fuckpissmotherfuckerasschrist.
Always feels good to start off a blog with a line of unchecked swearing.
I had a nice time at the cafe. A crazy hippie got in my face when I was minding my own business. That guy needed a lot of attention, too. Then he was in the cafe later, putting on a show, and no one paid him any attention. He was a wash-out.
122,124 hits on youtube. At the time of my 200th video, I had 16,000 hits. I'm almost to my 300th posted video. That's exciting for me, it gives me something to do.
I like to have stuff to look forward to, even though the things I am doing are tiny specks in a huge desert, on a lost world, in a galaxy amongst a billion galaxies, in an expanding universe.
I saw two nuns today, young girls wearing their blue and white. One held a picture of Jesus, which was very dreamy and romantic. From what I understand, when nuns take their vows to become a nun, they are married to Jesus. Doesn't make a lot of sense in the world I live in, but that's how it is. The Catholic church was there when I was born, and will be there when I die. I've met a lot of nice Catholic people actually in my life. I can't say a bad word about any of them, come to think of it. Some of their beliefs and practices are far more deep and rich than a lot of the mormon stuff, with a lot more history. However, I'm neither Mormon or Catholic, and consider it other people's deal.
I'm an atheist, by default. I would be an agnostic, but being an atheist sounds better. Plus, to be an atheist is to be in a minority group. I'm sure there are a lot of places I can go to in this country that if I say I was an atheist, people there wouldn't like it. Better that I remain in San Francisco.
I've never been a contender to win any contest involving 'popularity'.
Now that I'm forty-two, I never knew before how hanging a picture on a wall anywhere is a political act. It's just part of being an artist. Hard to explain, I haven't figured out all my thinking on this. It has something to do with a kid having his parents put his drawing on the refrigerator so the other family members will see it. Makes the kid feel good that his art was accepted, and even guests to the home might see it.
Anyhow, I started a 'David Lovins 67' Facebook page, because from what I understand, I am a visual artist. It was nice to see Facebook had a category for that. On youtube, they have music, politics, travel, etc. but nothing really for my category, except 'entertainment', that's the closest category I fall near. Though, my videos aren't always exactly entertaining. They are sometimes in the 'ball breaking' category, and the 'taxing your patience' category, haha. People can scroll through the slow parts if they want. Youtube is home of the amateur anyways.
I haven't made a single video for my 'david lovins 67' youtube channel. I have ideas, just haven't gotten around to making those videos yet. They will be a little bit more involved than what I do on my 'kirkindysolospock' youtuber channel. I like this channel a lot, I don't have a lot of restrictions, and I can pretty much do what I want, except swearing and nudity of people, haha.
It's a nice day, not a great day. I go to yoga in two hours. It makes me feel good and limber for the rest of the day. And of course, after that, is my Sunday Magic The Gathering Session.
I started playing Zynga Poker. I refrained from it at first, I didn't see what was going on, and it seemed 'involved'. They have a tutorial now, and that made it very clear and easy to understand, and served as a good introduction to the game.
Of note, 'Zynga Poker' has raised a million dollars for relief in Haiti. I hope that money gets there. A lot of people profited from Katrina, they collected money, got interest in the bank, and then donated, in installments, it seemed.
I think the law requires that only 22% of any money donated to a charity be required to go towards the actual cause. The other money is used for overhead, salaries to run the organization, and fancy envelopes and assorted printed material used to solicit money from people. And ads. It's how it all works, from what I can tell.
Hey.
What happens next?
Not sure.
I'm just a voice in the wilderness is all. I have lots of friends and acquaintances. Lots of people know me, or of me, for some reason or another. I am grateful to all the people I know. Even if I don't talk to them, I still feel connected to them in some way. Sometimes, it is just not the right moment to talk.
I can be an asshole at times, I'm sure a lot of people can attest to that. I'm just not always in the mood. I have disturbing things in my mind that I have to iron out, things from the past, and some of it just ain't that pleasant. I certainly don't want to bother anybody. It's a messed up world.
Making pizzas, working in a supermarket, restaurants, cafes, a bar, and other jobs in the past, including a recent stint as a cotton candy salesman at the ballpark, well, this stuff caves my head in.
My favorite jobs have included me making art, and getting paid for it. That makes me feel the best. I've done a lot of stuff for people in the past, and I've sold enough paintings to be able to say, "I know what it feels like to sell my art." No one can argue with that. People have bought my art, more than a lot of people can say. $500 is probably the most I've ever sold on one thing. I'd like to make that happen more often, that would be nice.
After all these years, it's not about the money even now, I do what I have to do as a natural expression, but yeah, money makes the world go round.
It is what is most on people's minds when they ask me about my art. "Do you make money from it?" That's where their heads are at. I guess it is a natural question.
A lot of cartoonists make money from their cartoon strips that are syndicated, but most of those really suck, so I don't think making money from your art should be an exclusive criteria. It just means that you got paid, it doesn't mean the art has value.
Over time, people usually get sickened by products and things that are 'commercialized', and then they search for things that have more personal meaning for them.
I only hope that if I make something, and somebody identifies with it, and is willing to give their hard-earned money for my work, that they will be satisfied with it. In those cases, I do the best that I can.
I don't always put my best work out there, because, what is the point? I usually just throw out a bunch of stuff to the world, and see who responds, and that is usually hardly no one. Seems to be the story my whole life, though I can't say that too much now, to do the feel sorry for me routine, because a lot of people own my work, haha, and I have to come up with something else. I am done with the pity party, though, that sucks for me, and everyone around me.
I'm a fucked up person, in a fucked up world, as far as I can tell, I don't know what is going on. There is no guide. No instruction manual. Thank god there is Google, any question can be asked the google god, the first god in the history of the world that actually answers back. Some people call it the super magic eight ball. I know google is a god, and he is a friendly and good god. He cares. He is a machine. He will be around for a long time.
In case of a zombie or alien invasion, google might still be working, and still be on for quite some time, even after the apocalypse.
I might be able to survive an immediate zombie attack, since I am in a place that is hard to get to, unless zombies get in the building, then I might be fucked.
Well, that's all for now, don't know what else to write about except something about 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' or something.
Funny to think that someone might actually read all of this someday. Doubt it anytime soon, except for possibly some nosy people who will read this and not leave a comment. I know those kind of people are out there.
A 'hello' would be nice.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday Afternoon
I might as well say I am an atheist flat out, not because I'm a fan of atheism, but it is more or less my 'default' setting, computer users should be able to understand that. Plus, I have to establish that I'm not part of any grand scheme to someday live in The Celestial Kingdom, which is the plan of all Mormons.
I think of it more like in 'Logan's Run' where a useful image is provided. The dancers are hanging from wires as they fly up, trying to reach the top, then, 'Kablam!'; each one dies. Haha, I think that is how it is. We just die. When it is our time to go, when our bodies stop working, life exits, and death enters.
Indigo children. Yeah, right. I was an X-Ray Gamma Ray Ultraviolet child, still am in some ways. I see things other than visible light.
I left my keys in my locker after class, and I returned from a shower to my locker, and it was, "Aw, Fuck...!" I thought I'd have to go downstairs in a towel to get someone to cut off my lock, but lucky for me, I found a maintenance man to help me in the locker room.
Some guys should really wear towels in the locker room. Really. It ain't pretty. No wonder why women like to have the lights turned down low, men are ugly. Most of them are, anyhow.
It was a good yoga class, nice and gentle. I feel cleared out, alive, and stretched out. Feels good.
The steam room is essential to clear out the breathing passages. Your brain can't live without enough oxygen, mine can't, anyways.
I'm just gonna sit in my studio all day.
121,712 hits on youtube now. I pretty much started from scratch a year ago. I didn't know what I was doing. I put my toes into the water, and went from there. I've done pretty good so far. I'm happy with how it's gone. I exceeded my own expectations. I didn't know what would happen. My point is that you never know until you try. It turned out to be easier than I thought. It just required a lot of diligence and patience. In the course of a year, I put up about 300 videos.
I'm a little bit more selective about what I put up now. I don't just put up anything. Sometimes it is a video that I think people will like, for example, like a music video, sometimes because it is what I think people need, like 'Genesis Chapter 1 by Robert Crumb.' Othertimes, I feel something I feel inside about a filmed piece, and I say, "Fuck it, I'm gonna put it up, and I don't care what people think."
I'm getting 200-300 hits a day on youtube, so I know people watch, and I know which ones they watch. Most people still don't leave comments of any kind, maybe my videos aren't worth commenting on, or maybe after they watch some of my videos, they have something to say, or they don't want to have their name in my comment section, or they don't want anything to do with me after they watch one of my videos, hahaha.
Anyway, it's a beautiful day.
I'm liking the blog. I have twenty years of writing that is laying around my studio, and that will remain unread, I can barely look at the stuff myself, it is too painful. Knowing that someone will someday read my blog comforts me. It's nice to be read, whether they like it or not is another matter. I'm just trying to be as honest as I can here, and I have nothing to lose by doing that. I've never been particularily good at writing fiction, though some of the things I write about may sound like fiction to other people, I'm not sure.
I haven't played any online games for a couple of days. I go in and out with that. Depends on the day. I usually like to play them when I feel like I've gotten some work done.
Tomorrow night is Magic The Gathering night. We'll see what happens then. It's usually a good time, just hanging out with people I like, that's usually the point of it all.
I've been watching more Carl Sagan videos. I like him. Sad he died so young, but he left an indelible mark on the world. I hope people listen to what he said. We only have one Earth. If we screw up this planet, guess what? There's no other place to go.
The problem with long-term space travel, or suspended animation like you see in Star Trek, would have to be muscle atrophy. Muscles don't work as good if you don't use them. So, years in space asleep? I would guess you would end up like a parapalegic, like people who are in comas for a long time.
I'm liking science more and more. It is easy to watch a chemistry or biology lecture from UC Berkelely on youtube. I don't have to understand it at first. I just absorb. Words and concepts I don't understand, I can always look up.
That's where I am right now, not much more to say, except that I care about my family, and hope they are doing well. Everybody needs money, that's the problem. I have to do something to help myself, before I can help anybody else. It's a real problem. Have to work on that. There's got to be something I can do. There is, and I'll find it.
Laterz,
David
I think of it more like in 'Logan's Run' where a useful image is provided. The dancers are hanging from wires as they fly up, trying to reach the top, then, 'Kablam!'; each one dies. Haha, I think that is how it is. We just die. When it is our time to go, when our bodies stop working, life exits, and death enters.
Indigo children. Yeah, right. I was an X-Ray Gamma Ray Ultraviolet child, still am in some ways. I see things other than visible light.
I left my keys in my locker after class, and I returned from a shower to my locker, and it was, "Aw, Fuck...!" I thought I'd have to go downstairs in a towel to get someone to cut off my lock, but lucky for me, I found a maintenance man to help me in the locker room.
Some guys should really wear towels in the locker room. Really. It ain't pretty. No wonder why women like to have the lights turned down low, men are ugly. Most of them are, anyhow.
It was a good yoga class, nice and gentle. I feel cleared out, alive, and stretched out. Feels good.
The steam room is essential to clear out the breathing passages. Your brain can't live without enough oxygen, mine can't, anyways.
I'm just gonna sit in my studio all day.
121,712 hits on youtube now. I pretty much started from scratch a year ago. I didn't know what I was doing. I put my toes into the water, and went from there. I've done pretty good so far. I'm happy with how it's gone. I exceeded my own expectations. I didn't know what would happen. My point is that you never know until you try. It turned out to be easier than I thought. It just required a lot of diligence and patience. In the course of a year, I put up about 300 videos.
I'm a little bit more selective about what I put up now. I don't just put up anything. Sometimes it is a video that I think people will like, for example, like a music video, sometimes because it is what I think people need, like 'Genesis Chapter 1 by Robert Crumb.' Othertimes, I feel something I feel inside about a filmed piece, and I say, "Fuck it, I'm gonna put it up, and I don't care what people think."
I'm getting 200-300 hits a day on youtube, so I know people watch, and I know which ones they watch. Most people still don't leave comments of any kind, maybe my videos aren't worth commenting on, or maybe after they watch some of my videos, they have something to say, or they don't want to have their name in my comment section, or they don't want anything to do with me after they watch one of my videos, hahaha.
Anyway, it's a beautiful day.
I'm liking the blog. I have twenty years of writing that is laying around my studio, and that will remain unread, I can barely look at the stuff myself, it is too painful. Knowing that someone will someday read my blog comforts me. It's nice to be read, whether they like it or not is another matter. I'm just trying to be as honest as I can here, and I have nothing to lose by doing that. I've never been particularily good at writing fiction, though some of the things I write about may sound like fiction to other people, I'm not sure.
I haven't played any online games for a couple of days. I go in and out with that. Depends on the day. I usually like to play them when I feel like I've gotten some work done.
Tomorrow night is Magic The Gathering night. We'll see what happens then. It's usually a good time, just hanging out with people I like, that's usually the point of it all.
I've been watching more Carl Sagan videos. I like him. Sad he died so young, but he left an indelible mark on the world. I hope people listen to what he said. We only have one Earth. If we screw up this planet, guess what? There's no other place to go.
The problem with long-term space travel, or suspended animation like you see in Star Trek, would have to be muscle atrophy. Muscles don't work as good if you don't use them. So, years in space asleep? I would guess you would end up like a parapalegic, like people who are in comas for a long time.
I'm liking science more and more. It is easy to watch a chemistry or biology lecture from UC Berkelely on youtube. I don't have to understand it at first. I just absorb. Words and concepts I don't understand, I can always look up.
That's where I am right now, not much more to say, except that I care about my family, and hope they are doing well. Everybody needs money, that's the problem. I have to do something to help myself, before I can help anybody else. It's a real problem. Have to work on that. There's got to be something I can do. There is, and I'll find it.
Laterz,
David
Saturday Morning, 6:37 a.m.
Good morning, just watched two videos. Radiohead: good. Lady Gaga: bad, as if she is trying too hard. I bet if Catpower saw this video, she'd roll her eyes. It was as if Lady Gaga was trying to show how much pain she had. My grandmother would always comment about musicians who 'tried too hard' or showed that they were in pain. That's what she thought about Bono, funny to me now. She came from an era where good musicians made it look easy.
I haven't got any comments on this blog, though I have evidence that people have looked at this blog. It will probably be like my youtube channel, where people watch, but don't leave any comments.
It's like my English teacher who would just write 'good' on everybody's assignment, to show that he had read people's work, but the comment didn't really help anybody, so nobody could figure out what they were supposed to do.
No big deal.
I'll be going to coffee soon. I didn't go out at all last night, nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the bands down here make me numb, and after they leave, I just want to sit in silence and recover my senses.
I'm bummed that Prince doesn't want to be on youtube, because I want to hear his music on youtube. I could buy his music, but that would be no fun, I'd rather see Prince be part of the youtube community, subject to stupid youtube comments like everyone else.
People haven't left too many stupid comments on my stuff yet. I tend to create a feeling of apathy, yet people keep watching my stuff, maybe by accident. Most people look at my videos due to 'related searches' and not because they seek me out.
Who cares? I know I am a pain in the ass to some people.
It's also funny to me that this blog is set to adult, and then in most of my blogs, there is no adult content.
There is one video I'd like to post on this blog, but I don't know if I can. It's called, "How to give a woman a squirting orgasm" on Redtube. Easy to find there. It's an instructional video. Very frank and to the point. The guy uses his hand on her, and demonstrates how to do it. "A woman is like a machine," he says. Anyway, he makes her cum really good, and you've never seen such a happy face on a girl in your life. And then she didn't care about him at all, that's normal, haha.
I'm so glad that children under 18 are protected in this country from evil computer content. Kids are like adults, they watch what they want to watch, and if they aren't allowed to watch the stuff that they want, they'll go to a friend's house.
My mother didn't like me making out with a girl in a car in the driveway after a date. She would flash the porch lights on and off. Some big favor she did to me. There I was, practicing my heterosexuality, and she didn't want me to do that? Crazy bitch. She's dead now, died of gingivitis, she never had enough money to take herself to the dentist all those years. Poor woman. No reason why she shouldn't be alive today. She was always too heavy with her weight, not good on such a short woman. She had problems with low iron in her blood.
I miss my mother sometimes. She was very conservative, and I don't know what good that did anybody, except give something to rebel against.
I'm the third of eight children, so I guess someone could type in 'middle born children' and find an article that applies to me, to see if the shoe fits.
I guess, whether I am popular or not, mostly not, that I am a public figure on the web. I'm not on the A list, B list, or C list. I'm more on the F list, look under the sub-category 'fool'. Haha.
A girl can be on myspace wearing a string in the crack of her ass, but if she takes off the g-string, then it is nudity. Strange.
No point in uploading videos to Facebook. I just post them from youtube onto Facebook.
Myspace is a ghost town to me. All of my friends are on Facebook. It would be funny to start doing myspace again, and try and build an audience there, with new people. I started not to be a user of myspace after all the spam, but they do have the best chatbox in town, which I still use sometimes.
Time for coffee.
I haven't got any comments on this blog, though I have evidence that people have looked at this blog. It will probably be like my youtube channel, where people watch, but don't leave any comments.
It's like my English teacher who would just write 'good' on everybody's assignment, to show that he had read people's work, but the comment didn't really help anybody, so nobody could figure out what they were supposed to do.
No big deal.
I'll be going to coffee soon. I didn't go out at all last night, nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the bands down here make me numb, and after they leave, I just want to sit in silence and recover my senses.
I'm bummed that Prince doesn't want to be on youtube, because I want to hear his music on youtube. I could buy his music, but that would be no fun, I'd rather see Prince be part of the youtube community, subject to stupid youtube comments like everyone else.
People haven't left too many stupid comments on my stuff yet. I tend to create a feeling of apathy, yet people keep watching my stuff, maybe by accident. Most people look at my videos due to 'related searches' and not because they seek me out.
Who cares? I know I am a pain in the ass to some people.
It's also funny to me that this blog is set to adult, and then in most of my blogs, there is no adult content.
There is one video I'd like to post on this blog, but I don't know if I can. It's called, "How to give a woman a squirting orgasm" on Redtube. Easy to find there. It's an instructional video. Very frank and to the point. The guy uses his hand on her, and demonstrates how to do it. "A woman is like a machine," he says. Anyway, he makes her cum really good, and you've never seen such a happy face on a girl in your life. And then she didn't care about him at all, that's normal, haha.
I'm so glad that children under 18 are protected in this country from evil computer content. Kids are like adults, they watch what they want to watch, and if they aren't allowed to watch the stuff that they want, they'll go to a friend's house.
My mother didn't like me making out with a girl in a car in the driveway after a date. She would flash the porch lights on and off. Some big favor she did to me. There I was, practicing my heterosexuality, and she didn't want me to do that? Crazy bitch. She's dead now, died of gingivitis, she never had enough money to take herself to the dentist all those years. Poor woman. No reason why she shouldn't be alive today. She was always too heavy with her weight, not good on such a short woman. She had problems with low iron in her blood.
I miss my mother sometimes. She was very conservative, and I don't know what good that did anybody, except give something to rebel against.
I'm the third of eight children, so I guess someone could type in 'middle born children' and find an article that applies to me, to see if the shoe fits.
I guess, whether I am popular or not, mostly not, that I am a public figure on the web. I'm not on the A list, B list, or C list. I'm more on the F list, look under the sub-category 'fool'. Haha.
A girl can be on myspace wearing a string in the crack of her ass, but if she takes off the g-string, then it is nudity. Strange.
No point in uploading videos to Facebook. I just post them from youtube onto Facebook.
Myspace is a ghost town to me. All of my friends are on Facebook. It would be funny to start doing myspace again, and try and build an audience there, with new people. I started not to be a user of myspace after all the spam, but they do have the best chatbox in town, which I still use sometimes.
Time for coffee.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday Night, 8:54
The band is still going at it. Luckily, I am fortunate to have figured out to hook my computer through speakers onward through my guitar amp. It's been very useful to drown out my neighbors.
It's a creative place down here in the basement. There are several studios. Some for bands, some for other artists, who come and go. It's always about money.
The bands have actually caused some artists to leave, or money limitations.
It does get difficult to listen to these bands, especially when they don't have much talent, but they have the egos.
I've met really talented musicians. Many are very humble about their talents. That is why they are good. They know they can always do better, so they move ahead of the people who get stuck on themselves.
It was another day where I got slightly disturbed by my oldest brother. I don't know why I keep contacting him if he upsets me so much. I must be a sicko for pain.
Meanwhile, I typed in 'first born' into Google, and there was an article that said that most oldest siblings have higher IQ's than the younger ones. Is it true in this case? Is my oldest brother smarter than me by several IQ points? He seems to be very word oriented with his speech, and maybe that was his way he tried to control us, because it was always an unfun power struggle with the siblings, over nothing in retrospect; but, from what I can tell, I write more than him. Who is to say? Maybe he is smarter in some ways, maybe I'm smarter in others.
I don't believe he has seen God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost, Moses, and Joseph Smith. He will not repudiate these claims. If he actually did, every news organization on the planet should interview him. But, Moses did not visit him, therefore, he shouldn't be interviewed that Vikings from Saturn visited him. He might as well throw that in.
I can write whatever I want, it's my blog.
I'm continuing my watching of Carl Sagan videos, that has been going on for some time. I love Carl. He is very clear and easy to understand. Science was my worst subject, hands down, I think. I just don't have a knack for it, but I love what is discussed in Science. I'm fascinated.
My knowledge of Chemistry is nil. Physics,...uh...I have a lot of reading to do.
As an artist, it's my job to continually expand my knowledge base. The Universe is expanding, I might as well, too.
I'm sorry about writing about my brother, kind of, sort of. I didn't mention his name. I don't think that would be fair. I could, because I am telling the truth of my experiences as if I was on the stand in a court of law. I'm not good at lying. People can see it on my face, and honesty is the best policy.
So let's suppose that my oldest brother is smarter than me. Then, because I am not so bright, I write this blog. Therefore, I can't be blamed.
I'm the third oldest. I might as well lay out all the cards on the table, after all, I have nothing to lose.
Thank god, the bands have stopped, maybe I can hear myself think. It 's very disorienting to be bombarded by noise of a lesser quality. Might as well have some construction workers next door, it sounds about the same.
These musicians make me miserable. I do leave at times to escape them. It's the repetition and the loudness that drives me crazy. They play loud at every opportunity, even when one musician is in there rehearsing. They must get pleasure from turning up the amp.
Silence? What is that? I am experiencing it now. Wow. It's really nice, but my ears are still buzzing.
I've written for years, and I might as well write it in a blog, a bunch of crap, I don't care. I might as well over-blog, because I don't think anybody will read this anytime soon, I'll be surprised as hell if they do, much less comment. Hardly anyone comments on anything I do, even the oldest brother barely commented on the video I made. I can expect reactions such as this from my family, kind of reserved, with no analysis or helpful comments. That is just what I can expect, but life goes on.
I'm in some kind of mood right now, not sure what kind. I'm listening to Carl Sagan talk about pseudo-science, but hey, my oldest brother loves that kind of crap. He'd rather believe that Moses visited him, than discussing something that is real, that we can both see.
I want to ask my brother, "Is the sky blue?" I might get an answer that leads to discussion about Ancient Greece, and some demi-god or something.
I had it easy. I had two older brothers, and I watched what they would do, and I'd just do it the opposite, or I found anything I could do, to separate and distinguish myself from them. Didn't always work. Some family traits and habits can't be modified too much.
"A Demon Haunted World" by Carl Sagan. That sounds like a good book. I'd like to read that. In the book, Carl Sagan dismisses pseudo-science.
I'm not a fan of astrology. Makes no sense to me, even as a game. Seems like nowadays, they use popular key words and phrases for their readers. Astrology is part of the system of control, as far as I am concerned, part of The Matrix that has been constructed for us, which basically benefits about 1% of the population.
Where am I going with all this? I'm in an exploratory mood. Hey, I'm not a writer, never said I was. I know I just enjoy writing. The keyboard is marvelous for producing a lot of words at the rate my mind thinks them. Better than the typewriter or with a hand-held pen. Though, with a pen, I think about what I am going to write more. Here, the faucet is just turned on, and out it pours.
I didn't want to write about my brother. It's a painful subject. I doubt he will ever read this. I don't care if he does. I haven't said anything bad. It's his life, he can do what he wants. I'm just trying to get to a point where I don't get disturbed by him, don't know if that is possible. He believes in the existence of invisible things as if they were an apple placed on a table right in front of you.
We were raised Mormon, that's part of the problem. Lots of first person narratives going on there, haha. I try to keep an open mind, I haven't been to church except for once in twenty years. I don't miss going to church, or hearing the songs they sing. I don't miss any of it. I don't pray, I stopped doing that long ago. There's an activity that doesn't do anything. I have brothers who pray, and I don't, I don't see that their lives are any better or worse, so what is the point? Praying is actually something you do to yourself, because there is no one to hear a prayer. Everybody's got their own prayer to improve their own life. God has a bunch of hungry puppies and kittens on his hands in the form of humans. He would hear us, I suppose, if he existed.
Hey, if you don't like what I say, or how I think, don't read this blog, is all I can say.
It's a creative place down here in the basement. There are several studios. Some for bands, some for other artists, who come and go. It's always about money.
The bands have actually caused some artists to leave, or money limitations.
It does get difficult to listen to these bands, especially when they don't have much talent, but they have the egos.
I've met really talented musicians. Many are very humble about their talents. That is why they are good. They know they can always do better, so they move ahead of the people who get stuck on themselves.
It was another day where I got slightly disturbed by my oldest brother. I don't know why I keep contacting him if he upsets me so much. I must be a sicko for pain.
Meanwhile, I typed in 'first born' into Google, and there was an article that said that most oldest siblings have higher IQ's than the younger ones. Is it true in this case? Is my oldest brother smarter than me by several IQ points? He seems to be very word oriented with his speech, and maybe that was his way he tried to control us, because it was always an unfun power struggle with the siblings, over nothing in retrospect; but, from what I can tell, I write more than him. Who is to say? Maybe he is smarter in some ways, maybe I'm smarter in others.
I don't believe he has seen God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost, Moses, and Joseph Smith. He will not repudiate these claims. If he actually did, every news organization on the planet should interview him. But, Moses did not visit him, therefore, he shouldn't be interviewed that Vikings from Saturn visited him. He might as well throw that in.
I can write whatever I want, it's my blog.
I'm continuing my watching of Carl Sagan videos, that has been going on for some time. I love Carl. He is very clear and easy to understand. Science was my worst subject, hands down, I think. I just don't have a knack for it, but I love what is discussed in Science. I'm fascinated.
My knowledge of Chemistry is nil. Physics,...uh...I have a lot of reading to do.
As an artist, it's my job to continually expand my knowledge base. The Universe is expanding, I might as well, too.
