A friend told me it is probably automated...haha. Computers just do checks, so it is doubtful anyone reads what I write here. It doesn't matter to me. Yes it does. No it doesn't. It would be really cool if people were into what I do, but I can't count on it. I can't count on nothing in this world.
I'm into listening to Howard and Robin on youtube. That's what I listen to. I can't find a blog that I like. Someday. I got plenty of books to read in my studio anyhow. I had a fantasy of finding a blog that I would enjoy reading, just haven't found one yet.
The alternate title to this entry was 'I'm sluffing yoga'. I didn't feel like making the noontime class. It would have been nice. I wanted to do some painting, though, which I did. It is important that I keep painting, and to not miss a day.
Dang, I should have taken my friend's drunken drawings that he did last night. Now they are gone forever, probably in the trash. Sucks. I should have taken them. A lot of them were portraits of me that I could have inked and colored this morning. I figured I had enough stuff in my studio, but I was really wanting to color them in this morning. Damn. I blew it. I really regret not taking those drawings. Damn.
Anyway, life goes on, or does it? I don't know. Things go on different roads.
I'm just sitting here doing nothing. Smoking and drinking coffee.
I like being a writer. It is fun. Maybe I'll write something decent, too. Who knows? I certainly don't.
I like to work out my thoughts here on the blog. It is how I think. It is how I work. Everything is in progress, and nothing gets done. It is how I like it. Really? I don't know.
But seriously, I am thinking about lots of stuff. What will be my next video? What will be my next real blog entry? What will be my next piece of art? How will I pay the bills?
I need a shower and a shave so I don't look like a bum.
I have bills to pay.
I need a job.
I need a t.v. show so I can make money and do what I want.
It's America, anybody can do anything they want, so I don't know what I am waiting for.
All I want to do is be myself. That sounds like fun.
My family has their definition of me, and what I am supposed to be, but I don't exactly feel like myself when I talk to them. I feel like them when I talk to them. They are the people I branch out from. They have some good qualities, but echoes from the past get in the way. We are all recovering from our growing up experiences, and when we talk to each other, we just remind each other of that, and often, it is not that much fun. Despite everything, we turned out better than a lot of people in similar situations. None of us are in jail, so that is good, haha.
I just want to paint today.
There is nothing stopping me from doing anything I want in this world.
I need to buy some paints and canvasses.
What kind of art do I want to make? I don't know. I am not sure. I wish I did know. That would make things a lot easier.
I still have desires to make figurative paintings.
Hell, I still want to make comic books and children's books. It all takes time.
Dr. Seuss would spend a year just on one children's book.
With art, it is all a matter of commitment. Everything takes a long time, and to finish anything takes a real long time. Paint takes a while to dry.
Nice to do computer art, but you can't really show that in a gallery. Well, you can. Not the same as hand-made art, though.
I'm trying to get my next art show together. Not easy. I need more space and materials. I don't even know what I am doing. I am making it up as I go along. It is fun. I hope my show comes out. Not sure if it will or not. I want to make some real art, but I don't know how to really do that. I am confused. I can just make portraits. I can make art that I know will sell. But is that art? I want to make some pieces for me, and some that people might like. But to get anyone to open their wallets for my art, it makes me feel weird. I've sold more than my share in my life, too. It all just feels weird.
I need more coffee.
I need Hawaiian punch.
Instead, I opened up a beer, and I am sipping on that, even though I know I shouldn't.
Alcohol and painting is an artist's tradition, though. Good way to die, however. Not sure I want to do that. I want to live.
Really?
Not one of my best blog entries, I don't care. I am just working out things today. So many choices at every turn. Hard to know how to proceed sometimes.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment