about last night stuff

I'm all over the place, and nothing works today. Computer is slow, putting too many videos on the computer is not good. I have to delete as much as I can.
Things were going wrong. Camera battery needed a recharge.
I had a couple of videos that I made that just didn't work, trying to get everything done before I have to leave.
Youtube is going well, but was having internet connection problems, though everything works fine now. Some days are slow, especially on weekends.
I'm recovering from last night, but I got a good groove going.
I don't know what I'm doing sometimes, I just upload video after video and see what happens.
I don't know what people will think about any of this. There is no way to know until they say something. In a way, what does it matter what they think? What matters is what I think, but sometimes I hear myself talk and I just want to vomit. Ugh.
Another night of Magic ahead. I have done nothing to work on my decks. Always a plan, but I never get around to it. Happens. It's just not the most important thing.
I wonder how my brothers are? Hope they are doing good. I want to give them money, we'll see what happens.
I hope my bet on 'Iraqi Currency' works. Could take months, a year, two, I don't care how long it takes. If it works, it will be nice. If it doesn't, I'm out a couple of bucks, no biggie.
Fun night last night. A little too much to drink, but I was having fun. It's probably a good idea that I didn't get to the liquor store before it closed. I had had enough, though I wanted more. It was good to cool down.
I had fun talking to a couple of ladies, but nothing happened except making friends. That is a good thing. Nothing wrong with that, but I just get that feeling of frustration that is ever so pleasant.
After walking the lady home, some cute girl started saying hello to me, but her friend pulled her away, and described that she was drunk. I kind of got the picture of that, though she was cute, and it isn't often a girl comes at me like that. It was a good feeling, but just something that happens when everyone is out having a good time.
Lots of little things that happened last night. I can't write them all, unless I try. I could make a list.
Kids on skateboards rolling down the street, comments, roast duck, hockey, the doorman, the magician, conversations, some girl yelling out a car that another hot girl was a prostitute, and my friend saying, "Don't you be hatin' cuz she's hot!"
Good stuff, but you know what? I have to split, damn.

life is work

Hello, Saturday. Hello to my invisible readers, or to people stumbling upon this blog by accident.
I don't even know if I want to be read.
I know I don't like it when people look over my shoulder when I'm writing or drawing at the cafe. It's annoying. Haven't they ever seen someone writing in a cafe before? Jesus.
You can tell something about a person about how they write, though. If the text is compact or not you can see what the person's mind is like. Handwriting is a give-away for a lot of things. Something you can't hide from.
People like my handwriting, even if they could give a crap about me.

Anyway, I had a nice time at the cafe. Only one cup today. I got some footage.

I like making videos, it's a lot faster than painting. Make a video, put it up on youtube, I'm done. Paintings can take years. I like filming the progress of a painting more than the finished piece, because what the hell does that mean? Nothing is ever done. What might be done to you is only halfway to someone else.
Or they will say, "It's not really that good."

I don't care anymore.

I have a whole lifetime of people trying to make me feel bad for what I do creatively. Screw them.
These people have never done me a bit of good.

I started Fishville again. Now that I understand Farmville and how that works, I'll give Fishville a try. It looks fun.

Lots of stuff to do today.

I like using the blog as a little writing book, to work out ideas, and to see what happens.
A lot to do today. Life is work, you know.

blah

Hello, just listening to Stern on youtube, I can't get enough, especially with Evil Dave Letterman, and Gilbert as guests.
I am thankful for all the nutjobs who have plenty of time to load up thousands of Howard Stern videos for my personal enjoyment.
Laughing is contagious. It's not always the jokes that make me laugh, but when Jackie, Robin, and Artie laugh, that gets me going.

Lots going on, just heard 'The Crying Kittens' band practicing, now there is someone doing his Brian Eno keyboards. Yay.

I don't think music is such a big deal, if you are going to be that bad at it.

Still listening to Howard, and suffering with the band.
I like leaving the blog open and just write when I feel like it.
There is a time limit, though.
I can't even hear myself think with the band next door. Ugh.
I don't know how I'm supposed to write a decent blog with this crap.
I can't read it over and think it through, I get so impatient with these so-called musicians.
I don't think what they are doing is all that great. So monotonous. They are into this idea that loud is good.

I could go out tonight, I'm not sure yet.

I just want to lay down and think, with my head under the covers so I can hear myself think.

Then there is the lady down the hall, that's another story.

Iraqi Currency

Hey, happy Friday. Lots of rain. Listening to Howard Stern now.

Good thing no one reads my blog. Buy all the Iraqi currency you can. Only buy what you can afford to lose is my advice.

Well, since no one listens to me, too bad. Oh well.

The way the world actually works is really screwed up, man, the more I find out. It is disturbing.

Damn.

Anyway, I'm gonna do the best I can today, and get as much done as I can.

Just another day, but it is a good one, so far.

Except for the bearded old man. He had some kind of thick accent. Beard. Heavy, in other words, fat, like Santa Claus. Smoking. Talking. He said he saw me on the Muni last night.

Back to making and uploading videos. It is a lot of fun.

I skipped lunch today, I wasn't hungry. I will be later, though.

Yoga class was good.

I wonder how 'Alice in Wonderland' in 3D will be?

I like Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

More James Brown Guy footage today.

I need to read more. So much to do. I like reading, I don't know what my problem is.

People don't seem to read books as much. It's a strange activity to read a book in public now. What? No portable electronic device?

Legos. I like legos.

Hey.

Video after video after video.

Some guy singing in the locker room, that was different.

I need coffee. I'll make some.

The Steam Room, haha.

Now I'm getting a little hungry.

Uh, confessions, every word is a confession. Every word you write can and probably will be used against you, for everything you do. Always someone judging you for something. Women do that a lot, but men do it, too. They size you up, and distinguish if you are one of them, or not.

I like the confuse a cat game.

A wall of stone is 0/8.

Let's see, what else?

To be able to hide behind a wall of content.

Hey, what about Tiger Woods? If he wanted to be with lots of women, why did he get married? What's the point?

Anyway, having fun today, let's see what happens.

YouTube takes a lot of time to do well with it.

Starting the new channel is going well, relatively. Same as Facebook, not as many people respond to me as I would like. I guess I have to respond to them more.
I keep hoping someone will notice my work, so I don't have to be a dick about self-promoting myself.

I keep thinking about the person who saw The Holy Ghost. He must be mentally ill on some level. Seeing God is one thing, Jesus is another, but seeing The Holy Ghost? I have no knowledge of any human in history ever seeing The Holy Ghost before. By definition, he doesn't reveal himself to humans.
Maybe this person just wanted to validate his ego, since no one else would.

So, making videos all day. Now I wait, and wait, to see if anybody watches them. It will take a while, I know that.
Then I just saw some interactive choose your own adventure videos with some high production values. That was pretty good.
Just being an artist on youtube isn't good enough. Have to do something really incredible, but that is impossible. Everybody is doing something incredible these days.
I can't give up trying.

I just turned on EverQuest, because I want to get some painting in before I collapse from exhaustion.

Plus, my desire to lay down is great, after suffering through another adventure in musical aspirations with The Band Next Door. I don't know if they will ever get there. Talent starts with a 'T'.

So, to generate business? Well, I've never been the most popular kid in school, or in adult life, either. Maybe Homer Simpson is right, being popular is the most important thing in the world, but Homer is the most popular Simpson last time I checked, which isn't often. I haven't watched the show in years.

For someone to read this blog? Haha. What a joke.

I don't know if I want people to read it anyway.

I don't even know what I am doing with this blog. I don't know what the rules are, what you can or can not say, what is right or wrong to say, I have no idea.

About the only thing I understand is not to mention real names, maybe refer to people with fictional names, like in a book, if I am talking about anybody at all.

Time to get some xp with Scummy in EverQuest.

Yeah, to write a blog that is of interest to people? Hmmmm, I have no idea.

Journalism. Writing interesting articles, hmmmm. That could mean homework and work.

I don't think with writing in the same way as videos. I make a lot of those knowing people will watch them. With blogs it is a little different. Text is a little different as a medium.

I'll try and save this blog before I fall asleep.

I lost the last blog, I think, ooops.

I wrote stuff last night, and forgot to save it. Not the first time I've done that. I left it on all night.

I had a good morning at the cafe, filming stuff whatever happened. I got plenty of footage to make videos with, that's good.
Got to show people I'm working. People don't like it if you aren't doing anything. That is the buzz.
Everyone has to know what you are up to, and what you are doing. That's what humans do best. It's worse in Utah, where people have nothing to do, and they really get into some of the finer points of nosiness.

Almost to 100 videos on the new channel. I just want to give people some content.

Just the thought of doing this stuff for someone else kind of makes me sick to think about. No, I write, film, and do my own material. I'd rather have it be bad and crappy then have it be someone else's shit.

Even to be an illustrator, no, I want to write the book, and draw the pictures, and design the cover, because it is my book. Fuck how the world thinks.

Working on video #99.

Let's see, what else is happening? Fun to take the tripod to the cafe. I want to take it to the outdoor office today.

Let's see what happens.

Nothing else to say right now.

Hi there, and good afternoon.

It's another day in hell, just kidding.
It's all about Farmville on Facebook now. Some people are developing some amazing farms, but I don't want to work on Maggie's Farm no more.

I had a good yoga class. Cute girls, new teacher, all that. Nice routine. Feels good.

I had a nice lunch.

I am charging up my camera battery. Might be nice to get a spare one of these days.
I need new batteries for my Star Trek Phaser. I ought to take care of that today.

Gonna work on my stuff all day, takes time.

Damn, the sound of someone going into a music studio. Damn, now I have to listen to them.

Youtube is really starting to work for me now. I am liking it. I really feel like I'm broadcasting. Fun stuff. Dream come true. I can do stuff, and people will actually watch what I do, exciting.
For them to comment, that's another matter, but getting there.

This is the end, my only friend the end.

I won in Magic 5-4 last night, barely escaped defeat, haha.

I'll use up all my green paint. I got me plenty of things to use it for. When it is all gone, then I will go to the art store.

I can barely think in here. I was thinking of actually using stuff I write on paper, and transferring it here. I can think better when I am at the coffeeshop or the outdoor office. I can focus in those two places. Here, it is one distraction after another.

I'm impressed with all the major companies on youtube now. It's getting serious. Instead of everybody stealing their stuff, they are claiming their own.

I'm trying to establish my own self. I've found a video or two of mine on a Chinese website, haha. Not sure what I think about that. But that is how it is.

I wish I could get paid for something I do. Have to do something about that. There's got to be a way.

Let's see, just put up several videos. What's next? Not sure.

Hey.

Hey what?

You know I'm just logging in and writing stuff so it looks like I'm doing something, right?

Anyway, I won in Magic tonight, 5-4. Each game was brutal. Grudge match. Haha.

It was a good night.


Too many wrong notes from the piano player. His playing unnerves me.

287 hits on the new channel.

I worked on films. A lot of bad material that I filmed that I couldn't use. Took a while.

297 hits now. 3 more to go.

It's all I can write tonight. I'm done.

Hello, it's Sunday.

Instant Karma is gonna get you.
I did not know that Yoko was knitting in the background until today.
I love the drums on that video. I wish a lot of drummers would just look at this video and see how it is done. Simple, sparse, and effective. Every beat counts. The sound of a drum isn't all that great, but it is marvelous when done right. People pound so much, and it all turns to mush and ruins the song. The drums are supposed to make the song better, not worse.
Sorry, not every drummer can be Kieth Moon, even though they try to be.

More youtube uploads, and listening to the band next door. Makes it hard to think. Sometimes it isn't too bad, keeps me awake and alert. I wish they would play something that was good, though.

Uh, gotta go.

I have one month to find a job

Or I have to work at the ballpark again, which actually isn't half bad. It is fun at times. It helps that I actually like baseball.

My dream job is to draw designs, cartoons, comics, take pictures of my work, e-mail them in, get a check in the mail. Sounds good to me.

I finally finished my new Marianne Faithfull video, "Working Class Hero" on my David Lovins 67 channel. I didn't know I was going to do that today. It came out good, but I can't listen to that song anymore today.

I listened to The Police throughout the day.

I ended up doing some good work today.

No point in making much art unless I can make a video in the process. That takes a little bit longer to set everything up.

I'm getting ready to go out. Gonna do some drawing, relax, and have a good time, I deserve it.

Woot, I have four ( 4 ) subscribers now.

265 hits, something like that. I'll get more, just give it time. It will work soon, considering all the videos I've made, and some of them are pretty good for youtube. You know how it is there.

I'm feeling good, and I deserve a drink, and I will definitely avoid all trouble, because trouble has a way of finding me, usually in the form of some guy who doesn't have nothing to do but bother me when I'm minding my own business.

Tonight is a night to laugh and enjoy myself.

Peace out, a common saying, but it works, and I can't think of anything else at this moment which is more descriptive for what I want to say.

Hello and suffering with the 'guitarist' next door

Jesus, hard to think. Ugh, now the drummer is going at it, too. Great, good for them. What are they gonna do, open for Nine Inch Nails or something? They don't actually play stuff that people can jam out to.
Right now they are working on their U2 Unforgettable Fire Brian Eno song. They actually have a couple of those.

Christ.

Leonardo Da Vinci didn't even like music much.
As far as I know, he was a homosexual, but that didn't seem to figure too much into his art or life, since he was a workaholic.
Anyway, I have more suffering to do with this band.

I wish they'd go away, or play something I enjoyed, that would be nice.

Fuck, they finally stopped, what a relief to me. It is hard enough to hear myself think in complete silence, much less with them making racket.

I'm uploading more videos. I have a long way to go before I get the number of hits my last channel did.

I am still frustrated about losing access to my first youtube channel. Sucks.

Wow, I just made my first webcam video, and I'm going to post it. The webcam is a fun toy.

I still don't know what to do with this blog yet.

Fuck. I suppose I could have an appropriate title and have appropriate material for people to read.

I don't even read this shit, it's like pissing to me.

Words, words, words, what do they all mean? Fuck if I know.

I suppose one of these days I should show that I'm not a dumbass.

It would be fun to drink a beer in front of the webcam, haha.

Fuck, I'm gonna get a beer, fuck it.

Piss Christ

I actually like the work of art entitled 'Piss Christ'. My grandmother wrote it off as shock value. Too easy to do that.
I see the value of 'Piss Christ' the older I get.
Good to stick it to them once in a while.

"His blog isn't very user friendly," somebody will probably say, if they read this at all.

"Fuck it, I say. I could just give a flying fuck anymore. Time to get down to business," he said.

haha.

Anyway, a lot of shit to do today.
Fuck, EverQuest problems again. I'll fix it.
Fuck, I could give a fuck.
I can only go so long without swearing.
It's too much to ask for me to keep a clean mouth at all times. There has to be some kind of release. The pressure builds up and I just want to say cocksucker cunt motherfucker. Jesus.

Hi, another great yoga class with one of my favorite teachers. Some damn good stretches.
Informative, too.
She's very good, very funny, very smart, intelligent, and knowledgeable. She reads The New York Times and The New Yorker.

The fuck.
100 hits, and now 110. My channel has begun, I suppose. I'll never get the old one back. Don't know if I need it anymore. Might as well keep it simple with one account, though I will miss the old one. I can always start up a new 'KirkIndySoloSpock' channel.
'David Lovins 67' is on its way.
I'm sure someone is laughing at me somewhere. I guess I'll laugh along with them.
No one takes me seriously. So fuck it.
I mean, who the fuck cares? No one does if I do anything or not, so fuck it.
I'm alive, this is what I do, and I'll fucking do it until I'm dead. Fuck the world and what it thinks. haha.
Fuck, I'm just trying to get my game to work, goddammit. Always something.

I need xp every day. It's the only way to live.

Money, money, money, money, money.
I have to get it through my head that I need it to live. The fuck.

Fuck.
Hey, I'm an exponent of The American Public Education System. What the fuck did you guys expect, fucking Shakespeare? Dickens? Orwell?

Hard to think with all of the distractions.
I'll do my best.

I don't even know if all this is worth arguing about, I just want to live. Jesus the fuck Christ. God.
What do I have to do in this world? Something, anything.
I'm not sure what I have to do.
Something involving royalties, or something that will keep my ship afloat for a while, Jesus Motherfucker.
It's a Piss Christ after all.

Parents want to protect their kids. From what? Reality is a harsh motherfucker.

My parents didn't teach me much of anything. They thought all they had to do was give birth to me and watch me grow.

Yeah, it doesn't matter what I write, as long as I write something for these blogs, and mark the time, haha.

Cool, my pet skellie has a shield now, along with his rapier.

Get some xp, paint, hey, it is a day, make videos, do stuff.

My lunch was good with sweet and sour pork and egg fried rice, water and tea as usual.

Fuck.

( Why are you reading my blog? It's none of your business what I write, go away. )

Haha, the blog whose user doesn't want anyone to read it.

I'm a product. This country produced me. I'm definitely American. Not to PR.
I'm a born rebel, that's the American Way, so fucking fuck the kiss ass shit. Tired of it all.

My oldest brother is still a nutjob as far as I am concerned, with his Universal Knowledge Grid, which he hopes will change the world. He'll be lucky enough to change his own world.
So tired of his shit.
He's a nicer guy now, or maybe he is just making more careful moves on the chessboard with me. Still feels like a game.
If he ever reads this, fuck it. It's how I feel, I can write whatever the fuck I want. It's my fucking opinion. Fuck.

He can write whatever the fuck he wants about me, I could give a fuck.

If he ever finds out I'm writing this blog, someone is nosy about what I do. I could give a fuck about that, too, but I know people don't mind their own fucking business in this country. Just ask Mrs. Kravitz from 'Bewitched'.

The fuck.

I want to name names, I want to write the truth about everything and everyone, I want to empty my entire mind, and start with a clean slate.

I wish I had someone to talk to sometimes. Someone I could see once a week. Maybe I have a bunch of shit stored inside, who knows? Things that can't be expressed.

I don't know what people think of me, but they watch my videos.

I don't know anymore, and I don't know if I care.

Just having fun is all I want to do.

I just want to give a woman a squirting orgasm and make her happy.

Mike Hunt

Well, that title should scare off any potential female readers, haha.
I was wondering if I should make a video entitled 'Mike Hunt', but instead opted for the more expansive 'Michael Hunt'.
There was already a video entitled 'Mike Hunt'.

Anyway, I made several videos, and I'm not done yet.

I am turning on EverQuest, so I can get some things done.

Damn, I have to 'go to the bathroom' or the more polite 'use the restroom'.

I did pay my AT & T bill with no human interaction whatsoever at their store. I just used their kiosk, and that was that.

Oh yeah, yoga class today. I had to cover my ears during chavasana today. Couldn't stand what I interpret as 'baby talk'. It was a sub today. I can only listen to so much of her, though she means well, I think. Same class every time more or less, I don't know what her deal is, if there even is one.
The actual movements are fine, but I'm not a fan of her accompanying dialogue.

I write all this stuff on my blog, I don't expect anyone to actually read this. If they do, I'll be fucking surprised, and I'd have to ask them, "Why?"

Anyway, I have a lot to do.

I decided I would use this blog as my writing tablet just to work out my thoughts while I am in the studio. I get confused in here sometimes with so much going on.

You know how it is.

Wow, a dialogue with myself, how fun.

Actually, I've been thinking of working on some dialogues here.

Anyways.

Scummy is halfway through level 27.

***********

Bathroom, smoke shop, bought my Bugler and David Nacho Cheese sunflower seeds.

I got hooked on sunflower seeds after working the ball park. They are nice to have once in a while.

The rest of the day I will paint, play games, hopefully talk to my brother, and hope for lots of hits on youtube. I will screw around on Facebook, check my hotmail, and enjoy myself.

Nothing else to do.

I had a nice lunch of Barbecue Pork chow mein. That was good. I had tea and water as usual with it.

I like hot sauce and soy sauce.

I guess anybody who wanted to could read this, but is this the real me? Who knows? It is just words.

Damn, man. A skeletal ogre killed my pet skeleton 'Gebatik'. I had to make a new one. His name is 'Xerartik'. Hate when my pet gets killed. Vengeance shall be mine upon the undead of Norrath. haha.

I need coffee. Bad. Beer doesn't sound like a bad idea, but coffee is good for now. Beer doesn't do much for me except make me fat. Sometimes, though, a beer is the best thing. Sometimes water is the best thing, depends.

I'm glad no band has started up yet. I am thankful for the silence.

I am trying to think something through, not sure what it is.

I know I should check my g-mail.

It's all just a game, isn't it? It sure is.

Now what? What now?

I just want to have fun.

A favorite bartender is quitting. Eeek. I don't blame him.

I got blue paint on my new pair of pants today. Typical of me.

I just fill pages with words. It doesn't mean anything.

To me, writing is like pissing, you can quote me on that, haha.

Set up the keyboard in a new place? The fuck. Where do I put it? It's a good question. I want access to it.

Here comes a band member again, probably the drummer. Makes it hard to think. That is one problem. If he could play good, that would help, I might even to be able to jam out a little to some good drumming on a regular basis, but I had to get someone with not much talent.

Yikes.

If you don't have talent, and you play a loud instrument, that sucks.

I'd better stop with this blog now. That is why I lost the last one, kept it open for too long.

Diary of a Madman

Damn, I lost my blog from last night. I fell asleep. I wrote about the band next door, and how they sound like Soundgarden at times. Other times they sound influenced by U2. It's loud. The drumming sucks. The vocals aren't strong. Their worst song is the 'Hey Now' song.
That's the summary of what I wrote.

I don't care if they ever read this. Chances are next to nil that they will.

The chances that they will read this is about as good as them getting a record contract, haha.

Anyway, it is the next day.

I had my coffee. Ate an apple, which was delicious. I posted a video on the alphabet.

I leave for class in an hour.

I am starting up EverQuest so I can paint.

I guess if I blog, it leaves a record electronically that I was doing something with my time.

If I write in my sketchpad, no one knows that I did anything.

I thought I lost one of my David Lovins Facebook accounts, but I still have both...whew.

Funny to have two accounts with the same name.

I have videos to put together.

I have 75 hits on youtube with the new account, and counting.

Feels good that I paid on my Sprint bill yesterday.

I have other bills to take care of. Yikes.

Little by little, I'll figure out my life eventually, I suppose. Or not.

I'm a little confused this morning, with so much stuff going on, and to think about.

I love my free time, however. I try and make use of it.

I like 'Fight Club'. I haven't seen that movie in a long time.

I still want to see 'Inglorious Basterds'.

I guess I should see 'Avatar'.

'Iron Man 2' looks good, though I want to read the original comics, too.

What a day so far. So different than yesterday in so many ways.

Everything is still the same, too.

Maybe I have been slightly fucked up my whole life. Hard to tell, but I think I am, a little.

I'm an asshole, and don't even know it, haha.

I try to take responsibility for everything I do. Not always easy to look at yourself in the mirror.

I enjoyed reading about 'Art' on Wikipedia yesterday. The article needs some work, though, but it is getting there.
Art is difficult to define, but they did a good job.

I have lots of ideas for new videos. Have to actually do them now.

I just wanted to post this blog, state that one was lost, that I did writing, drew a cartoon strip, filmed it, painted, got xp on EverQuest, checked Facebook, monitored my youtube account.
You see, all this takes work.

I hope I get a grant, or someone wants to give me money for my art, so I can support all of this madness, haha.

Monday Afternoon's Thoughts

Hello. It is Monday, the start of a new week.
It is 3:47 p.m.

A different day today, I saw blossoms on the trees. The Beginning of Spring.

President's Day. I'm still getting used to that. We used to celebrate Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays because they were great Presidents. Now everyone is included. Bush and Bush. Nixon. Reagan. Harding.
Whoop-te-do.
Over a hundred years ago, some people didn't even know who the president was. It wasn't that important back then. What the president did was not that much of an important matter for most people.
It is different now, what with t.v.
There are supposed to be three main branches in government as a balance of power. At least that's what they told us.

I received a public school education for the most part.

Anyhow, not as many people out today. They're taking the day off, deservedly so.

Some people swear on youtube, and don't get into trouble. Others get into trouble. I can't figure out what the standard is or what I can get away with. I can't figure out how they decide. I guess if enough people complain about somebody, that's how they do it.
One woman with her panties in a bunch can flag a lot of videos, I suppose.

I guess a lot of people are becoming cops these days to pay the bills. I don't know if that is good or not.
If people didn't commit crime, I guess there wouldn't be a need for so many cops, but that is naive of me.
The U.S.A. does have the highest prison population relative to the population in the world.
Groovy, man.

More EverQuest. When I have the game on, I paint. It helps me.
My character gets some xp, and so do I.

My new channel on youtube is going well. 59 hits. Makes me excited, because it keeps going up.
I actually delight when a video has zero hits. It's funny.
We'll see what happens.
It would be thrilling to get discovered off of youtube for my art.
It would also be thrilling if someone saw my videos and decided to send me $10,000. That would be nice. I have bills to pay. Mostly student loans. I'd like to get those taken care of so I can move on with my life.

Anyhoo...........

I wonder what will happen today! Anything can happen, that is what is exciting.

New yoga teacher today. It was a nice and easy class, not many people were there because of the holiday. Fine with me.
Some guy fell asleep during chavassana.
"Looks like we lost him," I said.
That didn't crack a smile from the teacher.
Oh well.
You can't please them all.
I'm sure I'm not always a joy for some teachers.
I'm trying not to be an asshole 24/7, that's why I take class.

To continue.....Scummy is 27. He can stay in the current zone until at least 28. It will take me days to level him up, just a little every day. He just turned 27.
If he were in a group, he could level up in one session.
I like to solo, because there are other things to do around here than just play games.

I did pay $40 on my Sprint bill today. I owe them some money, because I canceled my account. Had to be done. I'll eventually get that taken care of.

One day, all my bills will be paid. I'm excited for that.

I need to go to the dentist. Haven't been in a while. Eeek. I didn't exactly make enough at the ballpark to pay for the dentist.
I have to do something about my life.

It was a good night of Magic last night. The final game took an hour and ten minutes, however. Who has that kind of time?

Frustrating and a waste of time when you have to kill a skeleton that you don't get xp for. Happens.

Blogs. I wonder what the point of them is for me? I'm just writing random crap. Doesn't matter if anybody reads it or not. Maybe they eventually will, I'm not sure how it all works, or what makes people read a blog in the first place. I don't go around reading people's blogs, I'd rather watch what kind of videos they make.
That's just me, though.
I would have to assume that blogs are wildly popular.
I don't see why, most people probably just write whatever comes to mind just like me.

Perhaps maybe someday I'll write some pieces that I work out before hand, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure if it matters or not, so why put the work into it?

I was thinking about Johannes Keppler today.

I like Carl Sagan, his voice is comforting to me.
My father had me believing all the L.D.S. stuff. I guess he figured that the church would whip us into shape somewhat.
Church was boring for the most part. Other kids got to do all kinds of fun things on Sunday, but we went to church, how exciting.

Anyways....I think some guy who was talking about yogurt and salad said to his friend that I was a 'mess'.
Lots of gay guys in the locker room at the YMCA. I don't care as long as they behave themselves. Some of them get tempted with the parading unnecessarily fully nude, the strange sitting positions in the steam room, the checking out of guys in the showers, gets a little creepy when you just want to get dressed and move on with your day.
Sheez.

I can't really say stuff about the Y on Facebook, no point, but I can do it here since no one is reading anyhow, haha.
Lots of nice people over there.
The monthly fees are a little steep, but they have very good teachers, so it is worth it, and they have great facilities.
I don't think I'll ever be one of the YMCA people. I don't quite fit in. Oh well.
I really don't fit in anywhere come to think of it.

Well, at least Valentine's Day is over with. That's a holiday that hasn't meant much to me.

They have so many holidays now, maybe someday they will have 'Holiday Day' where they celebrate all the holidays. They can put it in June, not many holidays there.

I don't have to have my hands on the computer at all times while playing EverQuest. I can cut things out, write this blog on the laptop, move around the studio, and every once in a while get some xp in. The game takes a while to stop due to inactivity, I like that.

Anyhow.....I'm hungry, have to figure out what to eat, anything else to talk about right now? Not sure, maybe later.

It's a Good Day.

Just watched some cartoons with my brother. What we do is we start an audio or visual phone call on the computer. Then we find a Warner Brothers Cartoon, and we start it at the same time, and then we can talk about the cartoon as we watch it. Great stuff, and great fun. We discuss the finer points afterwards, too. We love cartoons, and they help us get through the miserable day, haha.

But it is a good day.

I have to figure out what to eat.

My new channel 'David Lovins 67' is coming along. 32 hits now, woot, with 8 videos, and more are coming.

Makes me excited.

Gonna go out, and make a public appearance at the bar again, and my friend is working. Should be a good time.

Saturday Afternoon in the Nexus Zone

'Computer Frustration' is a running theme. Always something. Makes me laugh at a certain point.
Takes a while to sort out what to do.
Going to the cafe with a simple clipboard and paper helps.
I write what is on my mind.
It is an unloading of what is at the forefront of my imagination. It is similar to putting things into the 'recycle bin'.

My brother and I enjoy making comparisons between the brain and the computer. Very handy.

I've got a lot to do today.

I've all I got. I got nothing but me, and not much of a safety net. If I fall, there is no one to catch me.

With prospects like those, I suppose the best idea is to not look down.

*******************************************

It was a good night last night. It was fun hanging out with some friends at the bar. Nice to have friends. Beats being alone.

I have to figure out what I am going to do with my life. I have a lot of talent and abilities, just got to make them work for me.

I need a steady paycheck is what I'm talking about. That would be nice. I need a way to support my life systems and my art and video making activities.

Takes time, everything does.

I know more and more what I want to do now, and that is nice to have that clarity of mind.

Everything goes towards a single goal, I like that.

I like working on my new 'David Lovins 67' channel. It is what I want to sell. I couldn't do much with the 'kirkindysolospock' channel, though I wish I could have access to it. It is my 'youtuber' channel, the one I can pretty much do what I want with.

The 'David Lovins 67' channel will probably be part 'youtuber' and part 'director', a blurring of the boundaries.

There is no sense of just doing one thing. It's not as if I can get my youtube channel approved by adsense.
I wonder how much they pay for 20 million hits?
That would be nice to get a nice check in the mail, even better if it was a fat one.

I have to figure this shit out.

I'm liking typing on my blog better than my manual typewriter now. The words come fast and hard off of my mini-keyboard that is a USB plug and play. Love it.

Damn, EverQuest is out of sync again. Have to restart it.

I wonder how my brothers are doing? I haven't heard from them in a day or two. Damn. I miss them.

Not much chance of girls lately. They have a lot on their minds. Most girls have options and choices. That they would choose me, well, I'd be a lucky man.
I haven't given up yet.

I skipped yoga today. I wasn't feeling it. I didn't wake up early enough, and I needed some free time.

I like these David Roasted & Salted Sunflower Seeds Ranch Flavor. Eat. Spit. Be Happy.

Guess I'll drink some beer, smoke, paint, play games, and get things done. I need a lot of solitude and time for all of this.

Maybe I'll go out again tonight. Gotta be social, get out there, meet people, get things going on.
I need people to make films with. That is a lot of fun. I want to do more.

I keep thinking about my father. He had to go through all kinds of hoops and over hurdles just to get a film made.
I just turn on the video camera and shoot, upload it, and people can watch right away.
Fun, huh?

Maybe some day, I'll go through these blogs and edit them, and see what is going on with them.

I want to do some dialogues here, and work out all of my thinking.

I am not worried about readers, not a concern or priority.

Funny after I am dead, all this stuff might be here forever, you never know.

I am human the last time I checked.

Gonna end this blog, so I can work on some titles for my next video project.

I get confused.

I really do.

Nah, it's not that bad. I just come up with a lot of ideas, then I have to pick which thing to focus on.
My idea is as long as I'm doing something, then that is good.

Of course, I over-heated my soup. Ooops. Common thing I do. Then sometimes I forget for a long time, and it is cold again, haha.

I had some sync-up problems with EverQuest, so I had to start the game up again.

Cute how a friend asked if there was more than one of me on Facebook. I have two accounts there now.

I am confused with all the computer crap. Passwords, accounts, etc. Boggles the mind sometime, and I have to sort it out in my head. Frustrating at times.

Computer life is confusing, much less my studio space, and my day to day life.

I have a routine, wake up, check computer, get coffee, write and sort out everything, come back to studio, do stuff, go to yoga, have coffee and write more, come back to the studio, and do what needs to be done. Takes time. Who has time for a job? It's gonna be a waste of time when I get one again.

Looks like that is my fate. Damn.

I'm gonna do my thinking on this blog today.

What I want to do is to set up my keyboard in a place where I can actually use it. That would be nice. It still works after all these years, unusual for anything from Radio Shack. I paid $150 for it back in the day.

Ah, fuck, who am I trying to kid? Fuck. Me? An artist? To be successful at it? Geez. For one thing, who cares?

Anyway, after I left up Scummy, I'm gonna work on my films. Might as well. Nothing else to do.

Why do I write this bullshit? Why not? Nothing else better to do.

Kind of funny to flood the world with crap, but I don't have to worry much, no one is reading this anyhow. It is kind of very free in that regard. Since I don't have to worry about who reads this, I can write whatever I want. I like that.

I basically have to prove to the city of San Francisco and to the State of California that I am worth something.
Right now, I feel somewhat worthless.

Maybe I will buy a bag of popcorn, that always makes me feel better.

Fame, riches, women, success, art shows, films, videos, cartoons. Ok, sounds good.

Now to do it. And books, too.

There is no one saying I can't do it. That is good. Nothing to stop me, and that is good, too.

I just need some people who will say 'yes' for my talents and pay me a decent amount.

Fuck the world. Too many rules, when I just want to live.

Jesus.

Woot. Scummy just became level 27.

Now what? I'm hungry.

I wonder how long I can make this blog? Haha. I can just keep going. It's not as if anybody cares.

Why would people read a blog anyway when they could read a newspaper or a book?

Maybe they read these things off of cell phones and ipods, who knows? I have neither.

Big pain in the ass.

I keep thinking about Quentin Tarentino. He's made it. He has exceeded all expectations, and has become very famous, and very well-received. Good for him. He's a hero. Hollywood wasn't even into him at first. Shows what they know.
'Oh, you worked at a video store?'
'Yeah, fucker, what is it to you? I'm making a goddamn movie now.'

Bye, I'm going into film making mode, or whatever the hell you call it.

KirkIndySoloSpock is dead.

I can't access my original youtube channel. Ooops, I linked it to my Google account, thinking it would be a good idea. It wasn't. I was doing good with two channels there. I blew it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have access to it again. I blew it. Makes me sad. All that work down the drain, though people can still see the videos.
Maybe I can gain access to it again, eventually, just hard to figure out how to undo what I did. With security issues, I don't blame how it is set-up at all.
Maybe it is time to move on anyhow into the new.
It's no big deal, the channel went from nothing to 125,000 hits and counting. Over 300 videos. That's enough for one channel, I suppose. I can start something new, and start a new path.
I liked being kirkindysolospock, though. I'll miss him. Damn, I hate screwing up like that, so fucking frustrating.
As a result, I wrote a song today called, "Computer Frustration". Maybe I'll put it together. I think I can do it, shouldn't be that hard.

Damn, I have to make a living. What a bitch that is.

I have to seriously reconsider my life. It ain't working. Yes it is. No it isn't. Just need an income, that's all.

Minimum wage is a joke.

I have a college degree.

Looks like it is back to the ballpark for me, sucks. I don't want to do it. But I will, and I'll enjoy most of it.

I tried hard to make something happen in the last six months, but not much did.

Life is work, I like that saying. I got it from Father Guido Sarducci.

I was trying to hook up all my accounts, and web content, to build an identity online, and I can't even access my channel. Dang. I need a youtube expert, or become one myself. Takes time.

I'll just go forward with the new 'David Lovins 67' channel. It's what I want to do anyhow.

Maybe I'll look into MySpace some more, too. I got nothing to lose.

I'm lost, which reminds me, I haven't seen a single episode of 'Lost'. Looks like a good show, too.

I'm bummed that I can't access my channel. I was having fun there. Damn. Now I have to start all over.

Maybe that channel represented a section of my life, and it is just over. Over, damn you, over.

Shit.

I'm confused.

It's no big deal, I only had 18 subscribers. Those won't be hard to replace. I didn't care about half of them anyway, people who were trying to sell me stuff, usually crappy stuff.
They're trying to do the same thing I am, I suppose. Survive, and a little extra money never hurt.

I'm going to turn on EverQuest again, and get to painting. It's the best thing to be on for me to actually paint at all. Otherwise, I can't do it. I can't focus. Too many computer distractions.

And maybe in a day or two, Google will send me something where I can change the settings on the old account so I can get into it again. Takes time, I should exercise patience at all times.

Sigh.

Maybe I should do some cartoons.

I gotta do something.

I'm gonna do something.

I get lonely sometimes.

I sure did see a nice girl with a sticky out butt today. I actually see her a lot when I'm at the outdoor office. I would never dare talk to her, what would be the point? I don't care that much anyway, but she sure is nice looking. I just don't want to bother anybody. I'm lucky they let me into yoga class. I try to be polite there, and not stare.

Sigh.

Valentine's Day? There's a constructed holiday designed to sell crap, geez.

I should get into that action.

I should get into everything and every situation I can where people want to open up their wallets and give me money, who cares? Money makes the world go round, and you can't do shit without it.

Ok, I'm done now.

Hello, I'm confused, just kidding

The computer stuff can be over-whelming.
College Humor on youtube is great. I like their stuff.
I love Amazing Atheist on youtube. Well, a lot of the time. He does amuse and entertain me often.

Fuck.

Just want to play some basketball. Well, my brother is doing that. Wish I could see him play, that would be fun.

Hey.

Sometimes you gotta fill up the page to keep it going.

Doesn't really matter what I write, right? No, it doesn't. Who cares? I work for free. What's the incentive? What do I get out of writing? Sure, there is the joy of doing it, but after a certain point, you gotta say, "But hey, man, I want a house with a deck and a hot tub. Damn, dude. What do I have to do to get it?"
The minimum wage jobs don't exactly do it. Smart people get real jobs.
I'm somewhere in the middle. Not exactly smart, not exactly stupid, and an artist to boot. But that's me. I have fun, all that matters to me.

Fuck the world. The system they have set up for someone like me, well, they have nothing set up.
All that means is I have to get creative.

They actually have done studies on artists. They are thinkers who are capable of a great variety of tasks.
Artists work with a lot of tools.
There are as many different items in an art store as some hardware stores. Artists need lots of different stuff to create.

I like to make stuff out of what I find here and there. It's fun.
I found a yellow shoe lace today, that will be useful for something.

* * * * * *

I was never very popular in school or anything. I just didn't have it. Plus I was thinking about art. Who had time?
Still the same story.

No reason to impress someone unless you are trying to make money or get laid.

Who cares? I've sold my art when I wasn't even there. I like doing that. It's fun.

I turned on EverQuest, because it seems to be the #1 thing to do if I want to get some painting done. The game is so boring and tedious, that it makes me get up once in a while and slap some paint around.

I'll figure out this computer shit eventually, it takes time.

I have videos to make and put together, and all that.


* * * * *

At my high school, copying pictures from the National Geographic was considered art.

I got sick of that, and saw the fallacy of that, and brought to school a lot of drawings that I made specifically for a canvas. I created an image from my imagination, imagine that.
It was in Utah, so I used metaphorical imagery that tied into the predominant religion.

I guess it is true, people can only handle so much reality. Eventually they snap and just need to look at kitties and puppies and attach human traits to them, and dress dogs in clothes and stuff.

It's a fucked up world is all I can say.

Lovins Brothers, Inc.

We started the company today.

Anyway, having fun here. I'm playing hooky from yoga class because my real teacher isn't there, and I'm not too crazy about the sub. So no point in going.

Might as well drink some beer today, and smoke 'em up.

It's a good day, got bills to pay.

Paying bills is a good thing.

I still have to put up the first video for my new 'David Lovins 67' youtube channel. It takes time to set it all up, and coordinate in my mind what I'm going to do. Should be fun.

Also fun is having two Facebook accounts. It's kind of in the spirit of Peter Sellers and Andy Kaufman. Might as well have a laugh.

Funny to write this stuff to nobody. Or maybe it is to The Universe. No one is reading this blog to my knowledge, not even me. People have browsed through it, I think.

Maybe someday people will read this, I don't know at this point. You never know unless you try.

I don't want to have whatever a typical blog is. Or maybe I am already doing it. I know that I am not a typical person, hasn't always worked out for me, haha.

I do have fun being me, more than ever before, and I enjoy what I do. Always something going on that is entertaining to me, and if all else fails, there is always a book to read to learn more stuff that will help me on this voyage through life.

I like Monty Python. I always come back to them. There's lot of other British shows I want to watch, too. I'll get around to it all eventually.

I never understood why people watched 'Friends' so much, though. I didn't find it that entertaining of a show. I don't think I've ever made it through a single episode.

I miss M*A*S*H. I'll have to dig into some of those old shows, the first three seasons were the best. I describe it as "good watchin'".

I'm gonna go out, have another writing session, and try and make something happen today.

Starting a company is significant.

A mustard seed has to be planted before it can grow into an orchard. That's what they always told me.

Business is business, and people need to pay rent, clothe themselves, and oh yeah, eat.

You only have one life, might as well live a good one.

There are many opportunities in life given, when it is time, you gotta seize the opportunity.

I liked the George Carlin bit that I first heard as a teen-ager about starting a path.
"We don't mind using the ones that are already there."

I'm an Ex-Mormon and Proud of it.

Fuck that shit.

This is one of those things that I can't really say on youtube, because I wouldn't want to offend anyone under 18, or anybody that might be L.D.S.
I don't want anyone to well up with tears.

Just tired of the whole thing.

Celestial Kingdom? Just don't care.
Book of Mormon? Nice fiction, hope it works for you.

Nothing will ever stop the L.D.S. church, except the Alien Insects in Starship Troopers, great movie by the way, but besides that, I'm done, and I have been for twenty years.

I'm 42 now. The first half of my life, I was Mormon, the second half not, and the second half has definitely been better.

Just the praying to an invisible god that wasn't there finally got to me.


Anyway, more from the band tonight, they sound as about as good as the recent Van Halen outing in Seattle. If you don't believe me, it's on youtube.

Happy Wednesday

I'm a bastard. I just won four games of Magic The Gathering, and the last game I destroyed my opponent's islands, and a mountain or two. Not good to destroy people's lands. Not if you want to have friends, and keep them.
It's a vicious game of no mercy. I learned that the hard way by getting my ass kicked enough over the years.

Anyway, it is a good day. I made 'Fortune Cookie Variations' and put it on youtube. I was happy that my brother got to see it, the one who I've discussed fortune cookie messages with for a while.

Also shot some blue girl footage with Cheryl. It was her first voice-over job. She has talent with it, she could be good. She was my first choice, and she accepted. I shot enough footage to put something together tonight, we'll see what happens.

I am starting up EverQuest now with my lizard man, Scummy, but I admit most of my characters are female, because I like to see girls and women kick ass in medieval settings.

Went to the dollar store. I go there every day, often not knowing what I'm going to buy, I just go in there to see what appeals to me.

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:::: Wow, I've been waiting all day to make this on my blog.

It's my 'f-u' to the world, because I don't care.

Haha.

This is an 18 and over blog, so if you don't like this, just go. I think it's funny.

We had to make pictures on computers in 1986, really limited computers back then, I wasn't too impressed. Nice to make a pictogram for old times sakes, because this is the one I wanted to make for my teacher, he was a little too high-strung and up-tight.
He was funny, he looked so young, I thought he was a student at first. He must have been 24-25 teaching computers in high school. What a job. Putting up with us.

I just want to write a blog that reflects how I really think, with no bullshit, just straight-forward and honest.
Since I don't have any regular readers that I know of, I have nothing to lose. And, I don't care anyways.

Anyway, maybe people will just read this if they want to, maybe they won't. It doesn't matter to me.
I started with nothing on youtube, now I have a channel that people watch. It took time, but it was worth it.
I like when people look at my stuff, makes me happy.

I just want to do this blog in the same way I did youtube. Just inch out, and see what happens, and do it at my own pace.
I like doing one blog a day, that feels good to me, to get everything out of my system, and let loose. Then I can move on. It doesn't do me any good to hold everything inside, and I've got twenty years of writing that is doing nothing except sitting in boxes and scattered all over the place, and there is no point in that, either.

It's the same kind of writing as this. Just mental mish-mash stuff. But when I read the old stuff, it takes me back to the day I wrote it, and it helps me remember.

I'm going to have a good evening, I have new videos to work on, and things to paint, and I am starved, so I am going to eat. That sounds good.

Get a little xp in, do some painting, hey, it's a life.

Now to pay for it, haha.

Fortune Cookie Variations

Might as well post it to my blog so my invisible and faithful readers can see this. Both of them.

Comics

Right before I entered the door of the YMCA, the word 'comics' popped into my mind.
I've been thinking heavily of what I wanted to do to make money.
I wouldn't mind making comics to make money. I already make them for myself, have done them for most of my life now and again. It's a medium I keep coming back to, but honestly, I don't treat the medium all that serious, because then it becomes work, and then I don't enjoy making them, and then one of my outlets disappears.
So to make comics with no expectations has always been a lot more fun and useful to help get me through the day.
I did draw a new comic page today, in my own way, and I video taped it. I like the process even more knowing that it can be something that people can watch on youtube.
People love comics, they really do. They can't get enough, not really. Comics are very popular on the web, from what I can tell.
I haven't quite figured out the making of a website, and putting comics and cartoons there. I have so many interests art-wise, it is hard to narrow down. I can only do what I truly love, pay me if it is for something I don't love. Pay me a lot if it is for something I hate, haha.

I made a cartoon called 'Narrative Art', filmed it, and put it on youtube. Zero ( 0 ) hits. I guess no one is interested in that title.

Wow, because it is a blog, and it is set to 18 and over, I can do this, haha:

( o )( o ) Boobs. I learned that one from EverQuest.

IIIIIIID A dick.
))

()
* Women like assholes because a vagina and an asshole are an inch
and a half from each other. I learned that one from 'Team
America'. Funny film.


Wow, the possibilities are endless. I feel like Calvin from
'Calvin and Hobbes', thinking about bad things I could do.

I still feel a little guilt and shame from making anatomical
based symbols, but it wouldn't be fun otherwise. Just
thinking how those symbols are just going to be there
unless someone complains about my blog is hilarious
to me. Hopefully, no one will be bothered by
it. This is an 18 and over blog, so if you
don't like my blog, don't read it.
Since there is no one reading it,
this should not be a problem.



I just talked to one of my brothers on the video phone. Cool. I can shoot videos if I want of us watching a youtube at the same time and each of us commenting on it. Funny.

Wow. The possibilities are endless.

He turned me on to 'Look Around You', an old British programme. It's fantastic, about math and science presented humorously. Brilliant.

Ok, so what now? Making mushroom soup, I love mushrooms. Mmmmm. I'm like a Hobbit in that regard.

Ok, making money in this modern society. Hmmmm, that's a thinker. I'm going to spend the rest of my day on this. It's a problem. A math problem. Figure out how much I need to live. Then, make an amount of money that meets or exceeds that amount.
Ok, sounds easy enough.

Laterz.

Hello, and good afternoon to my invisible readers. I would have to assume that people have just stumbled upon my blog by accident. It would be weird to think that someone is following every word I write, those kind of thoughts make me paranoid. I don't even follow what I write. My writing when I read it makes me cringe because it is so personal, and I'm too close to it. I write it, expel it from my consciousness, and move on. Later, I stumble upon my own writing, and sometimes make corrections, or rethink things, but that is not often.

I just watched a lecture from UCLA on Differential Calculus. I enjoy college lectures on my computer. I can listen at my own pace. Sometimes I lay down in my bed late at night and fall asleep to lectures. I listen to words and concepts as I drift off.
The professor did an okay job. A little heavy, I noticed right away he was short-winded. But hey, he has a PhD, so who am I to say? Plus, he's making a better salary than I am capable of earning.

Yeah, that would be odd to think if a cop, or an FBI agent was reading what I write. Or maybe a CIA dude, haha. Most likely nosy people who have some time on their hands. I know someone has looked at my blogs, gee, I wonder who. It's not that important anyway, just fun to think about.

I have it in me, it looks like, to write one blog a day. Unless I have something more to say later in the day, one blog is enough to satisfy my need to write in a public space such as this, available to anyone to read if they choose. I can only hope that I would be entertaining enough to keep someone reading.

I haven't quite figured out how to play around with the blog medium yet, and have fun with it. I haven't read many blogs at all, I don't get much out of reading other people's stuff. I am subscribed to no other blogs. Maybe I will if someone peaks my interest. I follow one blog on myspace, this woman is a talented writer and researcher, so I enjoy her writing. She puts some real work into her text. I would doubt she would enjoy my blog much, I just write whatever comes to mind like most people.

I'm starting up some EverQuest. I like to kill in a video game context. That's almost the whole point of these games. Get it all out of my system, though, even in the game, no one really dies. Wish it was like that in real life.

Just hearing last night at the bar what some cops had to go through over the weekend doesn't really make me feel like being a cop. Someone told me that a cop starting out in Oakland can make $75,000 a year. Nice salary. It can't be fun working that beat.

I always liked cops, I had a friend whose father was a cop. I grew up thinking, however, that cops were my friends. Nope. They are just doing their job.
Cops always look at me when I'm outside smoking a cigarette, thinking I am up to something. Nope, just taking a break from my writing in the cafe.

It is a strange world.

Uh, it is fun to think that I am a broadcaster. I do my youtube videos, my blogs, my facebook posts. I am doing a lot of electronic publishing. I don't know what will happen with all of that. I could only dream that I would actually build up an audience of some kind. I started youtube from scratch, and someone out there eventually watches every video I do. That's nice, a good feeling that someone takes the time to watch my stuff. I hope I don't disappoint. I do my best. I can do better, takes time. Plus, I like doing what I want to do, whether it will be popular or accepted or not. I can't care about that. People can only deal with so much reality, then they need something to escape with. For me, it's porn, though lately, I've forgotten to look at it. When my world is flat like a dry and barren desert, and I feel that something is wrong, like there is no life in me whatsoever, as if life is a bowl of bad oatmeal, then it is time to see some good asses and some tits bounce around, haha.
They did a poll some years back, and they asked, "What makes you most happy?" And a majority of people said, "Porn". Haha.
Of course, it is really difficult to watch porn for a long time, because it gets boring and tedious, and enough is enough.
Often after watching porn, I'll just look at a cartoon or something, or forget I even looked at it.

I don't think any of my family members would bother to read this blog, they barely have time to think and consider about my artwork. In a way that's good, no need for them to read my blog.
They like some of the stuff I do, though they don't necessarily agree with some of my ideas, but that isn't my problem. I don't agree with some of theirs.
As people, I like my family, and glad we're all here. Too bad Dan is dead, sucks.

I'm sure I'll get some bad band music some time today.

I shot a video at the Outdoor Coffeeshop Office. I'll possibly post it today.

I need to go to the store and buy some food. I'm hungry.

I'm going to try and get some painting done today. I have lots to do.

Public and Private Space? That's been a theme for ten years. What is public? What is Private? How are the boundaries between public and private space eroded?

Strange to marry a woman who would blab to her girlfriends about our marriage and relationship. That is why there are no secrets in this world. Everyone finds out eventually about everything you do. They can tell a lot from your speech. Anything you ingest eventually comes up in conversation, anyone you fuck, you eventually tell someone, all part of the fun, I suppose. It is natural to tell people what you do.

Everyone eventually confesses.

I read in the paper today that an off-duty police officer was in a fatal car crash. That sucks.

People's homes destroyed in Southern California by mud slides. Painful.

It never ends, just when you get your life in order.

I've been lucky enough to escape calamities for sometime now.

"Hi!" just in case anyone reads to this point. I doubt it. Why would they? I don't know. They'd have to be pretty nosy about me, and what I do. I doubt the writing is that interesting.

It is funny to me to just go on and on with this blog just to see where it goes, and where my mind wanders off to.

Eventually, I do get influenced by the environment where I am, that is why I like to write in different places, it lends itself to other kinds of writing.

I wrote a little short story today, that was fun.

It is nice when you have a picture, and you make up a story that goes along with it.

The drummer next door just started up. He isn't even as fourth as good as Zak Starkey, Ringo's son, who played with The Who yesterday during the stupor bowl.

I guess one problem I have in the studio is 'where do I put my keyboard so I can actually play it?' Hmmm. It's a thinker. It still works well, and I could hook it up to my amp. I'll figure it out once I get this room cleaned up, takes time to know where to put things.

The drummer, and why he is bad, is he tries to get too fancy, instead of just keeping steady beats. He is all over the place, and it gets annoying to listen to. And you gotta be really good to work a double bass pedal to make it sound good.

It would be fun to drum, I always wanted to, but never could afford a drum set. Now I just don't know where I would fucking put the damn thing.

It would be fun to pound on some drums once in a while. Someday. I have to sell a lot of paintings first, which is what I got to do. Been trying to do that for twenty years. It's amounted to a whole lot of nothing. I've been influenced by a lot of European artists, and that doesn't help much here in 'America', whatever that means.

It would be nice to get some presentable work together, that's always been my problem.

Takes a long time to make art.

I hope M. calls. That would be nice.

Magic last night was difficult with the loud piano playing. Hard to concentrate. And we only got four games in over three hours. It got to be very challenging and tedious the last game, it was just going on and on, and the game didn't go anywhere, and I don't like to sit in chairs for too long and be tortured with tedious prospects.

All's well that ends well.

Wow, did you read all the way to this point? I find that amazing.

Hey

It's SuperBowl Sunday. From what I understand, this is the best day of the year to go to DisneyLand, because it isn't crowded.
I put up a bunch of videos on youtube, that was fun.
I've made artwork for twenty years. Pretty pointless if no one sees it. I can't even see the stuff anymore, I have so much, it's all rolled up, and put away. The videos help at least to get some of my stuff out there, I'm happy about that. Because of youtube, more people have seen what I do then ever before. No complaints here.
I just turned on EverQuest. Always good to get some kills in and some xp.
I could go up to North Beach and hang out with people to watch the game, or I could just go to yoga. I don't even know what time the game starts. I haven't really cared at all. It would be nice to see the Saints win, after all those years of being a sucktastic team, and it would be good for the city of New Orleans.
All of a sudden, there are Saints fans in San Francisco. Who knew? Actually, a lot of people moved here from New Orleans after Katrina, that's why.

I used to watch a lot of football while living in Utah. There was nothing else to do.
I remember watching the Philadelphia Eagles win the superbowl when I was in 7th grade, 1980 possibly, and the world had changed. Wow, the Eagles won. That meant that I had to think of the band The Eagles, and the Philapdelphia Eagles, as Eagles that really meant something. I went to school thinking how the superbowl had affected me, and I was thrilled to see how the other kids would react because someone won a football game. It was exciting. An event that I participated in, and was a part of, because I had seen it on t.v. That was my idea of world events back then.

My life didn't change much, I was hungry, and wanting to do something, but couldn't. No resources, just school. I didn't have the energy or the desire to be a good student, I got slack from the drudgery of school, with nothing going on, and a limited sense of self. All I had was baseball to look forward to. That was the only thing that got my blood going, the only time I really felt alive. Existence was drudgery.

There is a yoga woman in class, she is absolutely repulsed by me, she probably wishes I didn't show up to class anymore. She is a nice woman.
I'm a complete artist type, wearing old clothes, dirty and scroungy from working in the studio, smoking, drinking, but hey, I take two showers a day, I don't know what else she wants.
She's very attractive to me, and I've followed her footsteps with my eyes in the past. She has an amazing body, and she'd be awesome to make a painting of, that's why I look at her, after twenty years of life drawing, you start to be selective of who you want to paint.
Yeah, she is completely repulsed by me. I think she is married. I never talk to her or bother her, or any woman in yoga class that I know of.
I go into class unshaven, dishevelled at times, I don't care.
The YMCA I go to is in the heart of The Financial District, and there are lots of business people that go there. I'm not one of them at all.
So, business people, and men in the locker rooms that scope out other men a little too much, and a little too obvious.
I've seen men in the locker room look at who comes in and out of the shower, and sit in strange positions fully nude in the steam room. It's like, "Dude, towel?" and "Plenty of gay bathhouses in the city, it's the YMCA, man."
I don't care if someone is gay or not, doesn't matter to me. You can't buy class, though.

No one wants to read all this shit on Facebook, so I might as well blog it. I have an excess of words, and they have to go somewhere. I'm sick of just putting words on paper here, and not have them go anywhere. I have mountains of paper as it is, and I don't know what to do with all of that. I also don't know what the point of it all is. I'm not published except what I've printed up myself, but it is hard to get people to buy stuff that I've printed off of a xerox machine, so I've given up on that.
Even with xeroxing a one-page cartoon? Where do I put it? Where are the cartoons distributed? Who wants it? Might as well just put it all on the web, and people anywhere in the world can look at it in a photo or video. I can't really care if I get paid or not. The idea is to get the art out there, any way I can. I'll worry about getting paid later, if ever. It interrupts the creative process when I have to think about that shit.

Scummy, my EverQuest ShadowKnight, will reach level 26 soon. That is exciting. I have fond memories of leveling up Scummy as a young Iksar warrior, haha.
Like a lot of other players, I am emotionally attached to my characters.

As far as the yoga woman who doesn't like me, well, I made a character that looks just like her on Dungeons & Dragons Online, and kind of named the character after her. She has short hair and a flaming sword of fire that kicks ass against men in religious robes and seafish people. Pretty hilarious.

I don't mess with married women at all. I did however talk to a woman last night that I know who is sleeping with a married man. She says the sex is good. I guess you always want what you can't have, but the guy is married with a couple of kids, and the wife just had a baby three months ago. It's just wrong. I don't want to be within a football field when the wife finds out, because you know, women always find out. It's just the look on a guy's face. She knows, she always knows. Men are stupid to try and hide that stuff. It's impossible, and then you have to live a lie. My 'friend' should just bail on that situation. Plenty of available men, but she's picky about how they are supposed to look to her. She's crazy enough as it is, without sleeping with a married man to mess her life up. I guess the sex has to be that good if she is risking that. Of course, the wife is completely exhausted from the birth and the crying of the kids, and now she has a cheating husband. Great. The wife when she finds out will divorce him, and that will be that mess. And she will find out. It's a small city, some woman who knows the wife will tell the wife, if the woman doesn't suspect her husband as it is.
I just had to get that out of my system, I've been thinking about it last night. Glad I have nothing to do with it, and I'm far away from that kind of crap.

I will take it easy, maybe do some painting, and decide what to do.

My chicken burrito on a tomato tortilla was damn fine eating last night. Mmmmm.

Life Blood

Oh, I get it now.
10% nationwide unemployment.
Computer technology soaring.
They have BlogTV now. Ok.
YouTube. Facebook.
Etsy.
Sites to promote what you do.
The growing economy of the web.
Everyone trying to get a little bit more money on the side.
It's never enough for anyone now. Always something to be desired.
Keeping them hungry theory, ok, I get it.
Let's see what people will do.
All the tools are given.
People have to create their own worth.
They can study us.
We are monkeys.
In a way, we are in a zoo.
The smart people look at what we do on the computer, how we spend our time, what sites we look at. Helps them with research and marketing. Much more effective than Nielsen ratings. It's getting a lot more specific. They want to tap into what people want. They want to predict what people will want.
It's all business.
Well, if people don't have jobs, they can't buy stuff that companies make, so I don't know how they figured that one out.
People are their own best resource. You can't depend on anyone.
I am participating in this vast new experiment. Hey, they have all my test scores from school, along with every other person's scores in this country.
They've been monitoring us our whole lives, on kind of periphial level. We are always in the corner of their eyes.
It's not Big Brother. That is a little too obvious. Better to be subtle about it.
They've gotten good at this stuff. I'm impressed. The best minds have gotten together, and have created this. I see now that it is similar to an online game. People create the game, the characters, the levels, the progression system, and, most of the people are the players. This should be no surprise to anybody. It's been going on for a thousand years and more with people in power, creating systems for the little people. They have discussed methods of controlling the public for hundreds of years.
World's note to self: Don't tell them to eat cake if they have no bread.

Gaea, Mother Earth, she gets pissed sometimes.

I watched a lot of people get swept up in that 'change' thing. A very successful campaign. Most people in public office in the high levels, they are all part of the same club, that should be no surprise to anyone.

I'm listening to the band next door not play music. They aren't very good. They all have day jobs, and they should keep them.
I can imagine them saying, "Maybe if we practice enough, we can someday play The SuperBowl, just like 'The Who'.

South Park continues to nail every topic they address. I love Matt Stone and Trey Parker. They've done well.

Takes a while to learn how to think, I'm still working on it, takes time.

You grow up watching television, and getting bored in school, and then...not much happens.
I was making comic book pages in 4th grade, no one noticed. I kept doing them for my own enjoyment mostly, my siblings were my best audience.

I had no musical talent. I didn't like to practice when it came down to it. Didn't see the point. I wanted to go outside and play. I didn't know you could just take an instrument outside to a secret place and play. Didn't occur to me. Hard to concentrate in my house, didn't want to be there much. It wasn't very peaceful. I wouldn't exactly call it a sanctuary with all the kids crying.

I'm very happy about the Star Trek video phone webcam. It works good. I'm impressed.

Happy Saturday

I guess it is happy. I feel good, that is something.
Just playing EverQuest, drinking coffee, smoking self-rolled cigs, and having a pleasant time in my studio.
I am still thinking about D & D Online with my brother last night. We both like that game. It's right up our alleys. We had a good time fighting acolytes and fish people who were trying to take over the City of Canuth through infiltration. The fish people, we imagined, represented people working in the tax or accounting industry, so we had a good time killing them.
I had a nice time in yoga class. This teacher is a little new agey for my tastes, but she is getting better. I don't agree with her about some stuff, but she will get better as a teacher with age and experience. She is a nice enough person. The actual physicality of the poses and actions we did were good. I just don't need it dressed up too much with her philosophy about things. She did announce her relationship status, and I didn't care if she did that or not. I guess she had to announce it to the whole class. I guess girls like to do that kind of thing, and then talk about her boyfriend for a little bit.

Anyway, I am continuing with the painting today, and I will post some new videos, and see what happens.
I know how to get a hit with a video. Just pick a song, and put good photos of the band with it. People like that. So it is no mystery how to get hits on youtube. My idea is to get people to watch some of the other stuff on my channel that they wouldn't normally watch, stuff about art. That's the challenge. Getting there, little by little. It takes time, like everything.

I should call my friend today. Haven't talked to him in a while. He's the one that came up with the 'Use Birth Control' t-shirt. Maybe I should make a video of that.

Blogger is very useful to me. There isn't enough room on Facebook to put all my stuff. I'm already flooding thing, mostly to no effect whatsoever. That is typical and normal for me. I've never generated much response to anything I've done in my life. Let's just say I've had mixed results. Takes a while to think through a life.

My right arm hurts a little from using the computer too much. Yoga is helpful there. I've done everything right ergonomically, but just the repetition of the movements, no matter where you set it up eventually get to you. I need a table where you can change the level of the desk constantly, sometimes so you can even stand at it. Maybe that is the way of the future. A lot of people get problems in their hands and arms with computers. I could never get a job doing computers all day. I'd get carpal tunnel syndrome inside of six months. Keyboards ought to be angled more like a regular typewriter. I can type on that thing for hours, np.

I talked to my sister, she's doing good.

I have other phone calls to make today.

I'm getting hungry for homemade vegetable soup, that sounds good. I think they have a special on mushrooms next door, have to check it out.

Life is good, getting better, still looking for work, something I can do that won't make me want to snuff it.

The painting and the video making will continue today, and we'll see what happens.

Artist's Depression

Nothing going on in my life. Suffering from Artist's Depression, or it could just be 'David Depression', or 'Family Depression'. Hard to tell sometimes.

I took a high energy yoga class today, too. I just wasn't into it much. Didn't feel like it.

I just took a little nap, while listening to a Biology lecture. That was nice.

I attempted a blog before the nap, but didn't want to burden anybody reading the blog with my depression thoughts.

I ate keische today. I don't know how to spell it. I just tried to find it in the dictionary. No luck.

I am starting to feel better after painting a little.

My brother was a little down yesterday, so I cheered him up, but I feel blue today. No explanation for this. Could be for feeling this way today is I've been coasting on savings for some time, and I have to gear up to make some money. Then it is a battle with self-esteem issues, and trying to feel good about yourself, and just hoping that someone responds to my artwork, or what I do on Facebook, and youtube, it makes me feel good. Any kind of reaction, even if they hate my stuff, that would be better than the constant apathy towards me and my work. Maybe it's my own damn fault for being too much of a dick all the time to people. I can't explain how I am or how I act or behave sometimes. I often feel like I'm the musical equivalent of a hurdy-gurdy box. Maybe I should learn to play something. It can't be that hard, with practice.

A musical instrument might make me happy, who knows? I have plenty of guitars around here, don't know what my problem is. I just feel happy with the painting.

My body needs liquid. I feel like eating a salad, or some fruits and vegetables.

I want to watch cartoons, but I am happy learning about algae from the biology lecture.

No one to talk to right now. Have to wait for people to get home from school or work. Most people don't get to do what they want every day, all day long. I'd like to keep doing this, but I guess I could use some funding.

I have to try something to keep this all going.

I'll feel better in a little while. Just happens sometimes. We'll see how it goes.