I'm sorry about writing about my brother, kind of, sort of. I didn't mention his name. I don't think that would be fair. I could, because I am telling the truth of my experiences as if I was on the stand in a court of law. I'm not good at lying. People can see it on my face, and honesty is the best policy.
So let's suppose that my oldest brother is smarter than me. Then, because I am not so bright, I write this blog. Therefore, I can't be blamed.
I'm the third oldest. I might as well lay out all the cards on the table, after all, I have nothing to lose.
Thank god, the bands have stopped, maybe I can hear myself think. It 's very disorienting to be bombarded by noise of a lesser quality. Might as well have some construction workers next door, it sounds about the same.
These musicians make me miserable. I do leave at times to escape them. It's the repetition and the loudness that drives me crazy. They play loud at every opportunity, even when one musician is in there rehearsing. They must get pleasure from turning up the amp.
Silence? What is that? I am experiencing it now. Wow. It's really nice, but my ears are still buzzing.
I've written for years, and I might as well write it in a blog, a bunch of crap, I don't care. I might as well over-blog, because I don't think anybody will read this anytime soon, I'll be surprised as hell if they do, much less comment. Hardly anyone comments on anything I do, even the oldest brother barely commented on the video I made. I can expect reactions such as this from my family, kind of reserved, with no analysis or helpful comments. That is just what I can expect, but life goes on.
I'm in some kind of mood right now, not sure what kind. I'm listening to Carl Sagan talk about pseudo-science, but hey, my oldest brother loves that kind of crap. He'd rather believe that Moses visited him, than discussing something that is real, that we can both see.
I want to ask my brother, "Is the sky blue?" I might get an answer that leads to discussion about Ancient Greece, and some demi-god or something.
I had it easy. I had two older brothers, and I watched what they would do, and I'd just do it the opposite, or I found anything I could do, to separate and distinguish myself from them. Didn't always work. Some family traits and habits can't be modified too much.
"A Demon Haunted World" by Carl Sagan. That sounds like a good book. I'd like to read that. In the book, Carl Sagan dismisses pseudo-science.
I'm not a fan of astrology. Makes no sense to me, even as a game. Seems like nowadays, they use popular key words and phrases for their readers. Astrology is part of the system of control, as far as I am concerned, part of The Matrix that has been constructed for us, which basically benefits about 1% of the population.
Where am I going with all this? I'm in an exploratory mood. Hey, I'm not a writer, never said I was. I know I just enjoy writing. The keyboard is marvelous for producing a lot of words at the rate my mind thinks them. Better than the typewriter or with a hand-held pen. Though, with a pen, I think about what I am going to write more. Here, the faucet is just turned on, and out it pours.
I didn't want to write about my brother. It's a painful subject. I doubt he will ever read this. I don't care if he does. I haven't said anything bad. It's his life, he can do what he wants. I'm just trying to get to a point where I don't get disturbed by him, don't know if that is possible. He believes in the existence of invisible things as if they were an apple placed on a table right in front of you.
We were raised Mormon, that's part of the problem. Lots of first person narratives going on there, haha. I try to keep an open mind, I haven't been to church except for once in twenty years. I don't miss going to church, or hearing the songs they sing. I don't miss any of it. I don't pray, I stopped doing that long ago. There's an activity that doesn't do anything. I have brothers who pray, and I don't, I don't see that their lives are any better or worse, so what is the point? Praying is actually something you do to yourself, because there is no one to hear a prayer. Everybody's got their own prayer to improve their own life. God has a bunch of hungry puppies and kittens on his hands in the form of humans. He would hear us, I suppose, if he existed.
Hey, if you don't like what I say, or how I think, don't read this blog, is all I can say.
Friday
Another fucked up day. I haven't done much. Not yet.
I just endured several hours of bad 'music', or whatever it is the bands describe what it is they are doing. It sounds like they listened to a bunch of stuff from the 90's, and are trying to emulate that. One band tries to sound like Soundgarden, but their vocalist doesn't have the range or vocal strength, so I don't know why they bother. Nothing wrong with having music as a hobby. Just unfortunate that I have to listen to these people in their twenties who probably picked up a guitar two or three years ago. I wish them luck, and success, because then they will move away, or go on tour or something, and burn out, doing whatever they want to do, and hopefully it will be a long way away from me.
I've talked a little bit to the drummer a couple of times. He seems the kind of guy who would be in a Daniel Clowes comic book.
Fuck. I have to change the title of this blog. 'Davidia' is used by other people.
I just endured several hours of bad 'music', or whatever it is the bands describe what it is they are doing. It sounds like they listened to a bunch of stuff from the 90's, and are trying to emulate that. One band tries to sound like Soundgarden, but their vocalist doesn't have the range or vocal strength, so I don't know why they bother. Nothing wrong with having music as a hobby. Just unfortunate that I have to listen to these people in their twenties who probably picked up a guitar two or three years ago. I wish them luck, and success, because then they will move away, or go on tour or something, and burn out, doing whatever they want to do, and hopefully it will be a long way away from me.
I've talked a little bit to the drummer a couple of times. He seems the kind of guy who would be in a Daniel Clowes comic book.
Fuck. I have to change the title of this blog. 'Davidia' is used by other people.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Battlestar Galactica: Mad World
The #1 video to ease the pain that Battlestar Galactica is over. This version of the Tears For Fears song was originally from Donnie Darko which came out after 9/11, so no one saw it. Ironically, President Rosyln is in that movie.
****
As good a title as anything.
Fuck. I love to say that word. It's so useful and poignant. Luckily, my blog is set to adult, so I can say the word 'fuck'. I hear it everyday outside. Every fucking day.
I live in The Mission, in San Francisco, and I hear a lot of other things, too.
I attended jr. high and high school in Bountiful, Utah. Mormon Central, 90% L.D.S., and you never heard so much cussing in the hallways in your life. I bet it is still the same now, and then these kids go to church on Sunday. It's true, I lived through that nonsense. Bunch of hypocrasy, I'd hear kids talking about the blowjob they got over the week-end, then I'd see them in church, with a shit-eating guilty smile, haha.
I was no better, and I felt better when I finally bailed on the church, it just didn't make sense to me, and I was conflicted, and I haven't gone back, except for one exception, as a favor. ( I was there for an hour, I couldn't stand it. )
Fuck.
Am I allowed to swear on Blogger? I'm not even sure. If Howard Stern can swear on satellite radio, I don't know why I can't do it here.
Everyone does it. Bono has said 'fuck' on live t.v. before.
'A Catcher In The Rye' prints the word 'fuck' six times, and that book is read in high school.
I have my kirkindysolospock channel on youtube. I just created the DavidLovins67 channel. Haha, it's serious now. I am creating myself as a corporate entity, in my own way, of course. The first channel is my 'youtuber' channel, where I do what 'youtubers' do, which is pretty fun, don't want to give that up. The new channel will feature entirely original content where I own the copyright on everything. Have to do it if I ever want to make a single penny with adsense. Making videos, getting paid sounds good, though I know it might take a long time. Also, they don't take many more youtube people for adsense anymore, but if I do some good work, maybe they will take me. You never know unless you try, and I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Why the fuck not? It's my only chance to do anything in this world, and have my work seen. Who wouldn't want that?
I'm having a good day today, though I am a little pissed for some reason, but it is a good feeling of being pissed. I just want to make something happen in my life, you know what I mean? I've been in art galleries, I've shown my work, I've sold work in cafes, I've done a lot of art in the last twenty years, but to have most of it never be seen, well, that sucks.
I figure at this point, I have one good blog in me a day that I can pour out. I don't have much more I want to say in one day than what I do in one blog. Sometimes other ideas may come, and if it is good, I'll blog again. I'm new to this blog thing anyway, and I don't expect much from it. I know that people will eventually read this, though knowing my audience, most people don't leave any comments, and I don't expect them to. I get a lot of silence as a response to my work in the last twenty years, and a lot of people have stolen my ideas, haha, or used, or borrowed them, which irks me a little, but nothing I can do about it. Sometimes it is flattery. The best artists flat out steal, Picasso did that a lot, going into people's studios, and stealing their ideas, and doing it his way.
It's how it works sometimes in the real world. Ask Andy Warhol, and he died with with over $250,000,000 to his name? Not sure, but I know The Andy Warhol Foundation is loaded today.
Right now, I'm listening to a band practice, and I'm tired of this band. I don't think they are that good. At best, what they do is 'cute'. The harmonies of the girls singing I like the best, they sound like angels sometimes, but mostly I call them 'The Crying Kittens Band' which I think is a great name for them. It fits.
I'm happy that I have a new youtube channel. I was thinking about the original content I was gonna put up, and when I have to, I'll find some copyright free music to put along with it. I like old music anyhow, it will work.
Bush, both father and son, probably thought they were in a movie during their presidencies.
Fuck. I love to say that word. It's so useful and poignant. Luckily, my blog is set to adult, so I can say the word 'fuck'. I hear it everyday outside. Every fucking day.
I live in The Mission, in San Francisco, and I hear a lot of other things, too.
I attended jr. high and high school in Bountiful, Utah. Mormon Central, 90% L.D.S., and you never heard so much cussing in the hallways in your life. I bet it is still the same now, and then these kids go to church on Sunday. It's true, I lived through that nonsense. Bunch of hypocrasy, I'd hear kids talking about the blowjob they got over the week-end, then I'd see them in church, with a shit-eating guilty smile, haha.
I was no better, and I felt better when I finally bailed on the church, it just didn't make sense to me, and I was conflicted, and I haven't gone back, except for one exception, as a favor. ( I was there for an hour, I couldn't stand it. )
Fuck.
Am I allowed to swear on Blogger? I'm not even sure. If Howard Stern can swear on satellite radio, I don't know why I can't do it here.
Everyone does it. Bono has said 'fuck' on live t.v. before.
'A Catcher In The Rye' prints the word 'fuck' six times, and that book is read in high school.
I have my kirkindysolospock channel on youtube. I just created the DavidLovins67 channel. Haha, it's serious now. I am creating myself as a corporate entity, in my own way, of course. The first channel is my 'youtuber' channel, where I do what 'youtubers' do, which is pretty fun, don't want to give that up. The new channel will feature entirely original content where I own the copyright on everything. Have to do it if I ever want to make a single penny with adsense. Making videos, getting paid sounds good, though I know it might take a long time. Also, they don't take many more youtube people for adsense anymore, but if I do some good work, maybe they will take me. You never know unless you try, and I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Why the fuck not? It's my only chance to do anything in this world, and have my work seen. Who wouldn't want that?
I'm having a good day today, though I am a little pissed for some reason, but it is a good feeling of being pissed. I just want to make something happen in my life, you know what I mean? I've been in art galleries, I've shown my work, I've sold work in cafes, I've done a lot of art in the last twenty years, but to have most of it never be seen, well, that sucks.
I figure at this point, I have one good blog in me a day that I can pour out. I don't have much more I want to say in one day than what I do in one blog. Sometimes other ideas may come, and if it is good, I'll blog again. I'm new to this blog thing anyway, and I don't expect much from it. I know that people will eventually read this, though knowing my audience, most people don't leave any comments, and I don't expect them to. I get a lot of silence as a response to my work in the last twenty years, and a lot of people have stolen my ideas, haha, or used, or borrowed them, which irks me a little, but nothing I can do about it. Sometimes it is flattery. The best artists flat out steal, Picasso did that a lot, going into people's studios, and stealing their ideas, and doing it his way.
It's how it works sometimes in the real world. Ask Andy Warhol, and he died with with over $250,000,000 to his name? Not sure, but I know The Andy Warhol Foundation is loaded today.
Right now, I'm listening to a band practice, and I'm tired of this band. I don't think they are that good. At best, what they do is 'cute'. The harmonies of the girls singing I like the best, they sound like angels sometimes, but mostly I call them 'The Crying Kittens Band' which I think is a great name for them. It fits.
I'm happy that I have a new youtube channel. I was thinking about the original content I was gonna put up, and when I have to, I'll find some copyright free music to put along with it. I like old music anyhow, it will work.
Bush, both father and son, probably thought they were in a movie during their presidencies.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Jules "Jay" Maynard Lovins
Hi. I'm David, his third son. Feel free to leave notes or comments if you knew him, or are seeking information.
Wednesday
I found a penny on the ground, more than I have made with Google adsense so far. Haha, you never know what will happen. I'm optimistic. I'm just wondering what I have to do to register that first penny. I'm looking into it, watching tutorial videos, doing research, and it all takes time. I have plenty of time, so that's good.
I seem to have this blog linked up to my adsense, but haven't quite figured out what to do with youtube except to keep making more videos, and having a good time doing that. I do like youtube very much. They've given me an outlet and a place to do what I want to. Many people have seen my art as a result of youtube. I like that very much. However, do people make money from youtube based on how many hits they get? I can't seem to link up my youtube to adsense, or if it even works that way, or what. I know you get paid eventually if people click enough on your stuff that have ads on them, etc.
Anyway, so I'm thinking about adsense. It is part of an eight(8)year attempt to try and make money on the computer since I first bought this laptop. ( My god, has it been eight years? This laptop, an hp pavilion ze4115 still works like a dream, it's been such a good machine. Had to pay $150 once to fix the hard drive, but besides that, the functionality has been flawless. ) I was hoping in between the online games and other things I do on the computer, that making money would be one of my online activities. No dice yet. I did get paid $20 for a University survey through my school, so that was nice. I'd do that four times a day if I could, haha.
To continue, I made a comic book page at the cafe, shot a video of it, and put it on youtube today. It's called 'David age 6'. I've already gotten hits on it. Nice. I enjoy drawing comics, I've done it since I was little. Not much point in doing it in the last couple of years except as a hobby. Haven't found a publisher yet, and one of the reasons is I haven't tried too hard to find one. But to self-publish on youtube is great. At least I get my work out there, and that is a big accomplishment.
'Every Man For Himself'. I've been thinking about that phrase recently. No one can do it except me. And with youtube, you have to keep plugging away at it. You are competing with everyone else, including yourself. No one is going to do it for me, I have to do it for myself.
I liked that thing about Walt Whitman, that he had to want himself as a poet, before anyone else wanted him. I've kept that in mind as an artist for years. It's worked, because I am still making art every day.
I chuckle to myself, because even though no one is reading this blog now, they may later. That's what happened with youtube. No one was watching what I did, but they are now. Not many leave me messages or notes, so I don't know what people think, all I know is I keep getting hits. 120,500 so far. That's in one year after starting from scratch pretty late in the game. Youtube has been a joy, once I figured out what was going on. I watched 3000 videos before I ever put up one. I wanted to test the waters before I jumped into the pool. It's worked out pretty well for me. I had fun, and I never gave up. Formula for success right there.
Success doesn't always have to be about money, maybe it shouldn't be about it at all. Money should be a side-effect of success, not the goal. But yeah, it would be nice to get enough scratch to pay the bills.
I actually have to reconsider some things. I'm pretty prolific as an artist, and I have a nice studio space, but I've filled this one up. I need to get more studio space, and it isn't as if I can just throw my art away. So recently, I've been working on smaller pieces, because they don't take up much room. Videos only take up space on my hard drive, but even that is a little cluttered.
Anyway, I'm having a good time, and that is something.
An excellent yoga class today. My teacher today is very funny and intelligent.
I don't want to mention any names of people I know in my blog. Doesn't seem right, unless I make up fictional names for them. There's no reason to talk about anyone else, except in those rare occasions when I need to. I'll figure out something if that day comes.
If I say, "Hello, Jaja Girl," there is only one person in this world that would apply to, that's just an example of what I would do if I had to talk about someone without mentioning their name.
Let's see, what else is there to talk about? Still trying to get Lord of the Rings Online to work. I have to go through technical e-mails, and go through all the help instructions again. Might be something that I may have missed to make the game work. We'll see.
I plan to do some painting soon. I've had good sessions while listening to Glenn Gould videos on youtube. My computer is hooked up to my guitar amp, so I get some pretty incredibly good sound here in my art studio.
Yeah, someone will read this someday. I know that, because people are nosy by nature, haha.
I seem to have this blog linked up to my adsense, but haven't quite figured out what to do with youtube except to keep making more videos, and having a good time doing that. I do like youtube very much. They've given me an outlet and a place to do what I want to. Many people have seen my art as a result of youtube. I like that very much. However, do people make money from youtube based on how many hits they get? I can't seem to link up my youtube to adsense, or if it even works that way, or what. I know you get paid eventually if people click enough on your stuff that have ads on them, etc.
Anyway, so I'm thinking about adsense. It is part of an eight(8)year attempt to try and make money on the computer since I first bought this laptop. ( My god, has it been eight years? This laptop, an hp pavilion ze4115 still works like a dream, it's been such a good machine. Had to pay $150 once to fix the hard drive, but besides that, the functionality has been flawless. ) I was hoping in between the online games and other things I do on the computer, that making money would be one of my online activities. No dice yet. I did get paid $20 for a University survey through my school, so that was nice. I'd do that four times a day if I could, haha.
To continue, I made a comic book page at the cafe, shot a video of it, and put it on youtube today. It's called 'David age 6'. I've already gotten hits on it. Nice. I enjoy drawing comics, I've done it since I was little. Not much point in doing it in the last couple of years except as a hobby. Haven't found a publisher yet, and one of the reasons is I haven't tried too hard to find one. But to self-publish on youtube is great. At least I get my work out there, and that is a big accomplishment.
'Every Man For Himself'. I've been thinking about that phrase recently. No one can do it except me. And with youtube, you have to keep plugging away at it. You are competing with everyone else, including yourself. No one is going to do it for me, I have to do it for myself.
I liked that thing about Walt Whitman, that he had to want himself as a poet, before anyone else wanted him. I've kept that in mind as an artist for years. It's worked, because I am still making art every day.
