now, I do what I have to do as a natural expression, but yeah, money makes the world go round.
It is what is most on people's minds when they ask me about my art. "Do you make money from it?" That's where their heads are at. I guess it is a natural question.
A lot of cartoonists make money from their cartoon strips that are syndicated, but most of those really suck, so I don't think making money from your art should be an exclusive criteria. It just means that you got paid, it doesn't mean the art has value.
Over time, people usually get sickened by products and things that are 'commercialized', and then they search for things that have more personal meaning for them.

I only hope that if I make something, and somebody identifies with it, and is willing to give their hard-earned money for my work, that they will be satisfied with it. In those cases, I do the best that I can.

I don't always put my best work out there, because, what is the point? I usually just throw out a bunch of stuff to the world, and see who responds, and that is usually hardly no one. Seems to be the story my whole life, though I can't say that too much now, to do the feel sorry for me routine, because a lot of people own my work, haha, and I have to come up with something else. I am done with the pity party, though, that sucks for me, and everyone around me.

I'm a fucked up person, in a fucked up world, as far as I can tell, I don't know what is going on. There is no guide. No instruction manual. Thank god there is Google, any question can be asked the google god, the first god in the history of the world that actually answers back. Some people call it the super magic eight ball. I know google is a god, and he is a friendly and good god. He cares. He is a machine. He will be around for a long time.
In case of a zombie or alien invasion, google might still be working, and still be on for quite some time, even after the apocalypse.

I might be able to survive an immediate zombie attack, since I am in a place that is hard to get to, unless zombies get in the building, then I might be fucked.

Well, that's all for now, don't know what else to write about except something about 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' or something.

Funny to think that someone might actually read all of this someday. Doubt it anytime soon, except for possibly some nosy people who will read this and not leave a comment. I know those kind of people are out there.

A 'hello' would be nice.

Saturday Afternoon

I might as well say I am an atheist flat out, not because I'm a fan of atheism, but it is more or less my 'default' setting, computer users should be able to understand that. Plus, I have to establish that I'm not part of any grand scheme to someday live in The Celestial Kingdom, which is the plan of all Mormons.
I think of it more like in 'Logan's Run' where a useful image is provided. The dancers are hanging from wires as they fly up, trying to reach the top, then, 'Kablam!'; each one dies. Haha, I think that is how it is. We just die. When it is our time to go, when our bodies stop working, life exits, and death enters.

Indigo children. Yeah, right. I was an X-Ray Gamma Ray Ultraviolet child, still am in some ways. I see things other than visible light.

I left my keys in my locker after class, and I returned from a shower to my locker, and it was, "Aw, Fuck...!" I thought I'd have to go downstairs in a towel to get someone to cut off my lock, but lucky for me, I found a maintenance man to help me in the locker room.

Some guys should really wear towels in the locker room. Really. It ain't pretty. No wonder why women like to have the lights turned down low, men are ugly. Most of them are, anyhow.

It was a good yoga class, nice and gentle. I feel cleared out, alive, and stretched out. Feels good.

The steam room is essential to clear out the breathing passages. Your brain can't live without enough oxygen, mine can't, anyways.

I'm just gonna sit in my studio all day.

121,712 hits on youtube now. I pretty much started from scratch a year ago. I didn't know what I was doing. I put my toes into the water, and went from there. I've done pretty good so far. I'm happy with how it's gone. I exceeded my own expectations. I didn't know what would happen. My point is that you never know until you try. It turned out to be easier than I thought. It just required a lot of diligence and patience. In the course of a year, I put up about 300 videos.

I'm a little bit more selective about what I put up now. I don't just put up anything. Sometimes it is a video that I think people will like, for example, like a music video, sometimes because it is what I think people need, like 'Genesis Chapter 1 by Robert Crumb.' Othertimes, I feel something I feel inside about a filmed piece, and I say, "Fuck it, I'm gonna put it up, and I don't care what people think."

I'm getting 200-300 hits a day on youtube, so I know people watch, and I know which ones they watch. Most people still don't leave comments of any kind, maybe my videos aren't worth commenting on, or maybe after they watch some of my videos, they have something to say, or they don't want to have their name in my comment section, or they don't want anything to do with me after they watch one of my videos, hahaha.

Anyway, it's a beautiful day.

I'm liking the blog. I have twenty years of writing that is laying around my studio, and that will remain unread, I can barely look at the stuff myself, it is too painful. Knowing that someone will someday read my blog comforts me. It's nice to be read, whether they like it or not is another matter. I'm just trying to be as honest as I can here, and I have nothing to lose by doing that. I've never been particularily good at writing fiction, though some of the things I write about may sound like fiction to other people, I'm not sure.