Everyone gets the blues sometimes. It's a part of life. The challenge is to pull yourself out of it a.s.a.p. and to fight it.

Beam Me Up From This Planet

Just posted my 300th video on youtube. That was fun. I feel a sense of accomplishment.
I like the number 300.
The movie was good.
I haven't read the comic book yet. I want to. I'm a fan of Frank Miller.
If people type in '300' to see video clips of the movie, maybe my video will pop up once in a while, haha.

I have nothing going on in my life. That's funny. I typed into Facebook that I 'am not in a relationship'. I always think it is funny whenever somebody, usually some girl, announces that she is in a relationship. As if anybody really cares, but it does declare, "don't even think about it, mister," and to the girls, "I'm in a relationship, and you're not."

I actually am in a relationship, with myself. I have my art, my video games and activities, more than enough to keep me busy, and I don't have time for a relationship anyhow. I can barely take care of myself, much less some girl.

I've got my family to take care of, and to keep encouraged. That ain't easy. They are good people, I like them.
Things are getting better, takes time, like everything.
Not easy to get over the trauma of growing up.

Scummy The ShadowKnight is level 25. He has a way to go until the next level.
I like EverQuest, because it is a low maintenance game. You can just have the game on, and have your character sit there and do nothing while you do what you want around the room, and then come back and kill a zombie or skeleton.

A huge success with the webcam I bought. I love it. Works great. Woot. I'm always happy when something works on the computer. Nothing sucks more when you buy an item for the computer and ....it doesn't work. Then you have to go through a whole troubleshooting series of steps, and it's a pain in the ass.

I haven't sought out anybody else's blogs. I guess I should look at what other people are doing, but I'd probably find a blog about some girl who lives with her two cats, I've seen those.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Who cares?

It's kind of nice to be writing a blog that no one will read. It means I can write whatever I want and I don't have to cater to anyone. Can't stand that.

I like Michael Moore, but I can't stand Bill O'Reilly. Kathy Lee Gifford is like nails on a chalkboard, I can't stand her whole thing. She's like a grown up high school girl to me. I'll be happy to see her grow old, and eventually become a prune face.

I had fun on the video phone with my brother. We have fun hanging out. I like his companionship and friendship. He's a caring guy.

I've been thinking a lot about Alannis Morrisette's comment about how everybody is where they are supposed to be. I'm not sure if I buy that, sounds like a pretty good idea. After seeing one of her latest videos, I wasn't sure if she was where she was supposed to be.
I still like Alannis, though, for the most part. The world is better for her being in it.

Artie Lang. I didn't know that he tried to stab himself. His life is out of control. I'm surprised he's still alive. He's moderately funny, but not especially so.

I know what Howard was trying to say when he got behind Conan O'Brien as if he was the pitcher and Conan was the catcher. Howard wanted to establish that he was the top of the pecking order in a bad joke. Conan is sweet, he went along with it. Howard himself isn't a great guest on other people's shows, he's kind of a pain to everyone who interviews him. Howard is best on his own show, with Robyn and others to restrain him a little. I love Howard, but he can be a dick sometimes, haha.

Anyway, I like this planet just fine. I hope people in power figure out asap that war is not good. Also, I hope that I can find a way to support myself. Hey, it's America, a guy like me should be able to find a job, right? Right? So far, the whole thing is a joke. Regardless, bitch needs to make some money.

Laterz, to my invisible audience.

thursday morning.

Hello. Good morning, though saying that seems a little odd. It actually is a good morning, but doesn't especially feel like one. But I don't see how it isn't a good morning, so it must be a good morning.

Anyway, I had success with my Microsoft LifeCam VX-6000. With every computer thing I buy, I usually come to the point where I say, "IT DOESN'T WORK!" Then it eventually does.
It's always a stupid thing or two. Ok, installed the disc, plugged in the camera when prompted into a USB port.
Then the stupid part. Oh, I finally figured out there is a plastic covering on the lens that I have to pull off. Oh, duh.
Then it was blurry, and I was able to call my brother Matt, and then it was, "Oh, duh, it won't focus, oh duh, turn the lens focus on the actual camera. I didn't see that mentioned in the manual. Stupid people like me with computer stuff needs every thing spelled out. Then I didn't want to break the camera turning the lens, it kind of got stuck and wouldn't focus, but it had to be The Only Way to make it work, I went through the settings....My brother actually suggested turning the actual camera lens, I wouldn't have figured it out without him, he's a great help. But after that, it finally worked.
I was able to use the settings, and make all the features work, and it was a lot of fun.
I paid $61. I could have bought another one for $30, but to have a 3x lens, to get a camera especially made for Windows Live Messenger was a plus and a draw to buy this product. Right away I was able to do fun little visual tricks, and it made the video call really fun, which is what I wanted.
I wanted something that would propel me into the future with some fun computer stuff. I'm an artist, and I want the best technology I can get which will help my art, and presentation of myself. I am dependent on this stuff now to help get my art out there.
So there you go, there's that.

My phone calls with my two brothers ended up being really fun, and we talked for a long time. I was able to do puppet shows for one brother, and then once I figured out the computer effects, I was able to use those in that phone call.
Kuleness.

Permanent Vacation

I might as well use the high-lighted green keyword of 'vacation' for this blog, since I am on a permanent vacation anyways.

Same shit, different day. Though I was at the coffee shop drawing portions of the female anatomy, then I was outside having a cigarette, and the girl that was in the cafe on her laptop was bending over and showing me her cute little caboose, pointing right at me. I wanted to grab her by the haunches and give her some good ones. That's what goes through my mind, I don't apologize for being a hetero.

My coffee was good, one cup was enough today.

I'm on a permanent vacation. I don't work, except on my art. Now to get paid would be nice. I don't know how to go about doing that. Otherwise it looks like I'll be working at the ball park as a vendor again. At least I have that option. Better than nothing.

I keep having thoughts about my oldest brother, it fills my mind with stupid crap. I don't know why I bother, it drives me insane thinking about him, because what he says makes no sense. Parts do, but not his entire routine. I have to take into account that he claims to have seen God, Jesus, and even The Holy Ghost. Other people he has seen, he claims, as if they were real, are Moses, Joseph Smith, and it goes on. I don't know why he even bothers to tell me this stuff. It just makes him look like a lunatic in my eyes.

Meanwhile, my two other brothers called me using their webcams. I'm going to buy one today so they can see me. That will be fun.

Time for yoga class, I guess I can't get enough, and it makes me feel good for the rest of the day.

Good Morning

It's Tuesday. I had a good coffee and writing session. I'm awake now, more or less. I go to yoga class in twenty minutes. That will be fun, and will further wake me up, and feel alive.

I made a video of my Popeye painting, and posted it. Took me all of ten minutes to do that. It went on too long, was hoping to do it all within twenty seconds, it took thirty. The words didn't come easily, but I like doing things in one take, and just being done with it.

I've been laughing to myself about business, and what I could have as a home service on Facebook, that I could go over to people's houses and draw them, clothed or naked, whatever they want. I'm no stranger to drawing naked bodies, I took life drawing for twenty years. The customer could kind of act as an art director, and they could have me draw them in the exact pose that they want. That might be fun.
Or maybe I could give art lessons, or tutor English or something. Gotta be something I could do for fun or profit, something that isn't a complete waste of time for me, which most jobs are.

I'm in a good mood. I feel good. That is something.

I like this period of time in my blog, just like I have with other sites that I start up. I just kind of wait and see what happens.

I'm forty-two hits away from 123,000 hits on youtube. I always like it when it crosses over another thousand hit mark.

I watched my 'Fat-Lipped Hog' video. I haven't seen that in a long time, haha. I sound like I'm being really sarcastic towards my source material for that line of dialogue.
You see, my oldest brother used to call me a 'fat-lipped hog' mercilessly, and it made me feel bad about myself, and I would cry. Then he just turned out to be a bastard anyway, and he's really overweight, so now I'm laughing, thirty-five years later.
I don't care if he reads this blog. It is unlikely that he will, he doesn't pay much attention to what I do, and never did.

He's not a bad guy in some people's eyes, I don't know what people think. All I know is that I use my art and writing to get whatever I need to get out of my system, so I can move on with my life. I don't like to live in the past, it is too painful. No point in it, besides.

I might have a reader or two on this blog, hard to tell. I would be curious to know who would read such a blog, haha. It's just a bunch of shit that naturally comes out of my mind.

The keyboard I type on is really cute. It's a little plug and play USB keyboard. I can really crank out the words on it, and my arms hang naturally. It's the best thing for blogging, to have your hands and arms feel really comfortable. I'm inclined to sit up straight when I blog, that is unusual for my computer habits. When I doing an online game, I get into slacker mode, unless I'm being attacked, which is often, haha.

I've been thinking about the line, "Laugh, and the world will laugh with you." I want to laugh and have the world laugh with me. That sounds much better than crying alone with your vodka, and having your tears drip down into the glass.

Also funny with the typing, that the words pour out, but my speech dialogue isn't wired too good. I didn't talk much as a kid. I had things to say, but not many listeners. It was just better to shut up most of the time.

Anyway, life is good, because I get to do what I want. But, I have to pay rent, I got bills, and I am going to have to rejoin the work force in some capacity. I got a good start with all my videos and computer activities, maybe something will happen, you never know. Nothing will happen if I do nothing, that is for sure, without a doubt. If I do something, at least there is a 0.0001% chance of something happening.

I figure I'll edit my blogs later, too hard to edit when I first write them, unless there is an obvious spelling or usage error.

Damn, gotta go, I'm late, but that was fun.