Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Whatever.

     I just wrote a piece for my other blog, "The Drunken News".  I've gotten into trouble with some other patrons over that, so I am not so interested in writing for it much anymore.  It was fun while it lasted, though.

     I am just sitting here in my studio with a hand-rolled cigarette in my mouth, and a home-brewed cup of coffee, just how I like it.

     I had a good session at the cafe.  I did a lot of writing on big sheets of paper.  I get looks from people as if they had never seen anybody write before.  A couple of people sitting down even asked me about it.
     "Are you a writer?"
     There's not much I can do with that question, so I try to placate them.

     Anyhow, let's see....well, I can post a couple of pictures of my naked lady newspaper art.  That might be fun...

      This piece sold for $25 and a pint of Sierra Nevada.

     Then this piece was sold to the same girl for $15 and another Sierra Nevada.

     She was a friend of a friend, so I gave her a deal.  To me, they are worth twice as much.

     People at the bar usually can afford these paintings in the $20-$40 range.  Even then, they try to whittle down my price at times, which I'm not too happy about.  Sometimes I have to sell because I need the money, and it is true...I can always paint more.  But, they will never come out the same.  At this point, each one is a unique one of a kind thing, with a life of its' own.
     On the other hand, I am glad my paintings are finding homes.  They don't do me any good just sitting here in my studio for years.

     My art is in better homes than I am.

     Actually, I am not supposed to live in my art studio, but I do.  I have nowhere else to go, and I can't afford a real apartment.

     What I need is a real big live/work situation.  A huge warehouse room with a bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom.  That would be awesome.  I'll have to become pretty rich in order to get that.  I can dream, can't I?

     Anyways, I don't know what I am doing right now.  Maybe it is time to pull my head out of my ass, I don't know.

     I just can't do the standard 9-5 thing.  It doesn't work for me.  It upsets me.  I don't want to devote my whole life to a job.

     Actually, my whole life is currently devoted to a job...me being an artist, and it is full-time and then some.

     It is what I love to do, and some people think I do it well.  Others say I suck.  In any case, I'm selling my art every night, which is more than a lot of people can say, so fuck it.

Fan Fiction

     A lot of people have written what is known as 'fan fiction'.
     They write scenarios where famous fictional characters sleep with each other.

     I have been wanting to do this for a long time.  I would love to write about Mr. Spock getting it on with Nurse Chapel, or getting into details as Conan The Barbarian pounds some pussy with three Aquilonian slave girls.  That would be awesome.

     If people weren't so uptight, I guess this stuff would exist in the actual fictions themselves.  More and more of this is happening, though. 
     I'm sure the Christian Right doesn't want any fan fiction to exist because they don't like sex, so they say.
     The truth is, most everybody does it when they get the chance, morals or not.

     I mean, who wouldn't want to read a story where Superman bangs Wonder Woman?  I know I would.  It would be great if it was a full on graphic novel where all it would be is them having sex.

     Why do people write fan fiction?  Because it is funny.  At least, it is supposed to be, if the writer is good enough.

     There is something satisfying to knowing that fictional characters have sexual urges, too.

     I wouldn't mind doing some comic book pages of Samantha from 'Bewitched' with the two Dicks.

     Then there is 'Gilligan's Island', which is just asking for it.

     'The Brady Bunch' would be wrong, unless it just focuses on the parents.  Nobody would want to see Alice with Sam The Butcher unless it was drawn real sarcastic like, because they are not pretty people, haha.

     As far as I am concerned, 'The Dick Van Dyke Show', 'I Love Lucy', and 'The Andy Griffith Show' are all fair game, haha.

     Sometimes, the fan fiction actually gets produced by a real porn company.  They had fun making pornos with a 'Sarah Palin' look-alike...haha.

     So, this blog, the 'David Lovins 67 Underground Emporium' might be an exceptional place for some of my fan fiction.  I've never really tried to write it before all in text, because usually I just draw a comic book page.  It might be fun, however, to do some text versions.

     People do fan fiction all the time.  Sometimes the companies don't like people doing that.  Sometimes they don't mind, or there is nothing that can be done legally.

     There was an incident where an artist made paintings of Batman and Robin getting it on, and DC comics made the gallery it was shown in take it all down.
     Geez, guys, have a sense of humor.  Especially since there have been gay overtones to Batman and Robin since the 40's.
     A man in a costume spending a lot of time with a boy in a costume.  That is bizarre, and would make the neighbors talk for sure.

     In Star Trek, the character of Nurse Chapel really digs Spock, that is why I would want to do that one.
     A lot of people make a big deal about 'the gay relationship' between Kirk and Spock, but that is ridiculous to me.

     Others make a big deal about 'Bert and Ernie' but that is kind of wrong because it is a goddamn kid's show, and they are fucking puppets, for Chrissake's.
     If it was done in a really funny manner, only then would I change my mind.  It would have to be well-written.

     Batman getting it on with Catwoman doesn't interest me much, but Batman getting it on with 'I Dream of Jeannie' in Barbara Eden's prime does interest me...haha.

     Radar from M*A*S*H* getting it on with Hot Lips Hoolihan would be good.  They could be having sex in the supply tent, but then near the end, Radar could hear the choppers coming, and people could ask him why he has this dumb look on his face as if he just got laid.
     "Because I did, " Radar replied.
     "There is no way," Trapper John said.
     "The only way Radar would ever get laid is if Hot Lips was feeling extra frisky," Hawkeye would say.

     Then they all look over at Hot Lips, who is blushing underneath her surgical mask.

     They all look shocked, and then the credits roll.

Leave It To Humans

     Well, the only way to be a writer is to write.  That is for sure.  You have to read, too.  You have to read a lot.  That is about all there is to it.  You have to read a lot, and write a lot.
     You can make a case for experience, that you have to go live life, and find out things.  All that is fine, but it eventually comes back to the fact that you have to read and write a lot.  There are no short cuts to this.  Sorry, folks.
     I guess most people want the fame and fortune without doing the ugly, real work.  They want lots of book sales because their work is so incredible and awesome that people will just buy it.
     Well, that is a fantasy.

     Anyway, I'm sitting here in my studio listening to this drummer and guitarist go at it.  That is all the world needs is another couple of dudes making a lot of noise that sounds the same as everybody else.  They sure are going through a lot of trouble just to get laid. 
     Anyhow, I wish they would just go away.
     They are ruining my peace.

     It is hard to write when there is a bunch of racket going on.
     At least they keep me awake.
     No chance of a nice nap happening with this infernal noise.

     Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about pop culture, fictional characters, copyrights, cartoons, comic books, and all kinds of non-art things.  It is what most people know.  Also in there are thoughts of Stephen King, movies, films, and horror.

     Then there is rock and roll.

     The current music scene seems to be filled with rehashings of the same old thing, with the same old lyrics because that is what makes the money with each new generation.  Young people always want what is new, but they don't know that it is recycled crap over and over again.  I guess I'll let them find out for themselves.  I can't be bothered with what they listen to.

     I had a nice day at two cafes.  I rode to Maxfields, and then to Muddy Waters.  I didn't sell anything, but I did some comic book work, and drew up a picture of Lego Jesus.
     I came back home and looked up Lego Jesus.  Yup, people have made videos of it, but the one I saw was way too serious, as if that shit mattered.  It wasn't funny at all, so what was the point?  I don't know.  I guess they wanted to regurgitate what they heard in church.  That is what kids do.

     They stopped the music for a while, thank god.  Every day I have to deal with this garbage.

     I have been listening to a lot of audiobooks on youtube.  Try it, you might like it.  Currently, I am listening to some Conan The Barbarian stuff that I really like.  Who knew that Robert E. Howard's work was so enjoyable to listen to when read aloud?  English departments ought to consider him, instead of foo-fooing him off as a pulp writer.  I think it is a mistake.  More people today care about Conan The Barbarian than anything Ernest Hemingway ever wrote.  A lot of people today would say, "Who?"

     Anyway, it is a different world now than the one I grew up in.  A lot has changed in unexpected ways.  No one saw the computer age coming like it did.  No one could tell that it was going to be about phones and texting people stupid messages on facebook. 
     Leave it to humans to use advanced technology to make smiley faces and to post pictures of cute dogs and puppies.

More comics from the cafe

     Let's see...I sold $30 at the cafe today.  Two young Italian women picked up two paintings of mine.
     Meanwhile, here is some comic book work I did...

     I went to another coffee shop today where people have more money.  Funny that I would get a sale.  If there is one thing I have learned, and that is poor people don't buy art.  Neither do rich people who are poor in spirit or in knowledge about art.
     More people need to take an art appreciation course, or something.  That would be better than giving me condescending looks or comments.

     Anyhow, I got my coffee and pastry paid for today.  I'm happy.

     All I can say about this picture is if you put a couple of alcoholics together, combined with toys, and napkin art, you can sometimes come up with stuff like this, haha.