I chuckle to myself, because even though no one is reading this blog now, they may later. That's what happened with youtube. No one was watching what I did, but they are now. Not many leave me messages or notes, so I don't know what people think, all I know is I keep getting hits. 120,500 so far. That's in one year after starting from scratch pretty late in the game. Youtube has been a joy, once I figured out what was going on. I watched 3000 videos before I ever put up one. I wanted to test the waters before I jumped into the pool. It's worked out pretty well for me. I had fun, and I never gave up. Formula for success right there.
Success doesn't always have to be about money, maybe it shouldn't be about it at all. Money should be a side-effect of success, not the goal. But yeah, it would be nice to get enough scratch to pay the bills.
I actually have to reconsider some things. I'm pretty prolific as an artist, and I have a nice studio space, but I've filled this one up. I need to get more studio space, and it isn't as if I can just throw my art away. So recently, I've been working on smaller pieces, because they don't take up much room. Videos only take up space on my hard drive, but even that is a little cluttered.
Anyway, I'm having a good time, and that is something.
An excellent yoga class today. My teacher today is very funny and intelligent.
I don't want to mention any names of people I know in my blog. Doesn't seem right, unless I make up fictional names for them. There's no reason to talk about anyone else, except in those rare occasions when I need to. I'll figure out something if that day comes.
If I say, "Hello, Jaja Girl," there is only one person in this world that would apply to, that's just an example of what I would do if I had to talk about someone without mentioning their name.
Let's see, what else is there to talk about? Still trying to get Lord of the Rings Online to work. I have to go through technical e-mails, and go through all the help instructions again. Might be something that I may have missed to make the game work. We'll see.
I plan to do some painting soon. I've had good sessions while listening to Glenn Gould videos on youtube. My computer is hooked up to my guitar amp, so I get some pretty incredibly good sound here in my art studio.
Yeah, someone will read this someday. I know that, because people are nosy by nature, haha.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Nothing.
"Fuck".
Glad I got that out of my system.
It is nice to be able to say what the hell I want.
I find that most people swear, so I don't see what the big deal is, yet, I know I have to use polite language on Youtube and Facebook. I guess the consideration is that people under 18 shouldn't be seeing people swear, though, I learned to swear quite well by the time I was 18. Maybe it is because so many mothers get their panties in a bunch over morals or something, god knows what. It's as if once they become moms that they think they have to become conservative. I don't get it, impossible to understand anyway, so 'fuck it'.
I'm drinking a beer right now. Sounds like the thing to do.
I don't know who will read this. Someone, eventually. Hahahaha.
Anyway, I had a good day today. Coffeeshop time, yoga, more coffee, and then we had our Magic The Gathering session. I came out well again tonight.
My youtube channel is going well, I've spent a lot of time on it in the last couple of days, to try and make it better. Getting there, takes time.
It would be great to actually make money with it. As of this writing, since I am set up with adsense now, I am hoping to make my first penny. I can't wait until it actually registers one (1) cent earned.
I think about my family a lot, same as ever. I'd write about them, but I don't know if they'd like it. I'm wondering if that should be my problem, haha.
I have this 'fat lipped hog' piggy bank hanging from the ceiling in my art studio. I used it in a video the other day. I want to do more with this pig. I have this whole thing about pigs that I am developing as a hobby. Takes time.
Let's see, what to talk about? I've thought about writing about the YMCA a little. It's still a little creepy in the locker room, I see guys checking out to see who is going in and out of the showers. A couple of guys soap themselves up with too much lather, and that looks creepy. Then, given a chance to walk around with a towel with some class and dignity, they run around naked like little boys. I guess that a lot of men are, just grown up boys, but I've seen enough male nudity, it doesn't interest me much. Ugh.
I like women, I like their bodies. I like their spirits. I don't bother them much, I just want women to be happy. Sometimes, I can't help but look at them, some women are just so goddamn beautiful, I can't stand it. But I like all kinds of women. I'm not that picky, if a woman wants to hang out with me.
I'm 42 now, and still good for the go, but women have a different thing going on at 42 than I do, at least from what I can tell. I might as well be with someone five to ten years younger. I would date an older woman, if she was the right gal, and still had a twinkle in her eye. I've been attracted to women in their 40's. As an artist drawing from the figure for twenty years, I've seen it all, but I'm still amazed by the variety of subtle, intriguing differences.
At this point, I'm finding that there are more similarities between men and women than there are differences.
One thing about this blog is the freedom to say that I don't care about 'The Grateful Dead'. I wouldn't dare post that as a Facebook post, because I know several people who are into them. When I hear them, I just don't feel like it is much of anything. Sounds kind of amateur to me, as if nothing special is going on, except a lot of people getting high in the audience. I even saw the actual 60's movie where they got the idea for The Grateful Dead, and it went on for too long, until my head caved in.
I love San Francisco, though, and I am glad I am here. It's gorgeous.
This blog is the only thing I have on the web where I feel completely free at this point, since it is set to 'adult', and I don't have to worry about not offending anyone. I know if someone doesn't want to read this, they don't have to, and they can just play tiddlywinks or something.
I like Charles Bukowski a lot, if that helps. I can relate to him.
Glad I got that out of my system.
It is nice to be able to say what the hell I want.
I find that most people swear, so I don't see what the big deal is, yet, I know I have to use polite language on Youtube and Facebook. I guess the consideration is that people under 18 shouldn't be seeing people swear, though, I learned to swear quite well by the time I was 18. Maybe it is because so many mothers get their panties in a bunch over morals or something, god knows what. It's as if once they become moms that they think they have to become conservative. I don't get it, impossible to understand anyway, so 'fuck it'.
I'm drinking a beer right now. Sounds like the thing to do.
I don't know who will read this. Someone, eventually. Hahahaha.
Anyway, I had a good day today. Coffeeshop time, yoga, more coffee, and then we had our Magic The Gathering session. I came out well again tonight.
My youtube channel is going well, I've spent a lot of time on it in the last couple of days, to try and make it better. Getting there, takes time.
It would be great to actually make money with it. As of this writing, since I am set up with adsense now, I am hoping to make my first penny. I can't wait until it actually registers one (1) cent earned.
I think about my family a lot, same as ever. I'd write about them, but I don't know if they'd like it. I'm wondering if that should be my problem, haha.
I have this 'fat lipped hog' piggy bank hanging from the ceiling in my art studio. I used it in a video the other day. I want to do more with this pig. I have this whole thing about pigs that I am developing as a hobby. Takes time.
Let's see, what to talk about? I've thought about writing about the YMCA a little. It's still a little creepy in the locker room, I see guys checking out to see who is going in and out of the showers. A couple of guys soap themselves up with too much lather, and that looks creepy. Then, given a chance to walk around with a towel with some class and dignity, they run around naked like little boys. I guess that a lot of men are, just grown up boys, but I've seen enough male nudity, it doesn't interest me much. Ugh.
I like women, I like their bodies. I like their spirits. I don't bother them much, I just want women to be happy. Sometimes, I can't help but look at them, some women are just so goddamn beautiful, I can't stand it. But I like all kinds of women. I'm not that picky, if a woman wants to hang out with me.
I'm 42 now, and still good for the go, but women have a different thing going on at 42 than I do, at least from what I can tell. I might as well be with someone five to ten years younger. I would date an older woman, if she was the right gal, and still had a twinkle in her eye. I've been attracted to women in their 40's. As an artist drawing from the figure for twenty years, I've seen it all, but I'm still amazed by the variety of subtle, intriguing differences.
At this point, I'm finding that there are more similarities between men and women than there are differences.
One thing about this blog is the freedom to say that I don't care about 'The Grateful Dead'. I wouldn't dare post that as a Facebook post, because I know several people who are into them. When I hear them, I just don't feel like it is much of anything. Sounds kind of amateur to me, as if nothing special is going on, except a lot of people getting high in the audience. I even saw the actual 60's movie where they got the idea for The Grateful Dead, and it went on for too long, until my head caved in.
I love San Francisco, though, and I am glad I am here. It's gorgeous.
This blog is the only thing I have on the web where I feel completely free at this point, since it is set to 'adult', and I don't have to worry about not offending anyone. I know if someone doesn't want to read this, they don't have to, and they can just play tiddlywinks or something.
I like Charles Bukowski a lot, if that helps. I can relate to him.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Up Since 3 a.m.
I was thrilled and excited about EverQuest 2. My character 'Alaana' was in The Commonlands, and discovered they have a shuttle transport system using a flying griffon. I filmed it, and made a video, which I put on youtube entitled, "Winged Flight On A Griffon". I put in a couple of touches, and I like the results. But to able to fly on the back of a bird on an online game was incredible.
Also of note, is that I was standing on the beach, and the water of the ocean was moving up and down. I had never seen that in a video game before, I was impressed. I know how hard it is to program stuff like that. It was a marvel to see.
I have seen the entire evolution of video games in my life, from a Pong table top machine in 1973 at a Shakey's Pizza is Southern California to the online gaming phenomena. From then to now is incredible progress. We could only dream in the 80's of playing a game even remotely similar to Dungeons & Dragons, and now they have that game online, for free, and the game play is pretty unique, and the dungeons I'm really impressed with. It's the 'wow factor' these days. It makes me happy to be alive to see all this stuff.
Then finally, after a year, I figured out how to get the adsense to work on my youtube account. It wasn't hard. I just had to be of clear mind, and figure out where to even look. I'm looking forward to seeing how long it will take to make my first penny, my first dollar, and my first $10. That will be incredible, if anything happens at all. I'm curious to what the top youtubers make per month, but many people make $500 - $800 a month on youtube. That is incredible. Beats working. I'd love to make that kind of bank from youtube, and sit at home all day making videos and art. Sounds like a good life. I do that anyway, but to get paid for it would be awesome.
I did get a $20 check from filling out some survey through my school. To make any money online is an accomplishment. I'm still trying to pay off what it cost for my two computers. I bought them hoping to make money to justify spending that much money on these machines. Now I can't live without them, I wouldn't want to. Life wouldn't be as fun. I always have something to do with the computers around, they are very useful tools.
That would be cool to make money from blogging, too. I have so much writing that I've done over the last twenty years, maybe it is time for people to actually read what I have written. A lot of it is diary and journal work, but it is the document of my life and work. My writing has been one of my best friends.
So I'm excited about online games, thrilled about the possibilities of making money with youtube; when it shows that I have made one red penny, I will be stoked.
Why aren't I in bed asleep? Because it is fun to stay up half the night.
I was so thrilled with what I was seeing online, I didn't even bother to go out, even though it was a Saturday night. What was I going to do, have a drink, look at a couple of women, and go home? I did that the night before.
Also of note, is that I was standing on the beach, and the water of the ocean was moving up and down. I had never seen that in a video game before, I was impressed. I know how hard it is to program stuff like that. It was a marvel to see.
I have seen the entire evolution of video games in my life, from a Pong table top machine in 1973 at a Shakey's Pizza is Southern California to the online gaming phenomena. From then to now is incredible progress. We could only dream in the 80's of playing a game even remotely similar to Dungeons & Dragons, and now they have that game online, for free, and the game play is pretty unique, and the dungeons I'm really impressed with. It's the 'wow factor' these days. It makes me happy to be alive to see all this stuff.
Then finally, after a year, I figured out how to get the adsense to work on my youtube account. It wasn't hard. I just had to be of clear mind, and figure out where to even look. I'm looking forward to seeing how long it will take to make my first penny, my first dollar, and my first $10. That will be incredible, if anything happens at all. I'm curious to what the top youtubers make per month, but many people make $500 - $800 a month on youtube. That is incredible. Beats working. I'd love to make that kind of bank from youtube, and sit at home all day making videos and art. Sounds like a good life. I do that anyway, but to get paid for it would be awesome.
I did get a $20 check from filling out some survey through my school. To make any money online is an accomplishment. I'm still trying to pay off what it cost for my two computers. I bought them hoping to make money to justify spending that much money on these machines. Now I can't live without them, I wouldn't want to. Life wouldn't be as fun. I always have something to do with the computers around, they are very useful tools.
That would be cool to make money from blogging, too. I have so much writing that I've done over the last twenty years, maybe it is time for people to actually read what I have written. A lot of it is diary and journal work, but it is the document of my life and work. My writing has been one of my best friends.
So I'm excited about online games, thrilled about the possibilities of making money with youtube; when it shows that I have made one red penny, I will be stoked.
Why aren't I in bed asleep? Because it is fun to stay up half the night.
I was so thrilled with what I was seeing online, I didn't even bother to go out, even though it was a Saturday night. What was I going to do, have a drink, look at a couple of women, and go home? I did that the night before.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Today
It is Saturday, and I have the whole day free.
If anyone reading plays EverQuest, I'm on the Saryn ( Mithaniel Marr ) server.
I drank coffee at Muddy Waters at 16th and Mission today. Then, I wasn't feeling much of anything in the cafe, so it was a half hour before yoga class started, and I made it to class, and now I feel real good now. I was sore from yesterday, and my hamstrings needed stretching out. Plus, one of my favorite cute girls was there, and that is always nice. I never talk to any of the girls in class, I figure they have their own lives, and if they wanted to talk to me, they would.
We had a substitute today, she does a good job. Like cake without the frosting, though. She isn't one of my favorite teachers, but what she had us do today was really good. Just a nice, easy, and relaxing class. There were a lot of people there today. I guess it is still the New Year's Resolution people, but they begin to drop off in February, I've noticed.
She's kind of a downbeat yoga teacher. Somewhere deep inside, she has the blues, I can feel that.
Anyway, I feel great as a result of her class. Makes me feel alive, so that is something. Much better than feeling all stiff and sore all day. I feel fluid now, and that is pretty yummy.
I know someone will eventually read this. It's just like youtube, where I didn't know who in hell would watch my videos, but people have. I have 118,000 hits so far, with no promotion whatsoever. Most people watch some of the music videos I've made, but maybe more will watch the art stuff. I don't think they are all that great, but they are getting better. I know what I'm doing with the videos at least a little bit more. It's fun to make videos, I enjoy going through the process. I bought a 1.5 TB hard drive to store all the videos and photos, still learning how to use this hard drive. I'm still such a noob when it comes to computers.
Lately, I've been going off the hook watching videos featuring Alan Watts, Noam Chomsky, Carl Sagan, George Carlin, and Howard Stern. These guys keep me entertained and happy for hours. Hey, when you live in an underground basement studio, you need lots of content to keep your mind going. I still like books, I have to read more. Videos can only do so much. You need books, because they help you to think better, whereas tons of videos can leave you a little confused.
I don't have a job right now. Well, I do, I'm a working artist. I just don't get paid, and that will eventually become a problem. I can survive for sometime, but it would be nice to make some art sales, or have a stream of income primarily for the purpose that I can keep doing my thing.
I've been at this art thing for a long time, twenty plus years, and I am just getting started is how I feel inside. That's fine with me. Every day is a new day.
The kind of art I want to make always involves naked ladies as my source material, but lately, I've used no imagery whatsoever. I've had a problem with imagery lately, just wanting to spread colors around with a brush. I've been accused of making 'therapy art', and maybe that is true a lot of the time. I don't care if that is true. Sometimes it isn't. I do make art for myself. If I'm not entertained by my own art, why would anyone else be? If Neil Young can write a song for himself, their is no reason why I can't make a painting for myself. Same thing.
I reconsidered H.R. Giger. He is very talented. I love his work, but each artist has to find his own way, that is the way, the inward journey, and if I follow the path correctly, my art shouldn't look like anyone else's, what would be the point of that? There's only two kinds of art, just like music, good and bad. I like to simplify to that point, makes everything easier on me.
I figure I have nothing to lose at this point.
I like to write, I know that. I'm probably embarrassing myself with this entry, but I seem especially good at doing that with every opportunity. It's all part of the risk factor, I suppose.
I'm honest, at least I'm that. It's gotten me into trouble in the past, but it is better than being a goddamn liar.
Meanwhile, my Lizard Man Iksar named Scummy Bababooeybukaki is fighting skellies in Crescent Reach, where he has a skellie of his own. ( 'Skellie' is common online lingo for skeleton. )
Anyway, I bought a bottle of beer last night, but I never got around to drinking it. Maybe I will today, who knows? I like to drink once in a while, even though I do yoga, but hell, I still smoke everyday. I like it. Now the world knows what I do, but who cares? Better than hiding something from people. I don't have anything to hide, except when I'm writing or drawing at the cafe. I don't like people looking over my shoulder when I am working, do you?
It's funny to me thinking that this will actually be read by someone someday. It might be me. I write for myself, too, same as my art. I've given up trying to please other people, it's impossible. I do what I want creatively, and that is the only reason to do it, especially after having art teachers be on my ass for years. I don't care anymore what they think. I had some good teachers, though, and I will always remember those. The others can just go into the recycling bin.
I don't want to teach. I have nothing to teach anybody. All I need is some wise-ass kid to remind me of how I was. hahaha.
I figure at this point that all I am is some kind of entertainer. I make and provide content, and give something of myself in the process, so I can go on with my life. I guess this is my harvest today, come what will. I'm not even done yet. I'm just exploring the medium of blogging.
It will be fun to see what happens, but as is my experience, probably not much of anything. That's fine, I'm used to that. I don't know what I expect anyway.
Maybe I'll make some coffee instead of dipping into the beer just yet. I've got EverQuest to keep me happy for a while, and I look forward to talking to one of my brothers later, so I am going to have a good day, and thanks for reading. Hopefully, I won't have to edit too much later, and I'll leave talking about masturbation for another blog, that will be a rather long entry, hahahaha.
If anyone reading plays EverQuest, I'm on the Saryn ( Mithaniel Marr ) server.
I drank coffee at Muddy Waters at 16th and Mission today. Then, I wasn't feeling much of anything in the cafe, so it was a half hour before yoga class started, and I made it to class, and now I feel real good now. I was sore from yesterday, and my hamstrings needed stretching out. Plus, one of my favorite cute girls was there, and that is always nice. I never talk to any of the girls in class, I figure they have their own lives, and if they wanted to talk to me, they would.
We had a substitute today, she does a good job. Like cake without the frosting, though. She isn't one of my favorite teachers, but what she had us do today was really good. Just a nice, easy, and relaxing class. There were a lot of people there today. I guess it is still the New Year's Resolution people, but they begin to drop off in February, I've noticed.