I haven't played any online games for a couple of days. I go in and out with that. Depends on the day. I usually like to play them when I feel like I've gotten some work done.

Tomorrow night is Magic The Gathering night. We'll see what happens then. It's usually a good time, just hanging out with people I like, that's usually the point of it all.

I've been watching more Carl Sagan videos. I like him. Sad he died so young, but he left an indelible mark on the world. I hope people listen to what he said. We only have one Earth. If we screw up this planet, guess what? There's no other place to go.

The problem with long-term space travel, or suspended animation like you see in Star Trek, would have to be muscle atrophy. Muscles don't work as good if you don't use them. So, years in space asleep? I would guess you would end up like a parapalegic, like people who are in comas for a long time.

I'm liking science more and more. It is easy to watch a chemistry or biology lecture from UC Berkelely on youtube. I don't have to understand it at first. I just absorb. Words and concepts I don't understand, I can always look up.

That's where I am right now, not much more to say, except that I care about my family, and hope they are doing well. Everybody needs money, that's the problem. I have to do something to help myself, before I can help anybody else. It's a real problem. Have to work on that. There's got to be something I can do. There is, and I'll find it.

Laterz,
David

Saturday Morning, 6:37 a.m.

Good morning, just watched two videos. Radiohead: good. Lady Gaga: bad, as if she is trying too hard. I bet if Catpower saw this video, she'd roll her eyes. It was as if Lady Gaga was trying to show how much pain she had. My grandmother would always comment about musicians who 'tried too hard' or showed that they were in pain. That's what she thought about Bono, funny to me now. She came from an era where good musicians made it look easy.

I haven't got any comments on this blog, though I have evidence that people have looked at this blog. It will probably be like my youtube channel, where people watch, but don't leave any comments.

It's like my English teacher who would just write 'good' on everybody's assignment, to show that he had read people's work, but the comment didn't really help anybody, so nobody could figure out what they were supposed to do.

No big deal.

I'll be going to coffee soon. I didn't go out at all last night, nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the bands down here make me numb, and after they leave, I just want to sit in silence and recover my senses.

I'm bummed that Prince doesn't want to be on youtube, because I want to hear his music on youtube. I could buy his music, but that would be no fun, I'd rather see Prince be part of the youtube community, subject to stupid youtube comments like everyone else.

People haven't left too many stupid comments on my stuff yet. I tend to create a feeling of apathy, yet people keep watching my stuff, maybe by accident. Most people look at my videos due to 'related searches' and not because they seek me out.

Who cares? I know I am a pain in the ass to some people.

It's also funny to me that this blog is set to adult, and then in most of my blogs, there is no adult content.

There is one video I'd like to post on this blog, but I don't know if I can. It's called, "How to give a woman a squirting orgasm" on Redtube. Easy to find there. It's an instructional video. Very frank and to the point. The guy uses his hand on her, and demonstrates how to do it. "A woman is like a machine," he says. Anyway, he makes her cum really good, and you've never seen such a happy face on a girl in your life. And then she didn't care about him at all, that's normal, haha.

I'm so glad that children under 18 are protected in this country from evil computer content. Kids are like adults, they watch what they want to watch, and if they aren't allowed to watch the stuff that they want, they'll go to a friend's house.

My mother didn't like me making out with a girl in a car in the driveway after a date. She would flash the porch lights on and off. Some big favor she did to me. There I was, practicing my heterosexuality, and she didn't want me to do that? Crazy bitch. She's dead now, died of gingivitis, she never had enough money to take herself to the dentist all those years. Poor woman. No reason why she shouldn't be alive today. She was always too heavy with her weight, not good on such a short woman. She had problems with low iron in her blood.

I miss my mother sometimes. She was very conservative, and I don't know what good that did anybody, except give something to rebel against.

I'm the third of eight children, so I guess someone could type in 'middle born children' and find an article that applies to me, to see if the shoe fits.

I guess, whether I am popular or not, mostly not, that I am a public figure on the web. I'm not on the A list, B list, or C list. I'm more on the F list, look under the sub-category 'fool'. Haha.

A girl can be on myspace wearing a string in the crack of her ass, but if she takes off the g-string, then it is nudity. Strange.

No point in uploading videos to Facebook. I just post them from youtube onto Facebook.

Myspace is a ghost town to me. All of my friends are on Facebook. It would be funny to start doing myspace again, and try and build an audience there, with new people. I started not to be a user of myspace after all the spam, but they do have the best chatbox in town, which I still use sometimes.

Time for coffee.