She's kind of a downbeat yoga teacher. Somewhere deep inside, she has the blues, I can feel that.
Anyway, I feel great as a result of her class. Makes me feel alive, so that is something. Much better than feeling all stiff and sore all day. I feel fluid now, and that is pretty yummy.
I know someone will eventually read this. It's just like youtube, where I didn't know who in hell would watch my videos, but people have. I have 118,000 hits so far, with no promotion whatsoever. Most people watch some of the music videos I've made, but maybe more will watch the art stuff. I don't think they are all that great, but they are getting better. I know what I'm doing with the videos at least a little bit more. It's fun to make videos, I enjoy going through the process. I bought a 1.5 TB hard drive to store all the videos and photos, still learning how to use this hard drive. I'm still such a noob when it comes to computers.
Lately, I've been going off the hook watching videos featuring Alan Watts, Noam Chomsky, Carl Sagan, George Carlin, and Howard Stern. These guys keep me entertained and happy for hours. Hey, when you live in an underground basement studio, you need lots of content to keep your mind going. I still like books, I have to read more. Videos can only do so much. You need books, because they help you to think better, whereas tons of videos can leave you a little confused.
I don't have a job right now. Well, I do, I'm a working artist. I just don't get paid, and that will eventually become a problem. I can survive for sometime, but it would be nice to make some art sales, or have a stream of income primarily for the purpose that I can keep doing my thing.
I've been at this art thing for a long time, twenty plus years, and I am just getting started is how I feel inside. That's fine with me. Every day is a new day.
The kind of art I want to make always involves naked ladies as my source material, but lately, I've used no imagery whatsoever. I've had a problem with imagery lately, just wanting to spread colors around with a brush. I've been accused of making 'therapy art', and maybe that is true a lot of the time. I don't care if that is true. Sometimes it isn't. I do make art for myself. If I'm not entertained by my own art, why would anyone else be? If Neil Young can write a song for himself, their is no reason why I can't make a painting for myself. Same thing.
I reconsidered H.R. Giger. He is very talented. I love his work, but each artist has to find his own way, that is the way, the inward journey, and if I follow the path correctly, my art shouldn't look like anyone else's, what would be the point of that? There's only two kinds of art, just like music, good and bad. I like to simplify to that point, makes everything easier on me.
I figure I have nothing to lose at this point.
I like to write, I know that. I'm probably embarrassing myself with this entry, but I seem especially good at doing that with every opportunity. It's all part of the risk factor, I suppose.
I'm honest, at least I'm that. It's gotten me into trouble in the past, but it is better than being a goddamn liar.
Meanwhile, my Lizard Man Iksar named Scummy Bababooeybukaki is fighting skellies in Crescent Reach, where he has a skellie of his own. ( 'Skellie' is common online lingo for skeleton. )
Anyway, I bought a bottle of beer last night, but I never got around to drinking it. Maybe I will today, who knows? I like to drink once in a while, even though I do yoga, but hell, I still smoke everyday. I like it. Now the world knows what I do, but who cares? Better than hiding something from people. I don't have anything to hide, except when I'm writing or drawing at the cafe. I don't like people looking over my shoulder when I am working, do you?
It's funny to me thinking that this will actually be read by someone someday. It might be me. I write for myself, too, same as my art. I've given up trying to please other people, it's impossible. I do what I want creatively, and that is the only reason to do it, especially after having art teachers be on my ass for years. I don't care anymore what they think. I had some good teachers, though, and I will always remember those. The others can just go into the recycling bin.
I don't want to teach. I have nothing to teach anybody. All I need is some wise-ass kid to remind me of how I was. hahaha.
I figure at this point that all I am is some kind of entertainer. I make and provide content, and give something of myself in the process, so I can go on with my life. I guess this is my harvest today, come what will. I'm not even done yet. I'm just exploring the medium of blogging.
It will be fun to see what happens, but as is my experience, probably not much of anything. That's fine, I'm used to that. I don't know what I expect anyway.
Maybe I'll make some coffee instead of dipping into the beer just yet. I've got EverQuest to keep me happy for a while, and I look forward to talking to one of my brothers later, so I am going to have a good day, and thanks for reading. Hopefully, I won't have to edit too much later, and I'll leave talking about masturbation for another blog, that will be a rather long entry, hahahaha.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Online Games
I play EverQuest, EverQuest 2, Star Wars Galaxies, Dungeons & Dragons Online, Magic Online, and I am trying to get Lord of The Rings Online to work. Takes time with these games to get them to function correctly sometimes.
I like online games. They are fun, and I consider them an adjunct to my art work. I get lots of ideas from these games.
I appreciate the work that goes into them.
Back when I was a kid, these kind of games weren't even a thought in someone's head. We were lucky to be able to play Atari 2600's 'Adventure'. It's come a long way since then.
I play a lot of Facebook browser games. I like the graphics, and the text. I like using my imagination in these games. The colors and stories help set the mood.
I like online games. They are fun, and I consider them an adjunct to my art work. I get lots of ideas from these games.
I appreciate the work that goes into them.
Back when I was a kid, these kind of games weren't even a thought in someone's head. We were lucky to be able to play Atari 2600's 'Adventure'. It's come a long way since then.
I play a lot of Facebook browser games. I like the graphics, and the text. I like using my imagination in these games. The colors and stories help set the mood.
Adult Content
I enabled the adult content warning, because eventually, if I do feel like one day talking about below the belt stuff, it is set up for that.
Also, I have a whole thing about 'Freedom From Religion', where I just want to live my life without people imposing their belief systems on me. This has happened online in several instances, where someone wants to tell me about Jesus or something.
So if you are under 30, or over 26, don't read what I write.
Also, I have a whole thing about 'Freedom From Religion', where I just want to live my life without people imposing their belief systems on me. This has happened online in several instances, where someone wants to tell me about Jesus or something.
So if you are under 30, or over 26, don't read what I write.
Hello, Again
I like to say 'hello'. It is very friendly, and nice. It is something no one can argue with, since it implies a reaching out with absolutely no strings attached. Nothing more needs to be said. The after-effect is pleasant, also.
It's going to be another good day. I have to go to my yoga class in seven minutes. It makes me feel good. Then for the rest of the day, I have the energy to do what I want, until I drop around midnight.
I don't have much to say right now. It doesn't matter. I know all I have to do is put up a lot of words, and make my words available, because words matter. They allow other people to see what you think, and I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
It's funny with all the online stuff. I know that people read and view my content, though they don't always say so. That's fine. Depending on my relationship with a person, I don't always comment on their stuff. That's how it is. I do care what people write and say, though, it helps me to feel connected to them, in at least a small way.
I was never that interested in blogging until yesterday. Didn't know it was such a big thing, and I didn't know if I wanted to put myself out in that way. Now, it seems like fun, and I like to have fun. I did do a little blogging on myspace, but it was hard to get into. I didn't feel it. I like this site, though, it seems friendly enough.
In the future, I want to write about art, and what I am doing. Part of it will probably contain therapy, because that seems what I am all about, haha.
More later, we'll see what happens.
It's going to be another good day. I have to go to my yoga class in seven minutes. It makes me feel good. Then for the rest of the day, I have the energy to do what I want, until I drop around midnight.
I don't have much to say right now. It doesn't matter. I know all I have to do is put up a lot of words, and make my words available, because words matter. They allow other people to see what you think, and I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
It's funny with all the online stuff. I know that people read and view my content, though they don't always say so. That's fine. Depending on my relationship with a person, I don't always comment on their stuff. That's how it is. I do care what people write and say, though, it helps me to feel connected to them, in at least a small way.
I was never that interested in blogging until yesterday. Didn't know it was such a big thing, and I didn't know if I wanted to put myself out in that way. Now, it seems like fun, and I like to have fun. I did do a little blogging on myspace, but it was hard to get into. I didn't feel it. I like this site, though, it seems friendly enough.
In the future, I want to write about art, and what I am doing. Part of it will probably contain therapy, because that seems what I am all about, haha.
More later, we'll see what happens.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Greeting
Hello.
* * * * *
This is the first blog I ever put on 'The David Lovins 67 Underground Emporium'. All I ever got was ten hits, and they are probably all from me, as the settings count my own hits.
Well, it is years later, and I'm going to post a couple of videos.
I'm pretty sure no one will watch these, unless I tell someone about their existence, and I'm not going to do that.
The chances of anyone finding these videos here are slim to none, but as an artist, I'm going to post them.
So, the following two videos contain nudity, my own....haha. You have been warned.
The first one is entitled, "Strip".....omg, maximum file size exceeded. I can't even put it up. That is too bad. It was a non-sexual video, just of me taking off my clothes, and walking off camera, after doing a couple of life drawing poses.
Hmmm....if I can't put it on blogger, I wonder where I can put it? I don't know.
The second one I was gonna put up was entitled, "Shower". You pretty much get the picture from that. I just take a shower, and do my business. I just present it as normal. It's what people do every day, after all.
As a final thought, it's amazing that I started this blog in 2010. Wow.
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